A Father's Example

I was walking to my truck today in a parking lot, carrying my youngest daughter.  We had just had a nice, leisurely stroll through a store – looking at all sorts of neat things.  As we proceeded to our vehicle, a small car was backing up.  The driver continued backing up, apparently not seeing me walking behind him, or so I thought.  He proceeded to shout something out, throwing in an F-Bomb and getting very agitated that someone happened to be walking behind him while he attempted to back out.  He said, and I quote: “(insert expletive #1 here), don’t walk behind a car when it’s (f-bomb-ing; expletive #2 here) backing up.  (Expletives #’s 3,4 & 5 here)… and so on.”  As I passed his little car, I heard his profane outburst and turned around to look at him, myself agitated that he’d use such language around my daughter.  The woman in the passenger seat saw me staring him down and quickly told the driver to “shut up and get out of here”.  He continued on with his second rant, cut short when he himself turned around and saw me staring him down. 

Now, I didn’t want to have to stare him down, after all, I was carrying my eight-month old daughter.  I figured in this situation that a quick, hard glance might scare him just enough to rethink what he had done.  What made me so frustrated with this guy was that there were little kids (two young boys, no older than eight years old) in the back seat.  I know this because I saw this foursome in the check-out line next to me inside the store.  His behavior inside the store was just as bad as it was in the parking lot, maybe worse.

Here’s my beef with this guy: he doesn’t realize the influence he has on those young boys.  I’m assuming he’s their dad, which is even more upsetting.  These little guys are going to grow up thinking that foul language, anger, aggressive behavior and who knows what other negativity is acceptable and normal.  They’re going to grow up believing that “if I want to be a man, I need to do as Daddy does”.  They’ll be mistaken and will continue to perpetuate the epidemic of males not being TrulyManly.

The reason I write these articles is precisely because of incidents like today’s.  Men everywhere are blowing it.  They’re dropping the ball and passing on incredibly detrimental characteristics to the coming generations.  I applaud the men who are TrueMen that are stopping the cycle and living out manhood the way God intended it.  It’s not easy being a father and having the responsibilities that come with it, yet it’s a must, we have no other choice.

By the way… “old Dave” (the guy I used to be) wanted to yell back, forcefully drag this lame excuse for a man out of his car and pound him until he figured it out.  That wouldn’t have worked out as well.  I think writing about it was a good alternative.

Man up!

Being Daddy on Vacation

I apologize for the long delay between posts.  Since I’ve started this blogsite, I haven’t had a break this long between articles, so thanks for bearing with me. 

I’ve been on vacation with my girls, far away from most of civilization at a great lake in (the middle of) the middle-of-nowhere Montana.  It was great.

While on vacation, it’s important for a father to realize that he doesn’t stop being a Daddy or a husband.  It would have been easy for me to have wanted to stay on the ATVs all day, work on the sail boat, go out fishing or shooting or to hang out just with the other guys.  It would have been easy to neglect my wife and children and do what I wanted to do.  Instead, I made the choice to put them first, and to put my selfish desires to the side.  I ended up having plenty of time on the ATVs (which, by the way, were incredible… see above picture) because I took the girls with me.  I made the loving choice to keep my priorities in line.  We had lots of time together playing, having fun, flying kites, going for walks, playing games and eating like kings and queens. 

It’s also easy (anytime really, but especially on vacation) to neglect my wife.  I strive to make her my top priority, but sometimes I struggle at showing her in the way the she needs to hear it or see it through my actions.  Vacation throws a wrench in everything because a guy is out of his element.  It’s not easy to be romantic, thoughtful or sensitive when there are lots of other adults and children running around.  That’s why its important to think ahead, to plan and to be strategic about the little things.  The little things, especially when it’s out of the normal operating area (home), go a really long way with women.  You know what else goes a long way with women?  When their husbands go out of their way to make special time for their children.  Now, before someone jumps down my throat for being insensitive and seeming like I’m saying that a father should only do what he should because it’ll keep the Mrs. happy and off his case, let me assure my readers that I’m simply saying that wives love their husbands for many reasons… one happens to be when a husband takes special time to be with his children.  I’m also not saying that a husband/father shouldn’t have time with the guys, or doing fun things.  I’m saying that those events can’t be the priority.

