Is the Male Gender Really As Bad Off As I Suggest?
Recently, I was asked the question – “Do you really think that men are as lame as you portray them to be on your site?” I was interested in answering the question fully, but because of the surroundings, it didn’t work well to stay on one topic for long. I wasn’t able to fully articulate my position on the matter, so I’d like to do so now.
Do I really believe that the male gender is as bad off as I suggest on this site? Yes, I do. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t write about it the way I do. I write this blogsite because I believe that in order for our society to return to a thriving society, men must play the most vital role in that reversal. I write this blogsite because I see many problems in our Church and among the general population that hates us, and I want to help change that. I write this blogsite because I see families that are doomed from the moment the male and female begin dating, let alone when they get married and have children. I’m not trying to point fingers, I’m not placing blame, I’m not condemning anyone. What I try to do is bring to the light some problems within the male gender that could drastically and radically change the course of society.
Overall, I believe that men do lots of things well. What I don’t see is consistent behavior in all aspects of most men’s lives. What do I mean? I mean that most men are good at a few things, yet the other areas of their life suffer. For instance: a man might be really good at his job and he might devote a lot of time to his career, while at the same time, he ignores his wife and children. Maybe for other men they are pretty good at spending time with their family but fail to lead them spiritually. It could be many different things… you probably get the jist of what I’m saying here.
What’s the main topic I write about? Virtue. I write about virtue often because it is at the heart of manliness. In order for a man to truly be manly (in the real sense of the word), he must be virtuous. Prudent. Just. Temperate. Courageous. Faithful. Hopeful. Loving. I look around and see very little virtue in our world… I want to see it more and more. I want to see virtue rampant among men, women and children. If it were, life would be much different for many people. It starts with the men.
This is my opinion… take it or leave it.
Man up!
Step Back and Watch
I’ve noticed lately that if I step back from a situation and watch other’s behavior, I learn a lot. Unfortunately, I learn a lot about what not to do. I notice behavior that is often selfish, self-centered, arrogant, dominating, argumentative, void of purpose and distracting. In watching others and their behavior, I see a lot of my “former” self in those behavioral characteristics. It’s a blessing to have grown to be where I am now. I’m talking about those situations when you are in a group setting and you are planning out an event, for example, and the members of the group aren’t willing to compromise, they become angry, defensive and standoffish. Nothing ends up accomplished, except that everyone gave their opinion about each and every piece of tasking, the group went round-and-round about the issues and nothing was decided on.
What I recommend here is to simply stop talking and listen. Watch what others are doing; learn from them. Being self-centered doesn’t help anything. It most certainly does not allow constructive ideas to take place within the group. Be wise. Don’t be overbearing or dictatorial, it doesn’t work… it most certainly is not manly and it creates descent among the group.
This brings up a topic that I need to post about… Leadership. I’ll be posting on leadership soon.
Man up!
A Dating Tip, or Two
The other day, I posted the “Superman Dates” video clip. I got a little bit of feedback on it, and felt like it was important to talk about some other aspects of dating, for both ladies and guys.
Ladies: what I am about to say is always true, in every situation, no matter what. YOU DESERVE NOTHING BUT THE BEST. You do. You deserve a man who respects you, who serves you, who cherishes you, who believes and demonstrates that there is no one more important or special for him and you deserve a man who puts his full energy and attention into your relationship. If he doesn’t, then he’s not good enough for you. Plain and simple. If he doesn’t care enough to do the little things in a dating relationship, why would anyone ever expect him to start caring when you are married? Or when times get tough? Or when you have kids? The little things he does/doesn’t do while dating are foreshadowing his future behavior.
It’s also vitally important that you set you standards high, from the beginning. If you wait until you’re in a relationship to create a list of “must haves” it will be incredibly difficult to see beyond the emotion, history and investment of your current relationship. Once you create your list, don’t stray from it. (Add to it, but don’t stray from it.) If you grow, mature and change as a person, your list can change with you, as long as it’s what best for you and your future.
