You Can’t Fight Based on Fear

Over the years, in dealing with my addiction to pornography, I’ve realized some pretty profound things.  Things about myself, about addiction, the pornography industry and how to overcome this incredible evil.  [If you haven’t read through my 5 Step Plan to Overcoming an Addiction to Porn, please click HERE before you continue reading this post.  – We’ll wait.]  As you know, I liken this sin to a battle, an incredible fight that we enter into with evil.  A man must enter into this fight aggressively in order to come out victorious.  A thought I’ve had lately is that we can’t fight out of fear.

We can’t fight an addiction to porn (or any addiction) because we fear things – the fear of being caught, the fear of ruining a relationship, the fear of having to confess our sins (again), the fear of our work finding inappropriate material on their computer, the fear of failing, the fear of giving in to the temptation, etc.  A soldier doesn’t go into battle fearful – he goes in confident in his training, his abilities and his leadership.  He knows that because of the work he’s put in up to this point (the training), that he’ll prevail.  He trusts his leadership to guide him through this tough time, quite possibly the hardest thing he’s ever done, or ever will do.  We’re the same way, except here, our salvation is on the line.

Fight aggressively, fight with honor, fight for your life.  Go into this battle knowing that you have God on your side, that you can accomplish all things through Him (Philippians 4:13) and that YOU WILL BE VICTORIOUS!

There is a fear that is healthy for us, in this battle… the fear of offending God.  The use of pornography (and typically the sexual behavior that stems from its use) is sin – mortal sin.  We greatly offend God; through our actions, we turn away from God’s love.  We lose all trust in God.  Sin is a real thing, a serious thing.  Sin removes charity from our heart and separates us from God.  Fearing the loss of salvation (by our choices and actions) is a healthy fear to have.

Man up!

When They Leave God Out

There are some men’s sites out there, trying to do some good work, trying to “get” at the heart of manhood.  You may be familiar with The Art of Manliness, the National Fatherhood Initiative or maybe you’ve seen some footage recently on The Good Men Project – I’ve seen them all over the internet and videos of their TV appearances.  I’m glad these sites, projects, books and resources are out there for men.  However, when they leave God out, they’re leaving out THE important piece.  Without God, faith in God and love for God, a male simply cannot fulfill his role as a man.  Plain and simple.

Watch this video, and note, starting around 1:23, the attitude about “manhood being up for grabs” and “at a turning point”.  And again, starting around 2:10, “there’s no good answer” – in reference to what makes a man “good”.  And one last specific time to notice, 4:28 where again the notion of manhood is ever-changing and up to every one’s own interpretation.

I highly disagree with this line of thinking.  There IS a standard, a definition.  There is a specific way that a man can be a “good” man.  It’s called virtue!  Same with the *interesting* preacher from two posts ago, they’re missing the essential pieces about manhood.  God guides us, strengthens us, enlivens us.  Without God, we can’t live TrueManhood.

Man up!