Changing a Man

Is it possible to change a person?  Specifically, is it possible to change a man?  I hear this topic brought up a lot, especially in the case of bad relationships.  The question is frequently asked in regards to a man who isn’t doing what he’s supposed to be doing.  The question is frequently coming after hindsight kicks in and someone recognizes that they picked a less-than-perfect-man to date, marry or befriend.

So, what do you think?  Is it possible to change a person?  Is it possible for a person with little-to-no-potential to change?  I firmly believe so!  Why do I believe so firmly in this?  Because I changed!  I change everyday, I strive to get better, I strive to change my ways – further away from my desires, interests and comforts, and more towards Christ Jesus!  I think we all have the internal power to change for the better.

I write this post because I see situations regularly, and some very “close to home”, that cause me to wonder why people (men specifically) don’t change!?!  There are so many wonderful things in life to experience, and so much good to be done, and so many people to influence for the positive… why do some people wallow in their filth?  It boggles my mind.

I look at my life and notice that I desire change.  If my wife isn’t happy with something I’m doing, I don’t become defensive and argumentative, I work on getting better!  If my children aren’t responding to my parenting, I don’t blame them, I work to be a better father.  If my prayer life isn’t as strong as I need it to be, I don’t get angry at God, I pray more.  You see, in my life, I have learned that I must be the cause for the change I want to see.  I can’t blame others for things I don’t like.  I can’t sit around and stay stagnant.  I can’t be okay with mediocre.  I must work to grow, to change, to be the man that God created me to be.  We all must do this!

One other thing here… If you know a guy who needs to change, give him the chance.  Have really high expectations and don’t settle for second best.  He has the potential to be better, he just might need to see that someone expects more out of him and that it really does matter how he lives, treats others and believes.  However, if you’ve given someone a chance, and they constantly choose to make poor decisions, to wallow in their filth and refuse to grow, be careful how much you invest in them.  I’m not telling you to stop investing in them, I’m merely suggesting that you be careful.  Ladies – if you are dating a man who doesn’t want to change, be very weary to stay with him.  You deserve a man who will strive to be the best he can be.  Don’t expect marriage to make it better, it may in fact make it worse.

TrueMan up!

Catholics Murdered by Muslims in Baghdad

In an attack on Syrian Catholics worshiping at Mass on Sunday (Oct 31, 2010), 58 people were killed, including 2 priests and 75 people were injured.  The attack was conducted by Muslim extremists.

When will the world wake up and realize that Islam is NOT a peaceful religion?!?!  This story makes my blood churn.  This sort of injustice and attack against humanity must be stopped.  Here’s the story from Catholic Online.

‘The October 31 attack on the Syrian Catholic cathedral in Baghdad that killed 58 and wounded 75 has shocked and horrified the Catholic community and all people of goodwill. We join Pope Benedict XVI in expressing our profound sorrow at this savage violence and offer our heartfelt prayers for the victims, their families, and the Church and people of Iraq.’

More Destinations

WASHINGTON, DC (Catholic Online) – We were among the first online sources to report on the evil actions of extremist Muslims which were committed against the innocent Catholic faithful of Iraq while attending Holy Mass. I wrote an article entitled, Catholics Killed at Mass in Iraq: Extremist Muslims invade Church, Murder Priests .

Of course, the reaction from the Holy See was immediate. Pope Benedict XVI expressed his profound sorrow and solidarity. On the Feast of All Saints he called for an end to the “heinous episodes of violence that continue to ravage the people of the Middle East.” He addressed the “grave attack on the Syrian Catholic cathedral of Baghdad, (where) dozens of people were killed and injured, among them two priests and a group of faithful gathered for Sunday Mass.”

The Pope called the faithful around the world to prayer, ” I pray for the victims of this absurd violence, which is even more savage because it struck defenseless people, gathered in God’s house, which is a house of love and reconciliation…. May everyone unite their efforts so as to end all violence.”

We received an extraordinary number of letters in response to that article on the massacre against Catholic Christians in Iraq by extremists Muslims. Many of our readers asked why this evil act of terror and violence was not covered by the mainstream media and Major Press sources. It took a while, but it finally was. As the news came out, Catholics, other Christians, other people of faith and all people of good will uniformly expressed outrage, deep sorrow and shock at the barbaric act. The sacrifice of their lives must not be forgotten. It points to the growing persecution against catholics and other Christians in Iraq and throughout the Middle East.

