Ep.15 – How to Fight Lust

Dave discusses an article he recently read, suggesting that a person struggling with pornography should fight their anger – he disagrees. In this episode, he’ll give a better understanding of how to fight lust, or any other vice someone might struggle with. Dave also gives his parenting advice on the topic of teaching your kids expectations.

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The TrueManhood Podcast Episode 9 – Porn Addiction: Part 1

In this episode on pornography, part 1, Dave DiNuzzo opens up about his porn addiction, and a bit of how he overcame it, what porn is, why it’s bad, and how to help ourselves and our kids. Watch for part 2 coming soon, and watch for the upcoming episode on “The 5 Step Plan.” TrueMan up!

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What We Do

From the beginning of TrueManhood Men’s Ministry in 2008, the purpose has been the same… to 1. Fight Pornography, 2. Fight “Cultural Manliness” (the idea the world sells about what “being manly” is all about), and 3. Teach Virtue.  Virtue is the key to the Christian life, and when we strive to grow in virtue, we “become like God”, as we read in the Catechism paragraph 1803.  Males (and females) are being bombarded with information about what masculinity is, and the vast majority of this info is dead wrong!

At TrueManhood, our goal is to help men stuck in addictions to pornography and masturbation out of those addictions, while challenging their ideas, concepts, and actions related to authentic masculinity, while giving men a real, tangible, and applicable approach to implementing virtue in their lives.

Founder Dave DiNuzzo Sr. lives out the mission of this ministry by speaking to thousands of youth, college students, young adults, and adults each year, while also writing, and appearing on radio stations, as well as by executing dynamic retreats.  All of Dave’s talks are flexible, as are the retreats.  Generally, retreats are outdoor based and speak to the wildness of a man’s heart.  Please visit the “Dynamic Retreats” page for more info.

Come on this journey with us!  We want you.  We need you.  We want to help.  TrueMan up!

Bought with a Price

I am profoundly excited to bring you a great anti-pornography resource, a revised edition of a Pastoral Letter from Bishop Paul Loverde from the Diocese of Arlington, Virginia.  This pastoral letter originally came out eight years ago, but has been reissued because of the severe and overwhelming need.  “Bought with a Price” – Every Man’s Duty to Protect Himself and His Family from a Pornographic Culture.  It includes a new foreword from anti-porn leader, Matt Fradd.

The intended re-release of this letter is March 19, 2014 – the Feast of St. Joseph, patron saint of fathers.  I highly encourage everyone to read this letter and put what you read into action.

“Today’s father must protect himself and his children from the relentless assault of an increasingly pornographic culture; moreover, mothers share this sacred task.  Every home now stands in the pathway of this attack on our children’s innocence and purity.  If we are not vigilant, our sons and daughters will pay a steep and heartrending price.” p.6

Fathers – it is critical that we work to protect ourselves and our families from the evils of pornography.  First, ourselves, and then those around us and under our care. 

In a future post, I will write on the topic of “helping parents protect their children from the internet” – a talk that I give about the harms of the internet and how to practically handle the situation.  One of the most important aspects of this topic is to have conversations with our children.  If you think that your child isn’t or won’t be affected by pornography, you are wrong.  If your children have internet accessible devices and you don’t know that they can (and probably do) access pornography, you are naïve.  How then do you handle this?  You talk about it!  And it’s never too early to talk about it… when done properly, prudently, and age-appropriately.  (Note: the average age of first exposure to pornography in America is now 8 years old and dropping rapidly!)

Do you expect your child to understand mathematics on their own, with no instruction?  What about anatomy, biology, history?  Certainly not.  The old adage, “having the sex talk” is a misnomer, implying that parents should only speak to their children one time about sex.  Simply check a box and it’s handled.  This does not work.  We should instruct our children on a properly ordered understanding of sexuality, and instruct them often.  I start imparting knowledge on the topic very early with my children… even before they can truly understand.  It sets the tone, and creates a solid foundation for them to grow upon.  As each child gets older, the topic broadens, the seriousness increases, and the formation I desire heavily to provide to my children is strengthened. 

Take the time and read this pastoral letter from Bishop Loverde, then act on it!

TrueMan up!