If all the women in the world increased their standards (and wouldn’t compromise on them) it would force men to change their behavior. Now, I’m not saying that it’s the fault of females that men can be bad in relationships or in society or that they don’t know what it means to be a TrueMan. What I’m saying is that if women were to have a standard and keep it, that men would have to check their crass, immature, childish, destructive behavior at the door and make positive choices to raise themselves up to be worthy of dating a woman. Ladies, you hold the power to make your future bright by choosing a man that deserves you because you know that you deserve the very best.
Guys: I’ll most likely get into our part of the dating world in upcoming posts, but for now, read through the ladies’ section and check yourself. If a woman had a list, would your actions, choices and behavior warrant you being selected as “sufficient”? If not, think about things you can do to change so that when “the one” comes along, you’re ready to treat her like your queen.
Man up!
Don't Forget – *$FR.EE* Catholic Men's Webinar
Don’t forget, on Sunday, Joe McClane from The Catholic Hack! (www.catholichack.com) will be hosting a FREE Catholic Men’s Webinar. Please check out this webinar on Sunday, April 26th, 2009 @ 5 pm central at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/catholichack. This online men’s conference will include Fr Phillip Chavez and Joshua LeBlanc (from Catholic Underground). Please take advantage of this great opportunity!
Check out more details on Joe’s website, www.catholichack.com, or by clicking HERE.
Man up!
Superman Dates
I came across this video from BlueFishTV… funny stuff.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=efI-spY4vZ0]
This lighthearted approach to making a few jokes about dating brings up some good points:
1. Dating is difficult – I’m married and boy, am I glad I don’t have to date any more. The pressure, the games, the awkwardness. Yuck. Everyone is looking for love, which is a good thing. Just know that it’s hard for both parties.
2. The success/failure of the date is typically based on the behavior of the male – Ladies, a man should be out to find you, win you over and have you fall in love with him. It’s a quest for men, so let them do it. This does NOT mean that you should lower your standards. If some guy “blew your head right off…”, you better walk away a little faster than she did.
3. Just because you’re “super” doesn’t mean that you’re good at dating – don’t expect miracles just because some guy is popular, handsome or powerful (in one way or another). Being super doesn’t make you a good match or a good boyfriend and it won’t make you a good spouse either.
Man up!
Well said, Fr Frank
I like Fr Frank’s approach here. He definitely Man’s up!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJzJRhoLtUk]
Earth Day
I bet most of you are surprised to see that I’m writing about Earth Day today. Now, I’m no tree hugger, or granola- cruncher, but I think there’s something to be said about protecting the environment. How does a TrueMan do that?
I recommend that we look at the Book of Genesis to get a foundation for this. Genesis 2:15 “The Lord God then took the man and settled him in the garden of Eden, to cultivate and care for it.” To cultivate and to care for it – in Hebrew, to SHAMAR (guard). Everything in the garden (creation) was given to Adam to protect and defend it. Yes, this included the woman (Eve) and the animals, but it also included the land and plants. See, God wanted Adam to take responsibility for his surroundings. Ask any farmer, and they’ll tell you that the land produces more bounty if you take care of it. Adam’s job was to see to it that the land produced a large bounty.
The same goes for us now. God expects that we shamar our gardens (our families, our land, our life, our Church). He expects that we protect and defend all that is around us, therefore, we must protect our earth. Personally, I’m not going to stop driving my eight cylinder Chevy truck, but what I will do is continue to use cloth diapers and homemade bio-degradable baby wipes. I’ll continue to throw away my trash in a can instead of littering the side of the highways. I will instill in my children how to respect the earth. When I camp, I protect the fire from spreading. When I see trash, I pick it up. I’ve recently started using CFL bulbs around the house and just bought a bunch of new ones for the remaining lights. It’s the little things that add up and really count.
Think about how you can protect the earth in your own little way. If we all do it just a little bit, it’ll add up to some big changes.
Man up!