So, as you go on your summer vacations, keep in mind that it’s not about you.  It’s about your wife (she’s your best friend, by the way), your children and family time.  Think ahead and make the choice to love.

Man up!

A Month for Fathers

June  is here.  Father’s Day is coming up and I want to take this month to write frequently about fathers, about what a father should be and other topics that pertain to fatherhood.  Today’s topic will cover a sensitive issue of abortion.  Recently, we received the regular newsletter from our local Citizen’s For Life group.  Inside contained some startling information about a father’s role in the abortion process.  Here’s what it says:

FATHERS PLAY KEY ROLE IN ABORTION  – from LifeLine, June 2009

A study published in the International ‘Journal of Mental Health & Addiction’ has found that the relationship between women and their partners and the level of support provided by the fathers are important factors in whether or not the woman aborts their baby.

The study sample was drawn from hospitals in 16 cities around the country, which had high numbers of births to unmarried women.

The final sample was of families already having one child.  The study looked at the reasons women chose childbirth or abortion for their subsequent pregnancy, and examined the decision-making process in the context of her relationship with the father of the child.

No other research on abortion decision-making has taken the family context into account.

This is an especially important issue for our future consideration, since so many abortions are currently performed on women with other living children, implying the presence of the father of the children.

The results of the study indicated that the most important factors in determing the women’s choice to abort a second pregnancy were those associated with the father’s inability – or unwillingness – to provide assistance in rearing the first child.

It found that mothers who were married to the father were significantly more likely to deliver the baby.

The prevailing opinion that women abort because of poverty and financial considerations ran counter in this study.  Mothers, instead, based their decision on whether they would be supported in their role as a mother by a father.

Study results support the idea that it requires both a committed mother and father to assure the choice to deliver and care for a child.

[Excerpts from: LifeNews.com 1-16-09, Author Dr Wanda Franz]

Air Force Officers

I’d like to congratulate all of the young men that I know who were commissioned as Officers last night and who graduated today from the Air Force Academy.  Many of you have been incredibly inspirational in my life over the past four years.  I’ve learned many things from you… and for that I’m grateful.  Here are a couple of the reasons why I honor you, your service to our country and your manliness.

1. You are men of faith.  Your faith is what governs your lives and it is the compass by which you make your decisions.  That is incredibly admirable and inspirational to many around you.  Keep it up.
2. You are hard working.  A man is, by nature, a worker.  You have embraced the tasks in your lives and completed them with excitement, fervor and excellence.  Never lose your work ethic.
3. You have ordered your lives towards service to God and Country.  You do the unthinkable, and give of yourselves (some of you will give the ultimate sacrifice of your lives) for others who you do not know, will never meet and who might hate you.  You are heroes to me.
4. You have embraced God’s expectations of you to “shamar” your garden.  Unlike Adam, the first man, you have made the conscious decision to actively and aggressively protect and defend yourselves, your families & friends and the Church.  May God bless you for your humble service.

It’s easy to honor men who are deserving of honor.  I am proud to know you.  I am proud to call you my friends.  May God be with you on your newest chapter in life.

Man up!

Memorial Day – Signs and Numbers

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgv2uoPcZ80]

Memorial Day – Not Just Another Day

This weekend is Memorial Day weekend… a weekend that typically includes barbecues, picnics, trips, hangouts and lots of other “holiday weekend” events.  Memorial Day, however, is not just another day.  So often we are consumed by our busyness, our schedule, our “to do’s” and we don’t stop and think about others and their sacrifices.  Memorial Day is a day where we should stop and give thanks to those who have and do serve in our military and those who have died for us, our country and our freedom.  We must remember them, for if we forget the fallen, their death is in vain.  POW/MIA/KIA Never Forgotten.

Memorial Day brings to mind many of the sacrifices that I’ve heard about from battle-stories and it reminds me of the many military funerals that I’ve attended as a volunteer member of the Patriot Guard Riders.  Many men and women of our great nation have fought and died for us.  Can you imagine dying?  Can you imagine dying for someone else?  Your death means that someone, or many others,  may have life.  Can you grasp the scope of your sacrifice?  It’s difficult, but important to think about. 