Porn Shop Shuts Down Near Buffalo, NY

Lots of people ask us if we believe that we can make a difference with our protests of sexually oriented businesses.  We always answer “Of course!”  When we’re out there, it’s easy to question our effectiveness, but we do make a difference.  The Catholic men’s group in Buffalo, NY knows this well, too.  They call themselves The Men of Jesus Christ.  I suggest you check out their website.  Here’s a recent story from them about a porn shop they were instrumental in shutting down.

Now this isn’t news from the Wall Street Journal, but for us in this small town of Kenmore NY, it is a tremendous victory.  I am talking about the Village Books and News adult shop located in one of the most densely populated family areas in Buffalo.  It is a full fledged porn shop and has been in the town for over 30 years.  Indecency laws have been passed to ban pornography shops in the town, but since this the shop was established before the laws were passed, they were grandfathered in, and has remained the eye-sore of the community.  The other day as I was passing by I noticed that the neon sign that says “Adult Video” has been turned off for the first time in 30 years, and a sign that says the store is closed.  A shop that was open 24 hours a day is now gone.

The last time people protested the establishment was in the days of its inception back in the late 70’s and since then it has been tucked in a plaza that most people don’t pay attention to, not because they feel it isn’t harmful, but because it has been there for so long, and its reign has finally come to an end.

It wasn’t until a couple years ago when a couple of us guys decided to pray out there on a weekly basis when a revival began, and it was met with a fight.  We decided to engage in prayer and nothing else in front the place.  Peaceful and prayerful.  We were met with the police threatening arrest, to people screaming and shouting at us, to engaging conversation from people wondering what we were doing.  This one time we were praying as we usually do, and a guy was walking toward us.  When he passed us, there was no eye contact, no conversation, and he planted himself right next to us and started praying with us. When we finished, he kept on his way.  It was simply an amazing act of the Holy Spirit.  It is difficult though.  There was a time when a couple of girls were passing by and asked us what we were doing. We told them and they were shocked, only because they felt there there is nothing wrong with it. After a long conversation. the one girl admitted that her father had a huge porn addiction and went on to explain how that affected her as a female and her relationships with other men.  It was touching, but at the same time devastating.

I have a tendency to think we were doing good out there, but when it comes down to it, it was God’s will that lead the way. I cannot help to think that it was prayer that led to the shutdown of this joint, and it was difficult, to say the least to keep it going.  In Buffalo, when its cold, well, its COLD.  And during prayer we got in the habit of kneeling as we sung the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, which needless to say was not pleasant to listen to when you hear voices like ours.  We know it had an effect though.  There was a night when we started singing, and the clerk as he heard us, would increase the volume of a movie playing in the shop.  As he raised the volume inside, we raised the volume outside. You just knew there was a spiritual battle taking place.  We would start with the St. Michael prayer and then entrust the closing of this place to Mary, a living sign of purity, the real Woman, followed by a rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy.  It was our Mother that guided the closing of this place.  It is Her that is leading this mission.

I want to simply conclude that anyone reading this can make a difference in your area.  All you need to do is say YES!  Say yes to going to a place to pray in public even if it makes you feel incredibly uncomfortable.  Christ knows that, and all He asks is for you to be His vessel and He will do the rest. Christ has allowed us to be disciples in His mission and He is calling you too!  You just need to answer the call.  Three guys joined together in prayer in front of multiple indecent shops and this is what God has brought from it:
1) We prayed out in the warmth and the cold for such a long time, and this book shop shuts down after over 30 years.
2) We prayed once outside of the hamburg strip club, the place shuts down a few weeks later
3) We prayed and acted on the pornographic building with a cover sign facing all traffic of a major turnpike, the sign was removed within 2 weeks after the owner said it would never come down.
4) Family Video has yet to get a tenant to their building, which is the cornerstone to them staying economically viable.
This was achieved with a small number of guys. You men reading this can do the same.  What if there were 10 guys?  What if there were 20 guys?  What if there were 100 guys? What of there were teams scattered around the city protesting these places?  We could change an entire community!