We present below the full official statement released by Francis Cardinal George, the President of the United States Catholic Conference of Bishops on November 1, 2010. This great Churchman is equally strong in his remarks referring to this “most recent murderous attack”. He placed it within the context of the ongoing persecution of Christians in Iraq and throughout the Middle East. Once again, we invite our readers around the world to pray for those who were killed while attending Holy Mass, for their families and for all our brethren in Iraq who are in deep mourning over this evil act.

*****************************

Statement on the Attack on the Catholic Cathedral in Baghdad, Francis Cardinal George, OMI

The October 31 attack on the Syrian Catholic cathedral in Baghdad that killed 58 and wounded 75 has shocked and horrified the Catholic community and all people of goodwill. We join Pope Benedict XVI in expressing our profound sorrow at this savage violence and offer our heartfelt prayers for the victims, their families, and the Church and people of Iraq.

In the recent Synod on the Middle East, the bishops from Iraq spoke of the perilous situation facing Christians and other minorities in that country. They recalled: kidnappings for ransom; bombings of churches, schools, and other property occupied by Christians; threats to Christian-run businesses and livelihoods; and the death of Archbishop Rahho and other priests following kidnappings.

Together with this most recent murderous attack, this pattern points to an appalling lack of basic security. Many Christians have been forced to leave their homes or have fled abroad in search of safety. Many have little hope of return to Iraq in the near future.  The Synod called on the international community to help Iraq “put an end to the consequences of a deadly war and re-establish security, something which will protect all its citizens .”

The United States bears responsibility for working effectively with the Iraqi government to stem the violence. Our Conference of Bishops raised grave moral questions prior to the United States military intervention in Iraq and then called for a “responsible transition.”

While we welcomed the end of U.S.-led combat in Iraq, we share the Iraqi bishops’ concern that the United States failed to help Iraqis in finding the political will and concrete ways needed to protect the lives of all citizens, especially Christians and other vulnerable minorities, and to ensure that refugees and displaced persons are able to return to their homes safely. Having invaded Iraq, the U.S. government has a moral obligation not to abandon those Iraqis who cannot defend themselves.

At the conclusion of the Synod, the pope said, “Peace is possible. Peace is urgent. Peace is the indispensable condition for a life of dignity for individuals and society.”

We offer our prayers and solidarity with the suffering Christians of Iraq at this terrible time of loss and horrific violence. We stand with the bishops, Church and people of Iraq in their urgent search for greater security, freedom and protection. We call upon the United States to take additional steps to help Iraq protect its citizens, especially the most vulnerable. “

Here are just a few pictures you can find while doing an internet search of Islam.  Seems like the opposite of peaceful to me.

Absolutely Ridiculous.

Beards for Breath – No Shave November

A man with a great idea… Beards for Breath.  AJ Garcia, a young man with a pro-life passion, posted an invitation to thousands on Facebook just a few days ago.  The info is below.  Great job AJ.

As always, I have my beard and am pro-life.  “For there are only two kinds of people without beards; They are 1. Women and 2. Children. And clearly, I am neither.”

“Most of us are familiar with what has become known as “No Shave November” a great time for men everywhere to join uniting in hairy faces. Each year I am asked to join friends in this shaveless endeavor and each year I am hesitant to commit. There are a few reasons for this, 1. I have symmetrical bald spots on my face preventing the growth of a full and natural beard. And 2. What is the reason for not shaving, is there a cause or what?

So this year I invite you to join me in a cause for “No Shave November” and join me in “Beards for Breath”. Some of you know that October was Pro-Life Month, but why should it end in October? So this November instead of just not shaving I invite you to fast from shaving, giving you an easy opportunity to offer something up in prayer. So every time you itch your face or are running your hands through your beard and think how much it is driving you crazy, offer it up and say a prayer for those little ones that have yet to take a breath and for those who were never given a chance to breathe.

Now I understand that some of you may be hesitant to commit to this due to a female influence; girlfriend, wife, mother, daughter, etc. Well invite them to join you. Not to stop shaving, but to offer up how bad you might look or how much they might hate your facial hair in prayer that those breaths of the unborn might be taken.

There are so many women that are using contraceptives or are considering an abortion, some that have never even considered life for the one inside of them. At the same time men are using contraceptives and encouraging those abortions.

