Why Fight Porn?

So what’s the big deal with porn, anyway?  Why do we put so much emphasis on how evil and dangerous porn is?  Why fight porn?

Ask any Catholic priest and he’ll tell you that the majority (majority NOT used lightly here) of male confessions heard in the confessional are oriented towards impurity, lust, sexual misbehavior/acting out and pornography abuse.  This is also not to say that many of the female confessions heard in the confessional don’t also cover these topics.  Many priests I have asked about this topic have told me that upward of 85-90% of the confessions they hear from men are linked to pornography abuse.  This is astonishing and could be, if viewed incorrectly, disheartening.  The devil is attempting to kill our souls, our culture and our Church from the inside out through the use of pornography.  Many believe that it is not a public problem, that if “I” use porn in the quiet of my own home, that it doesn’t effect anyone else.  This is FALSE.

Tomorrow, I will dive into the reality of the effects of pornography, as well as the link pornography has to Life issues and social justice issues (such as divorce, rape, incest, abuse of women, domestic violence, etc.) and will attempt to create for you a strong correlation between these links.  The link between pornography (sexual hedonism and sexual utilitarianism) and many other serious issues is strong!

Before we go, I urge all men to educate themselves on the truth!  Don’t take my word for things, don’t take any one single person’s word for anything.  Do your research and go into it unbiased and open to the truth, for the truth shall set you free!  (This comes from a guy who doubted a ton, thought he could make his own truth and eventually got hit upside the proverbial head with the proverbial 2×4.  Take it from me… do your research!)

TrueMan up!

Christian-Style of Internet Use

Pope Benedict XVI is a smart man.  He knows what’s up.

The 2 minute video below is the hope of the Church, to evangelize the world through whatever means possible.  We hope to do this with TrueManhood.com.

“The Day You Give Birth Is the Day Your…”

“The day you give birth is the day your opinion should matter!” screamed a young female passerby. Really? Is that all this is to you, a bunch of opinions? Really?

This was just one of the many negative comments we received yesterday while praying outside of the Planned Parenthood murder mill here in Colorado Springs. I was out with my buddy Joe, a pro-life giant – faithful to prayer and protest outside of Planned Parenthood EVERY Friday afternoon. On the outside, Joe is mild-mannered, calm and prayerful. Inside, I sense that he’s a raging bull! The fury that rages inside him, because of the injustices against the thousands of innocent unborn babies that are brutally murdered every day in the US (nearly 4,000 babies per day!), is tempered by the Holy Spirit and guided thereby to do much good in our world. He, as we all should be, is a man of action. He puts his ‘money where his mouth is’ and is out there praying every Friday for the end to abortion.

One lady driving by stopped and yelled out her window, “Wait until it’s your wife who is raped!  I’m calling the cops on you guys!”  Another female driver stopped in the middle of the intersection to deliberately give us the finger, the ‘ol Jersey salute.  She stared me down like I was the bad guy, because I was there, on my knees, meditating on the Crucifixion of our Lord and praying for babies.  Absolutely ridiculous.

Listen, if you’re not Pro-Life, you’re Pro-Death.  There’s no other distinction.  Life or Death.  You’ve never heard anybody say “It’s a life or death, or choice, situation.”  Right?  It’s way more than a choice.  Abortion is murder.  And, what’s more, THIS IS NOT SIMPLY A WOMAN’S ISSUE!  Men, this is one of those things that we MUST step up and defend.  We must protect our women and children.  We must stand up for the common good.  We must lead in this fight.  We must stand in opposition to faulty and immoral laws.  We must stand up against evil.  We must stand against our post-abortive culture.  We must stand up and say enough is enough.

On Monday of this past week, I took my family to the Rocky Mountain March for Life.  It took place on Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday.  There was a pastor from Oakland, CA there to speak to the crowd.  (I apologize for not remembering his name.)  He was a black pastor, and spoke heavily about the effects of abortion on the black women (and men, and families, and businesses, and culture and so on) in his “neighborhood”.  One thing he said, that has really troubled me the last many days, is that the vast majority of people sitting in the pews on Sunday in black churches across the country are “post-abortive”.  This means that they have been effected, either directly or indirectly, by abortion.  Meaning as well, that they may be traumatized (although usually in silence) by the negative effects of abortion.  His whole point was that it is incredibly difficult to reach out to this portion of the population, because so many people don’t want to be told that what they’ve done has been wrong, or that they’re wrong in their thinking.  So many people want to keep the status quo, instead of pushing the envelope and challenging what is wrong so that what is right can be brought out and experienced by the masses.

