Your Very Best
I came across this video and wanted to post it. It sort of takes me back to two-a-days in high school and college and brings out a bit of that competitive spirit that seems to have been hiding deep inside me. The words of the coach ring true – he’s the encourager, the motivator, a little bit of intimidation, a person you don’t want to let down. The player wants to do the least he can do to get by on each task. The coach won’t let it happen. The same goes for us in our spiritual life. We need a coach to get on our case, to push us to our limits, to encourage us, to set higher goals for us than we think we can achieve. Keep going, you can do it.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAdpFcJ3BUI]
Man up!
How Does a Single Man Live Love?
I didn’t really speak to this in my previous post… how a single man lives love. I spoke about how a married man can live love and how he can show his wife love, but nothing specifically for a single man. Let’s dive in.
[Let’s say that our single guy isn’t in a dating relationship, courtship or engagement.] He still follows the principles laid out in the Catechism (CCC 1822) about what charity is and he realizes that all he does should be out of love for God and love for neighbor. I think it’s easiest to understand this idea (of living love) if a single man lives life as a servant, with the intention of bringing glory to God. Essentially, a single man lives love the same way a married man does, he simply directs his love towards others differently; a married man has a wife and maybe children that he loves above all other humans – if you’re not a husband or a father you’ll understand what I mean if you become one.
Often times, the word love is distorted to mean something (only) having to do with romance and/or intimacy. Not true. Obviously, marital love tends towards romance/intimacy, but marital love should stem from the same foundation that God’s love (specifically, Christ’s love for us on the cross) does. This foundation is life-giving, selfless and sacrificial. It might be easier to get the distinction if we use the word charity in place of love. As we think about what a charity does (helps people, lends a tender hand, comforts, protects, continually thinks about the welfare of others, etc.) it might make it easier for us to understand what living charity means.
A verse to think about:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says: “Charity is patient and kind. It is not jealous, it does not boast. It is not arrogant or rude. Charity does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice in wrong, but rejoices in right. Charity bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
If you’re a single man, are you always patient? In traffic, at work, in line at the grocery store? Are you arrogant or rude? Do you think more of yourself than others based off petty worldview mentalities? Are you irritable? Easily frustrated, constant mood swings or uncontrollable rage? Do you rejoice in others failures or struggles? Think about your life in connection with this verse.
Man up!
How Does a Man Live Love?
Recently, I was having a conversation with some friends about various topics. As we got into the conversation, somehow we got onto the topic of love. I said something to the effect of “… a husband needs to love his wife. He needs to live love.” One of my friends asked me, “How does a man live love?” He said, “We hear that all the time, but how does a guy actually do that? What does he have to do to live love?” It’s a valid question. Actually, it’s more than valid, it’s essential.
We’ve talked previously about love being the greatest of all the virtues. We’ve talked about love being a verb. Let’s put these together. If we possess the virtue of love (also referred to as charity), that means that we perform love 1. with ease 2. with joy 3. at every opportunity and 4. promptly. Once we possess the virtue of love, it’s second nature for us to perform. Notice that there is an action taking place – love is performed. Okay, so we’ve said that love is a virtue and that it requires an action. What is that action?
The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains it very clearly in paragraph 1822: “Charity is the theological virtue by which we love God above all things for His own sake, and our neighbor as ourselves for the love of God.” Love isn’t something intangible that happens to come along every once and awhile, love is for God and others.
As a husband, I can live out love by first loving God and then by loving my wife (for love of God). That means that I strive to do as God has done. This isn’t a sentence full of meaningless words. This means that all I do, everything I think and say, is geared towards and focused on God. The greatest example of how a man can live love is by looking to Christ on the cross. Self-sacrifice, service, humility, obedience. Do these things for your wife and you’ll be loving her.
Practical application: how can I sacrifice for my wife as a sign of love? The greatest gift, of laying your life down for a friend, isn’t necessarily what I’m hoping will happen here, but that’s the ultimate. Sacrifice can be as simple as letting her choose the restaurant you eat at, or what TV show to watch or which song to listen to on the radio. Putting your preferences last.
