The Most Important Relationship of Their Lives

I have the privilege of staying home with my daughters on Tuesdays.  Technically, it’s my day off every week.  I cherish Tuesdays with them and know that I am blessed to be able to have such dedicated and devoted time taking care of them.  I cherish this time because I know, without a doubt, that there will never be a more important relationship in either of my daughter’s lives than their relationship with me.  I don’t say this out of pride or out of attention-seeking.  I say this because it is the truth.

Think about it… where does a young girl learn about love?  Where does a young girl learn how to be treated?  Where does a young girl develop her idea of what her future will hold?  Where does a young girl learn self-respect and self-esteem?  From her father.  [This is NOT to underscore the relationships a young girl has with anyone else, especially her mother.  It is to show that a father has a vital role in the future of his daughters.  In my estimation, the most vital role.]  Her father must demonstrate love; love of his spouse, love of his children, love of his God.  What happens if a father doesn’t fulfill this role or if he fails to fulfill it in the correct way?  Simple, the child’s understanding of how a man should act and treat others is skewed.  This skewed understanding can lead to multiple problems, namely disordered relationships.

Fathers, love your wives.  Set the example for your daughters of how they should expect a man to treat them.  Teach them to set the bar high and to never settle for less than the best.  If they see you being disrespectful, unloving and/or hurtful towards their mother, they are going to grow up thinking that similar behavior is normal and okay.  It’s not.  They will learn not only what love is, but more importantly, how to love and how to receive love from your example.  It is a big responsibility, but that’s what you signed up for when you had sex with your wife. 

Man up!

Following an Example

I have a person in my life that exemplifies something that I strive for.  This person, by their actions, calls me to something better than what I produce, in a way that isn’t judgmental, harsh or overtly obvious.  This person simply acts in a way that entices me to perform in a better way.  This person is my wife, Catherine.  What she does is she lives a life that is selfless and always life-giving.  When it comes to the kids, the house, work or family time, she always puts the needs of the rest of us first.  And she does it in the smallest things.  For instance, when she shops for groceries, she always buys what I like over what she likes.  When we’re going out as a family, she always gets the girls ready, their bag ready, their toys ready… on and on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s an important lesson here –> Men can, and should, learn from women.  Women typically show us a different perspective, a different point of view, a different emotion, a different thought process and usually a different plan.  Notice that I said different… not better, not worse, simply different.  This different perspective can (like in the situation above) guide us towards stronger manliness, if we choose to respond.  Choosing to respond to a higher calling, to be a better man, is a major piece in achieving True Manhood.  Many men think that manliness comes from the denial of the female perspective, however, I know differently.  If I held that position, I would be the opposite of my wife… I would be forever selfish and consumed with my own desires.  Thanks for setting such a great example Babe.

When a Man Loves a Woman

You know those relationships where you can tell, no matter how long a couple has been married, that they really love one another?  I had the opportunity this weekend to experience one of these relationships first hand for the past 5 days out on the east coast.  My wife’s aunt and uncle celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary this year and from the looks of it, they have an incredibly strong marriage… I believe it’s because of how much he loves his wife.  He’s one of those men (a True Man, in my book) that treats his wife with an incredible amount of respect and genuine love.  He’s set an amazing example for their son and for everyone else out there who watches them interact. 

You and I have seen the opposite… relationships where the man is unloving, ungrateful, unsupportive and so on.  A relationships like that is not what men need to see.  We need True Men to set the standard high, to challenge other men to something better and, also incredibly important, we need women to expect this genuine kind of love and to never settle for less.

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