You are being called as men to organize and shut these places down, which includes porn shops, strip clubs, and abortion clinics.  If you have not been out, get motivated to change this culture, and in return God will take care of the rest. We will be engaging in more battles to come so stay tuned to the site.  Stay strong brothers and God Bless

NO! To the Lingerie “Football” League

I didn’t know this was a real thing, but apparently, the Lingerie Football League is real.  I had seen various advertisements for this before, mostly on TV around the time of the Super Bowl each year, but had no idea that his is a full-fledged league, with actual games, tickets, refs and fans.  The LFL, as they call it, is hoping to expand to the new market of Nashville, Tennessee soon, but groups like “Girls Against Porn” have attempted to put a stop to this expansion.

Just reading the names of the LFL teams tells me that this entire “product” is scandalous, in the same vein as strip clubs, prostitution and exploitation of women.  Here are a few… San Diego Seduction, Dallas Desire, Los Angeles Temptation, Philadelphia Passion, Orlando Fantasy.  This CANNOT be what the next generation of young women and girls thinks is authentically feminine!

Many people automatically ask the question, “what’s so wrong about this?”  I ask, “Name one thing that is right about this.”  Nothing!  The objectification of women happens in so many places and in so many ways, why do women continue to allow it to happen to themselves?  Why do men continue to objectify women?  Why do we stand idly by and do nothing anything about it?

There’s no virtue in this.  There’s no honor, pride or goodness in this.  It’s pornography on the football field.  Not to mention on the internet, the TV (pay per view) and in magazines.

Tiffany Helfrich, founder and president of Girls Against Porn, has created a petition, in hopes of stopping the LFL from opening its doors in Nashville.  Here is what she writes about the petition…

Help put a stop to the expansion of this exploitation of women in America.  If you are inclined to sign the petition, you can find it HERE.

TrueMan up!

World Series Baseball and Manliness

Did you know there’s a correlation between baseball and life as a man?  (Actually, if you’re good, you can probably find a correlation between lots of “things” and life as a man.)  Anyway, I had these thoughts this morning, and seeing as how the Rangers battle the Giants in this year’s World Series, I thought I would share them.

As you probably know, the Texas Rangers have never been to the World Series.  Ever.  This makes it a historical year.  The Giants, as the season started, were quoted as being a bunch of “misfits” and “nobody’s”.  Neither team was expected to succeed, especially at this level.  That’s where the manliness-factor comes in.

Imagine that you are a Texas Ranger, or the entire franchise for that matter.  You are the underdog.  You’ve never REALLY succeeded at the level which you should.  You are always falling short.  This is us… at one stage of our life or another.  But, as the Rangers have proven, you don’t give up, you keep working and working hard.  You work and work and hopefully, someday, all that hard work will pay off.  Do you ever feel like the underdog?  Like there’s no point to continuing?

Imagine that you are a San Francisco Giant.  You are expected to lose.  You are expected to be a nobody.  You are written off and never given a chance.  Yet, somewhere deep down inside you, you put the effort forth and have a determination that could split an atom.  You don’t let your critics get to you, you keep fighting and in the end, you laugh (to yourself, because you are humble) at the remarks, doubts and critiques that were thrown your way from the start.  Have you ever experienced this?  Have you ever felt less-than-good-enough?

But guess what… even though a man may feel like quitting, like listening to the nay-sayers, or like laying down like a lame dog and dying, he must know that he must continue on.  When we get to this sort of thinking (we like to refer to this as logic, but we know there’s nothing logical about it) we must remember that we’re not in this fight alone, we have the entire rest of the team.  Here’s how it works in baseball, and how it relates to real-life for a man.

See, in baseball, the pitcher and catcher do most of the work.  (Are you the one dealing or the one receiving?)  The catcher signs the certain kind of pitch he wants and the pitcher delivers.  If the ball is hit, other teammates are involved.  On some plays, there may only be one or two players involved, but on some plays, the entire team is involved.  Then, as the game goes on, the pitcher might become tired – the coach calls for another man from the bullpen to relieve him.  The relief pitcher comes in and takes over.  At some point, a pinch runner might come in, or a pinch batter.  These teammates all relieve one another when one man needs a break.  In our lives, we must remember that we’re on a team and that we have the opportunity to both be relieved and to relieve.

As you watch the Series this year, don’t forget that you should be a team player.  Never does only one many win a baseball game, let alone a World Series.  And, if you’re feeling down or like the cards are stacked against you, don’t give up.  Keep fighting and you might just end up at the place of your dreams.

TrueMan up!

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