There’s a lot more I could write about this today, but will keep it for additional posts in the future.  For now, please join the pro-life movement in praying for the unborn and for the end to abortion.

TrueMan up!

New Law in Louisville Could Be Big

Taking small steps to curb or end the trafficking of pornography and illicit sexual activity throughout our communities might seem like it doesn’t make a big difference.  The absolutely massive amounts of pornography and scandalous sexual activity (not to mention illegal and morally reprehensible) running rampant everywhere, often seems like a daunting task to overcome.  Many believe that we can’t even make a dent in the $100+ Billion dollar pornography industry.  This is not the case!  Small chunks will eventually make all the difference in the world.  Here’s a great story about a law in Louisville, Kentucky that will help.

Taken from a Louisville, Kentucky based website:

Operators of adult businesses in Louisville are pinning their last hope on an appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court in a seven-year battle with the city over a no-nudity ordinance they say would effectively shut them down. Unless the nation’s highest court intercedes, city officials say they’ll begin enforcing the ordinance as early as February, effectively ending nude dancing and, eventually, alcohol sales at the city’s strip clubs.  If that happens, then adult businesses may as well shut their doors, said attorney Frank Mascagni III, who represents Déjà Vu and PT’s Showclub, because he said no one is going to go to a strip club to buy an overpriced soda and watch a woman dance in a “G-string and pasties.”

“They’re going to run all of these businesses out of town,” he said of the city.  About 25 adult businesses, including several adult DVD and bookstores, have sued to stop the ordinance, which would eliminate all-nude dancing and alcohol sales, and force club owners and employees to pay licensing fees. Clubs will be allowed to sell alcohol until their current license expires, but they will not be allowed to renew, officials said.  The ordinance also would halt touching and direct tipping of dancers by patrons, prohibit lap dances, and enact a 6-foot buffer zone between dancers and patrons, as well as restrict hours of operation and force clubs to make structural changes inside and outside to deter illegal activity.  Owners of adult businesses have been battling the ordinance, trying to get the courts to rule it unconstitutional, since the Louisville Metro Council passed it in 2004.  They’ve lost each step of the way, most recently last spring before the Kentucky Supreme Court.

Mascagni has until the end of January to file an appeal, and says he’ll do so, even as he acknowledges that chances are slim that the U.S. Supreme Court will hear arguments in the case.  Even if the high court decides to hear the case, Mascagni said, that likely wouldn’t happen until 2012.  City officials, meanwhile, are moving ahead with plans to enforce the ordinance, said Bill Patteson, a spokesman for the Jefferson County Attorney’s Office.  “The process has not stopped,” Patteson said.  Initially, he said, citations and fines will be issued only on violations related to portions of the ordinance that are the easiest to enforce, such as eliminating direct touching and private lap dances.

Mascagni said he felt he had to try to fight the new law because he believes Metro Government is trying to legislate morality.  “Politicians shouldn’t be regulating human behavior,” he said.  Metro Council member Madonna Flood, D-24th District, who was one of the sponsors of the ordinance, said it arose from planning and zoning issues with some newly opened adult bookstores in south Louisville and was intended to combat property devaluation and criminal activity.  It was not designed to “legislate morality” or shut down the businesses, she said.  “They have the right to operate, but I have an obligation to protect property owners,” she said.

Mascagni said club owners have indicated to him they would look at the economic impact of the ordinance and consider closing or moving if profits suffer.  “I believe the government has the right to regulate industries — we all know civilized society needs rules,” Mascagni said. “My problem with this (ordinance) is the city government is making conduct that is otherwise lawful so restrictive that my companies will have to go out of business.”  A letter outlining the guidelines of the ordinance is being crafted, and will be distributed to businesses, Patteson said.  Bill O’Brien, director of the civil division for the County Attorney’s office, called the potential high court appeal a “last desperate attempt to avoid regulations.”  “I really do believe they’ll say no,” he said of the Supreme Court.  Jim Mims, director of the city’s Department of Codes and Regulations, which will oversee enforcement, said he understands some businesses will have to make structural changes to comply with the guidelines, such as moving stages or adding lighting. He said the city will give them 30 to 45 days once they receive the letter to do so.  “We will work with operators and property owners to make sure that is the case,” he said. “Our mission is not just to penalize people; our mission is to get these operations in compliance with the ordinance.”