Another thing, have you ever thought of your beard as a weapon? Well this month it can be. Just think, each time someone asks you why you’re going out your facial hair you have such an opportunity to witness to the Pro-Life Cause. Or you can choose to say you’re growing it just for No Shave November knowing that it is for something much more. Be careful with your weapon.

So men let us sharpen our razors one last time this Sunday and then let us unite in prayer and hairy faces as we pray for an end to abortion.”

Just for Laughs, During Election Season

I thought this was funny.  Hope you get a good laugh and I hope you get out to vote in favor of life.

My Alma Mater on National TV

This season of The Biggest Loser on NBC showcased the brother of a Benedictine College student and football player.  My alma mater, Benedictine College, is one of the finest small colleges in the country.  US News and World Report ranked it one of the best colleges in 2011.  Benedictine College was a place where my life radically changed.  I owe a great deal to the institution and especially to my BC friends.

In college, I was a lost young man.  I thought I knew everything.  My favorite saying was “Dave’s way or the wrong way.”  I had a very lax attitude and was quick to point fingers.  I was an angry rageaholic and alienated myself.  I used my intimidation factor to get what I wanted, whether I hurt someone along the way or not.  I was addicted to porn and took advantage of women.  I was a bully.

I left the Catholic Church because I thought I knew better.  I was living a double life; one way in public, another completely different way in private.  It was a downward spiral and I became very alone and fell into despair.  Luckily, I had men and women around me who loved me.  They lived the love of Christ with joy… it was enticing and I never wanted something so badly in my entire life.  I began asking questions, getting my doubts answered and along the way, became a man of prayer.  My prayer life, along with educating myself and asking tough questions, as well as working to right-wrongs, allowed me to get to a place where I could make logical and well-formed decisions.  Eventually, I returned to the Catholic faith and have never looked back.  All of my questions were answered in Sacred Scripture, and enlivened by Sacred Tradition.

In this clip, you will see a college campus that is not only beautiful, but authentically Catholic.  Behind the football field (where I suited up in the #48 black jersey and helmet, and where I ran lots of stairs) you can just barely grab a glimpse of the Benedictine Monk’s Abbey.

This video clip is about more than just The Biggest Loser or about football.  The clip is about what Adam is saying… it is like any tough journey or battle that we face in our lives.

He mentions many things, but the thing that strikes me the most is the ‘pay it forward’ theme.  Because of what I’ve been given, I try to give it back to others in need.  The reason why I do what I do is so that if a man is where I once was, I can help him out of it, or if a man has never been to where I was, I can help him never to go there.

TrueMan up!

World Series Baseball and Manliness

Did you know there’s a correlation between baseball and life as a man?  (Actually, if you’re good, you can probably find a correlation between lots of “things” and life as a man.)  Anyway, I had these thoughts this morning, and seeing as how the Rangers battle the Giants in this year’s World Series, I thought I would share them.

As you probably know, the Texas Rangers have never been to the World Series.  Ever.  This makes it a historical year.  The Giants, as the season started, were quoted as being a bunch of “misfits” and “nobody’s”.  Neither team was expected to succeed, especially at this level.  That’s where the manliness-factor comes in.

Imagine that you are a Texas Ranger, or the entire franchise for that matter.  You are the underdog.  You’ve never REALLY succeeded at the level which you should.  You are always falling short.  This is us… at one stage of our life or another.  But, as the Rangers have proven, you don’t give up, you keep working and working hard.  You work and work and hopefully, someday, all that hard work will pay off.  Do you ever feel like the underdog?  Like there’s no point to continuing?

Imagine that you are a San Francisco Giant.  You are expected to lose.  You are expected to be a nobody.  You are written off and never given a chance.  Yet, somewhere deep down inside you, you put the effort forth and have a determination that could split an atom.  You don’t let your critics get to you, you keep fighting and in the end, you laugh (to yourself, because you are humble) at the remarks, doubts and critiques that were thrown your way from the start.  Have you ever experienced this?  Have you ever felt less-than-good-enough?

But guess what… even though a man may feel like quitting, like listening to the nay-sayers, or like laying down like a lame dog and dying, he must know that he must continue on.  When we get to this sort of thinking (we like to refer to this as logic, but we know there’s nothing logical about it) we must remember that we’re not in this fight alone, we have the entire rest of the team.  Here’s how it works in baseball, and how it relates to real-life for a man.