It’s possible, that for each guy, love means something just a little bit different. In the end, it comes down to loving God and loving others.
Man up!
In Response to a Comment: More Positive Examples, Please
James,
I greatly appreciate your comment, keep ’em comin’! The topic of negative/judgemental material has been brought to my attention before, and I would like to publicly respond. I will write this post here, as well as respond to you in the comment section under “About TrueManhood’s Author”.
The first time I was asked about it, someone asked me, “Do I really believe that men are as bad off as I make them seem?” My answer was emphatically “Yes!”. I witness unconscionable behavior almost on a daily basis, and this behavior has become the socially accepted norm for males. I also, on occasion, see an example of manliness lived out in our modern world – I typically write about it.
I’d like to draw attention to the majority of my past posts during the months of June/July 09; these posts are positive examples of men living out virtue and encouraing others to do the same. Since Father’s Day, 7 of my last 9 posts have had optimistic and positive outlooks on men and their manliness. The few posts that seem to have a negative and/or seemingly judgemental approach are written as real life examples of men who fail to live out the call that has been placed on all of our hearts since the dawn of time. (See the discourse between God and Adam in The Book of Genesis.) These few “negative” examples are in place in order to bring light to the darkness and to hopefully start to reverse a trend that I (I believe we all see it happening in front of us daily) see happening in our culture; this trend is that a stereotypical male lives a certain way. I have referred to this as “cultural manliness” – the idea that a man is judged based on how much money, power, possessions and sex he has. I desire to fight this stereotype, reverse it so that the trend is of virtuous men living out their God-given call and to win souls for Christ.
I would really appreciate any and all comments on this topic!
Man up!
Off To War
Just a quick note today to thank my brother for his service to our country. He’s headed off to fight the global war on terrorism for us. He leaves a wife and daughter at home for many months; Pray for him, her, their daughter and all service men and women in combat.
My brother is a 9+ year veteran of the Air Force, on his way to his third deployment. He flies one of the coolest aircraft ever made, the B-1 Bomber. Nicknamed “The Bone”, this plane has incredible flying capabilities, speed, agility and weapon-load capacity. It flies hard, high and fast.
Be thankful, today and everyday, that you live in the best country in the world. Be thankful, today and everyday, that we have men and women who are willing to step into harm’s way to protect our freedom and liberties. These are our heroes.
The Home of the Free, Because of the Brave.
Man up!
New Pro-Life Video
I just caught wind of this new video, Imagine Spot 3, from CatholicVote.com. Check it out.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxH7CUhHkug&feature=player_embedded]
The Tragedy of a Fatherless Child (Cont.)
As I’ve been thinking about my last post, I feel as if I did this topic no justice. Obviously, it would take pages and pages of writing to even hit the surface of the effects on a child without a father, yet I want to go just a bit deeper than I originally did.
The tragedy of a fatherless child – these words don’t even make sense. It’s an oxymoron, to say that a child doesn’t have a father. It’s against nature, as we all know. The effects of these words are evident. A child without a father is like a pilot without a flight plan, a builder without blueprints, a quarterback with no game plan or signal coach. Every child needs guidance, discipline, clear expectations and help, just to mention a few things. When a child goes through life without guidance and direction, they cling to what society shows them will bring them happiness. Many times, the happiness they find is actually a smoke screen, an illusion of happiness. Without guidance and direction, a child clings to what they believe will replace their father, or in some cases, they cling to what is opposite of their father as a way of revenge against the father not being present during adolescence.
What happens to many fatherless children is that they perpetuate this cycle, as we’ve already discussed many times. It takes strong individuals, who make wise decisions, to break the cycle. When the cycle is broken, (or in the rare-case where the cycle never started) we see glimpses of hope and change. Please note, just because a father is present doesn’t mean that a child will automatically turn out great. On the contrary, it requires a strong man (and his wife) to educate, influence and guide their children through every step of adolescence and youth.
Man up!
