An Act of Heroism

This clip isn’t easy to watch, and my heart goes out to this mother and child.  What a great example of virtue and TrueManhood from this husband and father.  The man’s father puts it well by saying that love will fix the situation.  It may seem ridiculous to some, but love heals.  Afterall, do you think God liked seeing His Son dying on the cross?  Not a chance.  But, the love which Christ poured out for us, by giving up His life, was love at its core.  This man, Brian Wood, knew what it meant to love.

 

 

 

This piece shows me several things:

1. Our society has a drastically obvious double-standard about pro-life issues.  Notice how this pregnancy happens to be a baby – in this setting – but in most others, it’s simply a blob, a tissue-mass or an embryo.
2. Our society drastically misunderstands virtue.  If you notice, several times the gentleman’s actions were misinterpreted, saying that he made a choice and acted.  Although he did make a choice to sacrifice himself, he acted out of virtue.  The virtue of courage was obviously a part of this man’s life.
3. Our society will likely see a video clip like this and continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.  Selfishness runs rampant in our culture.  Fight it by not being selfish.  Be a selfless servant.

My condolences to the family.

TrueMan u!

Porn Proves Deadly

As if our human reason wasn’t enough to tell us that pornography has deadly effects, here’s a story that surely will.

Picture this… An Ohio truck driver was barreling down the highway in upstate New York.  The driver, at this point sleep-deprived, is distracted.  “What is distracting him?” you ask.  The answer: Porn, being streamed on his laptop.  The driver’s rig hit a disabled car on a New York State highway.  The truck driver, a one Thomas Wallace, has been sentenced to three-to-nine years in prison for killing the driver, Julie Stratton, a 33-year-old mother of two.  Stratton’s vehicle was disabled because she had hit a deer and was waiting for assistance in the passing lane shoulder.

Wallace pleaded guilty in May to second-degree manslaughter. Authorities say he’d slept no more than four of the 27 hours before the Dec. 12, 2010 crash that killed Stratton.  The trucker tearfully apologized to the victim’s family at Wednesday’s sentencing.  Sorry bro, your apology isn’t enough.  Your apology doesn’t bring back a woman, a wife, a mother.

I was tempted to include a picture I came across that had “Fatal Accident” spelled out on top, with a graphic of an ambulance, the road and broken glass.  However, I didn’t.  This was no accident.  An accident is when a bird poops on our head, or when we bump into someone walking around a corner.  Wallace should have taken responsibility for his (extremely selfish) actions and disregard for humanity.  “You can stuff your sorrys in a sack, mister.”

Let’s get one thing straight here – pornography kills.  Sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally.  Most of the men, women and children that view pornography every day won’t end up being in a situation like Wallace, unfortunately, some might.  However, THEY ARE ALL in danger of killing their souls, their relationships, their ability to love, their ability to give, their ability to reason properly.  Pornography kills.

Aristotle once said:  “the angry man listens to reason, though not perfectly, but the lustful man does not listen to reason at all.”

TrueMan up!

What We’re Up Against

I found this two and a half year old video on YouTube a couple of weeks ago and have been wanting to post about it, but the timing just never seemed right to me.  I watched it again today and have some thoughts to share.  The video is below, but before you watch it, please be forewarned that many, if not all, of the elements of the video are incorrect.  Blatant disregard for the respect of men is apparent and falsehoods are rampant throughout.  Take a look and then we’ll discuss the problems.

First off, men are portrayed as lower-than Neanderthals in this video, that all we want is sex.  This perception comes from the large numbers of men who make this true.  For those of us who defy this stereotype, we have a long road ahead of us.  Men, if you fall into this stereotype, I challenge you to change your thinking, make better choices and being striving for virtue.  Come on, get with the program.

Secondly, many men have a hard time being friends with women because they 1. don’t know what friendship is, 2. are selfish, 3. have a vastly skewed view of the true beauty of women and 4. have never had an honest and pure relationship with a female.  All of these issues may, in many cases, stem from a man’s use of, exposure to or addiction to pornography.  Pornography has a devastating effect on men, their psyche and their ability to relate with other members of society.  Some men simply don’t know how to interact with others, specifically, women, but pornography creates a serious impediment to having healthy relationships.

Next, the video portrays men as liars.  If we want a solid relationship, we can’t lie.  Honesty, with prudence and tact, is always the best way to go.  Which brings us to the next part of the video… the questions from women.  As a married man, with lots of experience with this, let me help you out.  When the woman you are involved with (courting, engaged to, married to, etc.) asks a question (usually in the form of a rhetorical question), she may be looking for something specific from you in the answer.  If you’re married, and your wife asks “Do you think Angelina Jolie is prettier than me?” you quickly answer (truthfully) “No way.”  Simple.  The reason you’re “supposed to say no” is merely a way of affirming your wife’s beauty.  She shouldn’t really care if Angelina Jolie is prettier in reality or not, and neither should you.  (Personally, I don’t find Angelina Jolie pretty at all, so that answer is easy for me.)