See, in baseball, the pitcher and catcher do most of the work.  (Are you the one dealing or the one receiving?)  The catcher signs the certain kind of pitch he wants and the pitcher delivers.  If the ball is hit, other teammates are involved.  On some plays, there may only be one or two players involved, but on some plays, the entire team is involved.  Then, as the game goes on, the pitcher might become tired – the coach calls for another man from the bullpen to relieve him.  The relief pitcher comes in and takes over.  At some point, a pinch runner might come in, or a pinch batter.  These teammates all relieve one another when one man needs a break.  In our lives, we must remember that we’re on a team and that we have the opportunity to both be relieved and to relieve.

As you watch the Series this year, don’t forget that you should be a team player.  Never does only one many win a baseball game, let alone a World Series.  And, if you’re feeling down or like the cards are stacked against you, don’t give up.  Keep fighting and you might just end up at the place of your dreams.

TrueMan up!

Message from “Morality in Media” President Robert Peters

Today, the President of Morality in Media, Inc., shared in a press release what White Ribbons Against Pornography Week (WRAP Week) can do in a community and across the country.  For information on what TrueManhood and The King’s Men are doing for WRAP Week, visit “The Fight” on TrueManhood.com and www.TheKingsMen.org.

Annual WRAP Week a reminder that citizens are not helpless to fight back against the proliferation of hardcore adult pornography

This year’s White Ribbon Against Pornography (WRAP) Week will run Sunday, October 31, through Sunday, November 7. The primary goal of the annual WRAP Week is to heighten public awareness of the harms associated with pornography and the need to enforce obscenity laws to curb the proliferation of hardcore adult pornography online and elsewhere.

WRAP Week began with one woman in Butler, Pennsylvania, in 1987. Norma Norris heard the pastor of her Catholic parish lament that prosecutors and law enforcement agencies acted as if people didn’t care about the hardcore pornography being sold in their communities. Norma looked at the people in her church and said, “That can’t be; they’re here!” The idea of a white ribbon as a symbol of community standards of decency came to her and a movement was born.

Robert Peters, President of Morality in Media, had the following comments:

In 1987, the same year that Norma Norris launched the White Ribbon Against Pornography Campaign in Butler, Pennsylvania, U.S. Attorney General Edwin Meese announced in Washington, D.C. the formation of a National Obscenity Enforcement Unit to combat the flood of “mail porn” and “video porn” that was then pouring into American homes and communities.

Back then, defenders of hardcore adult pornography said that the widespread availability of this material was proof that the average American was no longer offended by it and that obscenity laws were no longer enforceable because to be “obscene,” sexual material must depict hardcore sexual conduct in a “patently offensive” manner as measured by “contemporary community standards.”

Between 1987 and 1993, the U.S. Justice Department proved its critics wrong, winning one obscenity case after another and prompting John Weston, an attorney who represented hardcore pornographers, to describe the crackdown on Los Angeles area businesses as “a holocaust.”

Today, defenders of hardcore adult pornography are still saying that widespread availability of this material is proof that the average American is not offended by it; and undoubtedly there is growing acceptance of hardcore adult pornography, particularly among young males who are hooked on it.

But as the Supreme Court observed in Hamling v. United States, the mere fact that pornographic materials are available in a community does not “make them witnesses of virtue;” and in October 2009, Morality in Media commissioned Harris Interactive to ask two questions in a national survey about pornography, with the following results: Overall, 76% of U.S. adults disagreed that “viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet is morally acceptable” and 74% disagreed that “viewing hardcore adult pornography on the Internet provides, generally, harmless entertainment.”

To their credit, the Supreme Court has repeatedly held that the First Amendment does not protect obscene materials, and Congress has repeatedly updated and strengthened federal obscenity laws. What our nation now needs is vigorous enforcement of these laws by the Justice Department.

By displaying white ribbons and taking other steps, including writing to members of Congress and making complaints to local U.S. Attorney and FBI offices, citizens can express their opposition to the proliferation of hardcore adult pornography and in support of our nation’s obscenity laws.

More information about WRAP Week and what citizens can do to fight back against pornography is available at www.moralityinmedia.org (WRAP Campaign) or by calling 212-870-3210.

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