The Tragedy of a Fatherless Child (Cont.)
As I’ve been thinking about my last post, I feel as if I did this topic no justice. Obviously, it would take pages and pages of writing to even hit the surface of the effects on a child without a father, yet I want to go just a bit deeper than I originally did.
The tragedy of a fatherless child – these words don’t even make sense. It’s an oxymoron, to say that a child doesn’t have a father. It’s against nature, as we all know. The effects of these words are evident. A child without a father is like a pilot without a flight plan, a builder without blueprints, a quarterback with no game plan or signal coach. Every child needs guidance, discipline, clear expectations and help, just to mention a few things. When a child goes through life without guidance and direction, they cling to what society shows them will bring them happiness. Many times, the happiness they find is actually a smoke screen, an illusion of happiness. Without guidance and direction, a child clings to what they believe will replace their father, or in some cases, they cling to what is opposite of their father as a way of revenge against the father not being present during adolescence.
What happens to many fatherless children is that they perpetuate this cycle, as we’ve already discussed many times. It takes strong individuals, who make wise decisions, to break the cycle. When the cycle is broken, (or in the rare-case where the cycle never started) we see glimpses of hope and change. Please note, just because a father is present doesn’t mean that a child will automatically turn out great. On the contrary, it requires a strong man (and his wife) to educate, influence and guide their children through every step of adolescence and youth.
Man up!
Embracing Life
Still on vacation… had another experience I needed to blog about. This story is a simple one, yet it contains an incredible life lesson.
Last night, we had a shuttle driver take us from the water park to our resort. Stan showed up right on time, came around the vehicle to let us in and proceeded to very skillfully drive us through the night’s traffic. We began in small talk, and eventually began talking about life. Stan, a married man of many years, had moved to Florida some 15+ years ago with his wife. Just over a year ago, they moved to Orlando to find work. Stan had worked in construction, installing windows and doors, for many years. After losing his job, he took it upon himself to find more work, any work. With the Florida’s economic failings, building was way down and construction jobs weren’t available. As he told us about the tough times that he and his wife experienced, we experienced a side of Stan that I wish everyone could experience. Pure joy.
Stan exemplified joy. He was happy, pleasant, energetic and sincere. Stan spoke of the hardships of losing work in a way that told me that he knew that in order to live (to provide, to be a man) he needed to take whatever work came along. Being a shuttle driver isn’t glamorous, powerful or high-paying – it’s long hours, sometimes unrulely patrons and small wages. He was simply happy to have a job and knows that many others don’t. He knows he is truly blessed. Stan chose to look at his job as if the glass was not only half-full, but that it was overflowing. Stan told us about grabbing as much over time as he could, about the full benefits that his company offers and about how he wakes up each morning wanting to go to work, simply glad to have a paycheck.
The life lesson… live joy. Joy is a powerful tool. I’ve blogged about it before, but in a different context. Stan’s story shows us that no matter what the world throws at us, we can live a happy life. Stan knows that money and possessions are not what rules his life, but loving his wife and giving 100% at work is incredibly honorable and manly, and that dictates what he does in life. Stan shows us all that a TrueMan does what he has to, when he has to, no matter what, in order to live and provide.
Stan… the skies are blue for you, my friend. There will be great things for you in your future – stay positive, energetic and hardworking. Your wife is a lucky woman – keep treating her as your queen. Best of luck to you. I’m a better man after meeting you.
Man up!
Pictures Speak Louder
So I’m on vacation with my wife… we’re here in Florida, enjoying the sun, the pools and the theme parks. I don’t plan to post every day, but I saw something today that I had to address. We were riding on our shuttle and a newlywed couple got on. I knew they were newlyweds by their shirts. The bride modeled a white tank with rhinestones spelling out “bride”. The groom, however, sported a black t-shirt with a picture that spoke much louder than words ever could.
This message, “Game Over”, depicting a groom and bride, shows not only a distane for marriage, but a lack of respect for one another in the bond that just took place through the marriage vows. I’ve got lots of problems with this shirt, but here are my two biggest beefs:
1. He, (if he’s even close to a man) asked her to marry him. He asked her if she would spend the rest of her life with him. Why do men (typically, in society) see marriage as “game over”? Marriage is an incredible gift, an amazing relationship between best friends that work with God to be co-creators of life. Why can’t this guy, and other men everywhere, see this?