“Do these jeans make me look fat?” – the answer is ‘no’.  You’re not lying, you’re affirming your wife’s beauty.  If the pants aren’t flattering, say so, but do it with charity and prudence, talking specifically about the jean’s deficiencies and never about your wife.  With both of these questions (prettier women and looking fat) they aren’t really asking you for your opinion on the matter, they may be trying to validate the relationship or your deep love for her.  Instead of letting it get to that point, I recommend affirming, complimenting and encouraging your wife well before these sorts of questions come up.  This should happen regularly.  I’m not perfect at it, so take it from me, you can make a lot of ground by answering quickly and positively.  This is always good to say – “I love you.  You’re incredible.  You’re beautiful and I’m lucky to have you.”  To some, this might sound like a canned lie response.  Let’s be clear here, I’m not saying that you should lie to her.  I’m suggesting that you believe those things and get to a point in your relationship where you really see the inner and outer beauty, the incredible nature of your wife and realize just how lucky you are.  Again, as I said before, if we want to be in a solid relationship, we cannot lie.

As for the last part of the video, if you “hear” this way, you’ve obviously got issues.  Don’t let anyone treat you like this, it’s degrading and disrespectful.  I encourage all men to not only hear, but listen.  Listening is the act of being attentive to what is being said.  Hearing is merely allowing your ears to do what they were created to do.

Men, this sort of video is rampant on the internet, in movies and television shows, in emails, songs and printed media.  If we want to change the perception of men, and challenge the men who are the way the video portrays all men to be, then we better get to work.  Start by cherishing your wife and encouraging her.

TrueMan up!

Scandal, Scandal Everywhere

Does anyone else feel like Satan is really attacking the Church hard the past few weeks?  And I don’t just mean his normal tactics; I’m talking huge attacks.  He’s shaking things up close to the foundation and doing major damage in the hearts and minds of many wayward Catholics around the world.  It seems like everywhere I look, every article that gets sent to me and every post about the Church on Facebook… it’s all slander, and scandal.  In the past day, I read about 12 Catholic priests in South America coming out in favor of ‘gay rights’, about a former Lutheran pastor (married, with 6 children) becoming a Catholic priest and about the controversial statements made by Cardinal Schonborn of Vienna, Austria.  These stories don’t shake my faith, but they spark doubt and confusion in the minds of many.

For those who don’t believe in Satan (the Prince of Lies), he exists.  You don’t have to believe in him in order for him to exist.  Actually, the more you don’t believe in him, the less you acknowledge his presence, the more work he can do in your life.  He’s attacking the Church now, I believe, because people’s faith is weak and moral relativism is at an all-time high.  Being aware of where you stand is essential in fighting Satan.

What are we to do about these attacks?  How can one man, a guy like me, do anything to ‘right wrongs’ in the Church?  How can I make a large enough impact to justify doing even one small thing?  The answer starts at home.  You MUST be living as an authentic disciple of Christ.  If you are married, you must be encouraging your wife to do the same.  If you have children, you must raise them in the faith.  This is not a faith of ‘pick-and-choose’… your faith must be solid and unwaivering.  Our faith isn’t individual to us.  It is universal, to the entire Church.  That prevents us from thinking we can make decisions of faith and morals on our own.  If you’re living the faith at home, it translates into living it in the workplace, during leisure time and on vacation (at least it should.)  If we live authentic lives for Christ, others will see and will want the joy that we have.  This may seem too simplistic for some, but the truth of the matter is that arguing with people about scandals in the Church rarely allows for conversion, and only distances their desire for God.

With all of the scandals hitting the news lately, I encourage all of us to pray heartily for the Church.  It is times such as these that we must remain faithful and firm in our resolution to defend against evil.

TrueMan up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Selfishness Impedes Service

My daughter has been sick for several days.  Because she is a toddler, it is difficult to really pinpoint what’s happening with her, what hurts and how to make her better.  I’ve been at a loss for exactly what to do, and although we’re trying, she doesn’t seem to be getting better.  At least not as fast I my wife and I would hope.  As I’ve been observing her and contemplating solutions to this problem, I realized something today… selfishness impedes service.  What do I mean?

When you’re in charge of someone else, and their entire well-being stems from your actions, it’s plain to see that they not only rely on you to make good decisions, but to be at their service.  This isn’t to say that I wait hand-and-foot on my children, but it means that my daughters, especially when ill, need me to be selfless in regards to them.  And, I want to be a servant-leader for my family and for the world, which requires me to continually learn how to better serve them.  I look at my life and realize (quite often) how selfish I can be.  I like what I like, the way I like it, when I like it, how I like it.  This gets in the way of my ability to truly serve my family.