Great Resource For Women – “Yes, She’s More Beautiful Than You”

I came across this great website by a lady named Ashley Weis.  See her site HERE.  Ashley writes strictly to women, to be a support and a source of inspiration to them.  Ashley’s story is a good one – the wife of a man with an addiction to pornography.  This topic is a topic that spurs a lot of questions.  Many women ask me about this topic – how can I help my _________? (fill in the blank).  Sometimes it’s “my husband”, “my boyfriend”, “my dad”, etc.  I know how to help the men, I don’t necessarily know how to help the women.  I was very relieved when I found out about Ashley’s resources.

My wife is a great resource in this process of healing, as she too is the wife of a recovering pornography addict.  She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and really good at what she does.  She has some insights into the feelings, emotions, prayers, healing and trust that goes into all this.  If you’d like to talk with Catherine, feel free to email us at ContactUs@TrueManhood.com and we’ll pass your email along to her.

For women who might be reading this, I hope that either Catherine or Ashley, or any of the other women that are resources on this topic, can be a source of peace and healing for you if you are dealing with this trauma.

For the men reading this, I urge you to see the hurt and pain through a woman’s eyes/thoughts.  It should speak volumes to us and help our behavior.  If you know of a woman in your life who needs to read this, please forward the link to them.

Ashley recently wrote a great article for the Covenant Eyes blog.  I share it with you below.  (BTW: if you’re looking for a great internet security software, Covenant Eyes is a great one.  It might cost a bit of money, but a few dollars a month is worth your salvation, don’t you think?!)

Here’s the blog entry from Ashley that was posted at the Covenant Eyes Blog:

Yes, She’s More Beautiful Than You

“I nuzzled my face into his chest, peered up at him, and said, “I just want to be the most beautiful woman in the world to you.”

Silence.

Immediately, I replayed memories. Like the day I found explicit links on the computer. And the night he confessed to viewing pornography at work while I waited for him at home—pregnant.

“Silence doesn’t make me feel any better,” I said, hoping he’d say something to reassure me.

“I don’t want to say something that’s not true.”

“So, there are women you think are more beautiful than me?” He didn’t answer, but I pried.

“There have been. Yes.”

I gulped and restrained tears. “What about them?” He named qualities. Attributes I already knew he found attractive, but hearing the words ripped my heart into a thousand pieces.

When I begged for a deeper understanding, he asked, “Would it help if I gave you an actual person?” He gave me a celebrity’s name. I thanked God it wasn’t someone we knew.

Then I asked a question I shouldn’t have asked, “So, if you stood her next to me, you would think she was more beautiful?”

“Yes, she’s more beautiful than you.”

Tears rained for an hour. I thought I’d never heal after such devastation. Beauty was stolen from me. My essence was torn apart. I never imagined feeling beautiful again, not after my dearest companion whispered the heart-wrenching words, ‘Yes, she’s more beautiful than you.’

Agonizing thoughts popped up every time my husband and I made love. Whenever we were in public, I feared seeing a woman with the qualities he named. And I cried every time I saw my reflection in a mirror.

I had to do something, but what?

Divorce was out of the question. I didn’t want to break my wedding vows. I didn’t want to run from problems. But I didn’t know how to heal. Sometimes just looking at my husband brought tears. I missed the way our relationship sparkled in the beginning. I wanted us back. But every time I looked into his eyes I felt unwanted and ugly.

My husband began to change. He battled lust and asked God to purify his heart. Even so, whenever he told me I was beautiful, I cringed.

People often reminded me that beauty isn’t reflected in a woman’s appearance—it’s all about her heart. But every time I saw another woman I’d compare myself. And whenever my husband looked at me I’d wonder if I was beautiful enough.

Surely, beauty had something to do with appearance; otherwise God wouldn’t have created women to be beautiful and men wouldn’t be so visually stimulated by their wives. But how could I feel beautiful in my own skin after my husband ranked me below other women? He said he had changed, and his actions proved that his heart was being purified more every day, but I still positioned myself below those women and felt unattractive.