Compare the sacrifice of a soldier to our greatest model and example of a TrueMan, Jesus.  Jesus was a servant of the people.  He gave willingly of Himself and His efforts.  He was a servant-leader, leading by example of how to treat others.  He took time to prepare for the tough times (prayer/fasting), and was always prepared to give an account of His reasonings.  Our military men and women do this on a daily basis.  Thank a soldier today.

I posted this over a year ago on my family blog to my family members and friends… a Thanks.

Most of all, Grandpa Tony. You are my hero Dad. I love you. Thank you for my freedom. You are a wonderful Grandpa to Lily. 30 years in the Air Force is amazing. To me, two tours in Viet Nam is even more amazing. We’re proud of you SMSgt.

Grandpa Gary… thank you for your 20 years in the Air Force. We will always tell Lily about the sacrifices you made for our country. Now, as you ride for the Patriot Guard, I am so proud to call you Dad. I can’t wait until I am able to join up and ride with you to honor our fallen service men and women. Thanks SMSgt.

Major (Select) Uncle Andy… You are a great man. I am proud to call you my brother and my friend. So far, 9 years in Active Duty, 4 years at the Academy. Two tours in Operation Iraqi Freedom and one coming soon. Thank you so much.

Major Aunt Laura… I am honored to be your brother, and for you to be my brother’s wife.  Thanks for your sacrifices. You are setting a great example for your daughters.

Captain Tracy… 20+ yrs of saving lives and property, along with protecting our Marines at Quantico. What an amazing sacrifice you make. Thank you for protecting the American people. You are an inspiration to me.

Uncles Richard, Frank, Bob U., Ray, Randy D. and Roy D.… thank you all for your time of service. My daughters will know about what you did for us.

Shawn O’D… your sacrifice doesn’t go unnoticed. Thank you so much.

Jobe M… I didn’t forget about you. Rick W… You either. Our sailors.

To our friends: Lt Kuetemeyer, Lt. Col. Waller, Chief Laura, Sgt. Ric, Officers Griffiths, Lts. Alberico, Hale, Patino, Valle, Hunt and the others that we know… you are all so amazing. If I forgot anyone, I am truly sorry.

Man up!

Always Being Watched

A TrueMan realizes that he’s always being watched.  He realizes that he’s always in the microscope of someone else… either trying to learn from him or trying to pick apart his actions, words, attitudes, reactions and leadership.  How does a man deal with this pressure?  How does a man cope with the daunting task of never messing up?  The answer, in this case, is not simple.  The answer is a unique answer for each and every man out there, because each and every man has a different demeanor, perspective, outlook and characteristics.

Here’s a few things to remember that might make it easier:

1. Be yourself.  If you’re really striving to be a man, you’ll succeed here.  Strive for virtue and keep your eyes on Christ.
2. Be concerned, each and every day, with being better and better.  This might include professionally, personally, spiritually, physically, etc.  If you are always striving for perfection, your mind is always geared towards success.
3. Think.  Thinking prevents many bad choices throughout the day – do it.
4. Pray.  A man of prayer is grounded in Christ – this helps you see clearly to make the tough decisions and to always stand strong.
5. Be humble.  People are waiting to pick apart any little piece of you they can… why give them any reason to be right?  Be relentless in humility.

There’s a reality here that can really bite someone… if you fail in an area of your life, and someone who is watching you sees it, there’s a long road ahead to mend the impression that they now have of you.  First impressions are huge.  Continuing impressions are huge.  Also, please note that “failing in life”, here, means that you took a mistake to the extreme.  For instance: you’re the leader of a group of students against drunk driving and you get hit with a DUI.  Or, you speak about purity/chastity then get your girlfriend pregnant.  These are the types of failings that push people away, that encourage people to use the word hypocrite.  All in all, you can pick yourself up and move on, but the impact you have on others will be lasting.  Be smart, make good decisions.

Man up!

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