2. The bride, who just vowed her life to this man, is okay with him wearing this shirt. She’s okay with him wearing it in public. She’s okay with him proudly displaying his viewpoint of what his new and exciting relationship is all about. Essentially, he’s saying “My past life of fun and freedom is over” and she’s saying “He’s right”.
What a shame. I hope that somewhere, at least one man and one woman reads this post and changes their viewpoint on what a marriage can be. I know the other side of this “Game Over” t-shirt. I know the side of marriage that brings about life, with a woman that I love and share my entire life with. I actually like being with her, spending time with her, sharing my life with her. Best of luck to this young couple; I hope they make it past this sort of attitude and have a long and lasting relationship.
Man up!
Happy Father's Day
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there! I hope that you took the opportunity to be with your children, and children, I hope you took some time to be with your Dad today. May God bless all fathers and encourage them to be a great dad today. Let us pray for all the father-child relationships out there that are in turmoil, struggling or estranged. Let us pray for children who have lost their father. Let us pray for the males who haven’t taken responsibility for their children. Let us pray in thanksgiving for all the great dads of the world. Let us pray that everyone would learn to see God the Father as a loving Daddy.
The image (left) depicts St Joseph; he is our best saintly guide to what True Fatherhood and TrueManhood is all about. After all, the child Jesus learned everything he knew from his earthly father. Joseph was incredibly virtuous, especially possessing the virtues of faith and love. In this picture, we can see the tender and loving touch that he has for his child. He is carrying lilies in this case, instead of his normal carpenter’s (worker’s) tools. He carries lilies to signify his purity; we refer to St Joseph as “The Most Chaste Spouse” of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Take some time to learn more about St Joseph so that you can learn more about what manliness is all about.
I’ve had an absolutely great day (weekend, actually!). On Saturday, we went to Mass, my wife cooked my favorite Italian food, gave me some gifts (Steelers’ tickets!!!) and planned a bike trip to one of our favorite parks in the city. Today was absolutely beautiful with warm sunny blue skies. Everyone should be as lucky as me.
Here’s a little cartoon I found. I hope your dad is like this kid’s dad and I hope your kids see their dad like this kid sees his dad.
Man up!
The Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know
I recently received a birthday card from my parents; the words are meaningful and profound.
“When a Man has a Good Heart and lets it Guide Him –
When He Seeks what is True and Strives to Live by it –
When He Understands His own Gifts and does His Best to Share Them –
That Man does Himself and All Those who Love Him Proud.”
…To the Kind of Man Anyone Would Be Glad to Know…
Man up!
"Take Time to Be a Dad Today"
Today, I was running at the gym and saw a commercial on ESPN for the National Fatherhood Initiative. I was really impressed, especially to see it on ESPN – a channel dedicated to sports and encouraging men to sit and watch them every hour of the day (boooo). I came home and searched for it, finding the website and some commercial clips. Check out the main National Fatherhood Initiative site. To see the commercials, click Public Service Announcements. (Note: they’ve gotta be great, considering that the voice overs are from Darth Vadar’s voice – James Earl Jones and from Magnum P.I. – Tom Selleck.) They’ve got a great slogan: “Take Time to Be a Dad Today”. Sometimes, that’s all it takes – time.
Here are two of them:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5bcsR74oUI]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpFPI2gATnw]
Man up!
Air Force Officers
I’d like to congratulate all of the young men that I know who were commissioned as Officers last night and who graduated today from the Air Force Academy. Many of you have been incredibly inspirational in my life over the past four years. I’ve learned many things from you… and for that I’m grateful. Here are a couple of the reasons why I honor you, your service to our country and your manliness.
- You are men of faith. Your faith is what governs your lives and it is the compass by which you make your decisions. That is incredibly admirable and inspirational to many around you. Keep it up.
- You are hard working. A man is, by nature, a worker. You have embraced the tasks in your lives and completed them with excitement, fervor and excellence. Never lose your work ethic.
- You have ordered your lives towards service to God and Country. You do the unthinkable, and give of yourselves (some of you will give the ultimate sacrifice of your lives) for others who you do not know, will never meet and who might hate you. You are heroes to me.
- You have embraced God’s expectations of you to “shamar” your garden. Unlike Adam, the first man, you have made the conscious decision to actively and aggressively protect and defend yourselves, your families & friends and the Church. May God bless you for your humble service.
It’s easy to honor men who are deserving of honor. I am proud to know you. I am proud to call you my friends. May God be with you on your newest chapter in life.
Man up!