Where did my selfish tendencies come from?  Besides my fallen human nature, my tendency toward selfishness stems from my past pornography use.  It made everything I do, even serving my sickly little girl, about me.  Because of this revelation, I realized that the only way to do that is to look to the cross.  I must unite my failures in life to the struggle Christ experienced on the cross so that I am purified of my tendency toward comfort, self-pleasure and ease.  My little girl needs me to be one hundred percent committed to taking care of her and if I don’t watch it, I’ll put myself before her, falling into old patterns and losing sight of the cross.  If this happens, my selfishness has won and drastically impedes my ability to serve.

I urge everyone to take a step back, especially during Holy Week, to evaluate the areas in your life (vicious behavior) that require change.  Figure out how to change those things and continue to work on them until you possess the virtue that overcomes that vice.

Man up!

A Man, His Wife, a Snowmobile and Wide-open Spaces

I’m a lucky man.  I had the opportunity to get away this weekend with my wife.  We got away for a half day on Friday, stayed overnight and had a whole day together on Saturday.  With children, full-time jobs, a full-time ministry and life, we rarely get a full weekend together.  A big thanks goes out to my brother, a friend of ours and to my in-laws for their help in watching the kids while we were gone.

The overnight date was perfect, just what we needed.  A time with my best friend, a time of relaxation and rejuvenation, a time for some excitement and adventure.  On Friday, we traveled to a small mountain town about 2.5 hrs away.  When we arrived in town, the shop was ready for us.  We signed in, grabbed a helmet for each of us, then traveled about 3 miles outside of town to start our back country snowmobile trip.  We jumped on a touring sled and hit the trail.  We couldn’t have asked for a better day – the sky was blue, the sun was out, the snow was pristine.  It’s days like that when you really enjoy God’s creation… it was as if that day, God had created it all for us specifically.  We toured around for a few hours, enjoying the scenery, the cool wind and each other’s company.  The trip was incredible.

That night, we relaxed in a meager hotel room, enjoying each other’s company, the fact that we didn’t have to put any children to bed and the realization that there was no work in sight!  The next morning, we got up early to hit the slopes, enjoying a day of skiing at a favorite ski resort.  Again, God blessed us with an incredible day of blue skies, warm temps and time together.

What’s my point in telling you all about my wonderful overnight weekend getaway?  My point is simple: take time to rejuvenate yourself.  Find something – it doesn’t have to be snowmobiling and skiing – but find something that gives you life and make time for it in your life.  As a man who is a glutton for a busy life, I can attest to the facts of life and what a busy, stress-filled life can do to a man.  If you don’t have an outlet for your stress, your worries and your cares, they’ll catch up with you.  If you don’t have a source of energy to fill you up, you’ll continually give of yourself until you run dry.  For me, it was 1. time with my wife, alone without our children 2. time away from my computer, work and projects and 3. an opportunity to do an activity (2, in this case) that was life-giving!  After this weekend, I’m ready to tackle my life and everything that life throws my way.

Whatever it is that you need in your life, be it a stress-reliever, a life-giving “fill up” or an outlet of any kind, make special time to make it happen.  It will do you, and the others you are entrusted with, a great deal of good.

Man up!

I Must Do These Things!

I’ve been dropping the ball in an area of my life… consistently and repeatedly.  I’ve been neglecting the one thing that should be my number one priority.  I recently wrote an article all about priorities, yet I wasn’t really heeding my own advice.  I didn’t realize what I was doing, or how my actions and lack of thoughtfulness were really affecting the situation.  What it all really comes down to is that I’m selfish.  I acknowledge this shortcoming and desire to work on it.  I know that if  I don’t work on being selfless, as opposed to selfish, I will ruin the things that are most important to me.  Words, as in most situations, mean nothing when unsubstantiated by actions.  My actions have been speaking volumes, and I am not proud of what they have been saying.

I’m speaking about my wife.  She should be my top priority, but I take her for granted.  She should be my motivation, but I only give her whatever time is left over.  She should be who I concentrate on when I’m making plans, but instead I think only of myself.  I could continue on with a hundred more examples of what I should be doing, but that would just be talking.  I must show my wife, consistently and repeatedly, that what I profess with my mouth is also, and most importantly, what I DO.  My wife deserves better and I intend to make amends, right the ship and continue on.  It’s never easy to admit that I am struggling with something, and quite difficult not to become defensive about what I’ve done… but I’m striving for TrueManhood and I MUST do these things!  I must continue on, but I must strive to be like Christ.  I’m far from Him and unworthy of being followed sometimes, yet there’s one person who I can’t lead astray, and that’s my wife.

I write all of this to show that we’re all on a journey and that each of us must continually strive to grow in TrueManhood and ultimately, in holiness.  Never give up.  Continue to strive for perfection, as our Heavenly Father is perfect.

Man up!

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