After many agonizing nights of locking my husband out of the house and handing over my wedding rings, I woke up, looked in the mirror, and asked God to help me view myself through His eyes—not my own or my husband’s.

For the first time I saw beauty. But it wasn’t a familiar beauty.

Stripped of make-up and hair products, I saw beauty in my reflection. I saw a woman crafted by God. And He doesn’t make mistakes. Every flaw somehow vanished when I realized that my imperfections were beautiful to Him.

The same God that orchestrates beautiful sunsets created me! Looking at myself and believing I needed make-up, hair straighteners, and tan skin to create beauty was pretty much telling God, “Sorry, but you didn’t cut it. I need to add some things, take away some things, and then I’ll be beautiful.”

It’s not easy to feel this way every minute of the day. Satan seeks to destroy me. He throws arrows at my deepest wounds and worst insecurities. He wants me to feel like I need to prove myself. Like I need something else in order to be good enough. Whether it’s my body or personality, he is always trying to make me think I’m lacking something. God wants me to rest in who I am. Satan doesn’t. It’s like a tug of war for my heart. God builds me up and Satan schemes to bring me down. I don’t want to let him.

Yes, I still wonder if I’m good enough for my husband. I still battle the wow-I-wonder-if-he-likes-that-woman thoughts. But I have learned to view my beauty through God’s eyes. And in turn, I’m not so dependent upon anyone’s opinion other than God Himself.

I hope I will continue to realize the “I’m not good enough” feeling is a lie. There is no perfect woman. God created me to be me. Confidence is a beautiful thing, and I want that! Not stylish clothes, but the godly confidence God created me to have. I desire a smile that beams when the world is crashing down.

I am learning to love myself, appreciate the gifts and positive qualities God gave me, and thank Him for them. I am still learning and struggling, but most of all, still fighting and loving.

Truly, I feel as though my beauty has been resurrected since I looked at myself through God’s eyes, and stopped trying to attain the sex appeal advertised on billboards or advertisements. Although it’s still difficult not to desire that kind of sexiness, God has shown me a different side of beauty. A beauty that He finds attractive, because He created it.

I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to rid myself of the words my husband said. They still tumble through my thoughts and spin my heart. But I have learned to stop believing them. I’ve learned that I do not need affirmation from the world in order to know I am beautiful. Now, when I brush make-up on my face, I know it’s not necessary; it’s only a fun accessory. Real beauty is created by God, not me.

I can shout with full confidence, “I am beautiful,” because the King of Kings fashioned me. And no one can take that beauty away from me.”

Old Vid, Just for Laughs

Just for laughs…

The Colbert Report	Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The De-Deification of the American Faithscape
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog</a> Video Archive

“What Do You Want Your Dash to Represent?”

I just saw this ESPN Documentary about Tim Tebow.  It’s going to be on ESPN in a just a little bit (5pm Mountain Time), but if you’re not reading this right away (which most of you won’t be), I’m sure that ESPN will replay it.

It looks interesting, but I don’t have ESPN, so I won’t be able to see it right now.  As I watched the trailer, I had an eerie feeling in my gut, especially when they were showing him in the stadium after a game and the band girl screamed “I touched him!” as if his “cloak” was able to heal.  The trailer really depicted him as some sort of savior.  Seems to be a weird mix of Tim Tebow’s dedication and determination, even against extreme odds, and an idolization of him as a super-human.  Watch the trailer below and let me know if you felt the same way.

Tim Tebow is a good man.  He is devoted to his walk with Christ and does great things for the community.  He inspires many and is a ray of hope in our world.  Good job, Tim.

He has an awesome quote in there, “what do you want your dash to represent?”  This quote is important for all of us to think about.  He was saying that each of our tombstones will have the year we were born and then will have the year we died.  In between these numbers will be a dash.  The dash represents the years of our life.  “What do you want your dash to represent?” is really asking the question “What is your life all about?”  That’s why I posted this video.  It’s a great question to ask yourself.  Are you a man of great integrity and character?  Are you a man of virtue?  A you a holy and devoted man?  Are you constantly trying to get better?  Are you constantly trying to grow?  What sort of legacy are you leaving?  If yes, your dash will represent greatness.  If not, it may represent something else.

This would be a great video and topic to segment into another post about “cultural manliness”, but that’ll have to wait.

TrueMan up!

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