Ask an Expert – Relationship with God, No Church?

My latest Ask an Expert response on iibloom.com:

QUESTION: Can I have a relationship with God without going to Church?

ANSWER: I know this question is on the hearts and minds of lots of folks, so thanks for stepping out and asking it. The short answer is, yes, you can have a relationship with God without going to Church. After all, He created you! However, that relationship is going to be a bad one. Think about it this way… imagine that you’re married and that you and your spouse have completely opposite schedules. You never talk, you never see each other. You never go on dates, you don’t snuggle at night and you never eat a meal together. What kind of marriage are you going to have? Not a good one. I DON’T think this is what you’re getting at.

Imagine now that you never become intimate with your spouse, that you never share or participate in their sacrifice for you. Imagine that you have barriers between you and your spouse that eliminate the ability to fully understand each other. What kind of marriage is this? An even worse marriage than the other. This, I think, IS what you’re getting at!

“Can I have a relationship with God without going to church?” Being in relationship with God is about much more than simply going to church. Being in relationship with God is about being involved in His life. God the Father sent His only Son, Jesus, to take on human flesh. Once Jesus became man, He gave fully of Himself in a sacrificial way. This sacrifice is what we celebrate at Mass, and is the “source and summit” of our faith. This sacrifice is The Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar, the Eucharist! When we receive Jesus in the Eucharist, we are more intimately connected with Him than at any other time in our lives. There is no other single way to be more closely related to Him than this! He dwells in us, physically, after we receive Him. What a great honor and privilege!!! 

Previously, I stated that you could have a relationship with God without going to Church. I don’t actually believe that. In order to be in relationship, which means to be connected to someone else, you have to participate in their life. Jesus gave His all for His bride, the Church. His life was service to His spouse. If we’re going to be in relationship with Him, we have to participate in the life of the Church, the bride of Christ.

[If you read in the Gospel of John, Chapter 6, Christ institutes the Eucharist. These passages are vital for a Catholic understanding of what Christ did on the cross for us.]

Tuesdays with Daddy – Discipline

When I stay home with my girls on Tuesdays, I know that it’s vital that I stay consistent with my discipline techniques.  My daughters have learned to not push their luck with me, as they know that I’m not going to back down from the standard I have set for them and will, when necessary, continue placing them in time out, removing their toys, or even have the occasional stern “talkin’ to”.  This isn’t simply a finger-waging session, telling them how bad they are.  My children are great, but sometimes they need a loving nudge to make better decisions.  In order for my discipline techniques to be effective, my “Daddy discipline” must already be in place so that I can stay consistent.  Discipline, used in two different senses here… confusing.  What I mean by my discipline techniques, is the set of expectations and consequences that I’ve set in place, with my wife, for my children.  -Let’s call this discipline “the rules”-.  What I mean by my Daddy discipline, in this case, is my personal commitment (self-discipline) to remaining true to what I know is the best method of parenting, resulting in the best formation and development for my children. -Let’s call this discipline “the preparation”-.  Both distinctions are crucial for the welfare of my children.  [In both cases, the theological virtue of charity must be central.]

There is a close relation to the two definitions here, and is important for us as children of God.  He wholeheartedly wants what is best for His children.  God the Father also has a set of expectations for us, a standard that He desires to see His children fulfill (the rules).  We should know that God, our Heavenly Father, is going to remain true to his “method of parenting” and simply wants what is best for our formation and development (the preparation).  The problem, I believe, is that we aren’t that worried about “time outs”, and that honestly, we don’t listen when He gives us a stern “talkin’ to”.  Maybe it’s because we can’t see the reward with our eyes.  Maybe we don’t know how to listen to the voice of God.  Maybe it’s because we aren’t smart enough to follow the path of those who have successfully gone before us.  I’m not really sure, but I think it has something to do, at least in part, with our discipline.

The other day, I wrote about discipline in one of my Super Bowl articles.  (7 Days of Super Bowl Stuff -SBXLIV- Day 5 “Discipline”).  Athletes have, even at the most basic level, a certain amount of discipline that is a responsibility that comes along with playing a sport.  They practice, workout, study the game and then perform.  In this previous article, I wrote about the similarities between being disciplined as an athlete to being disciplined in our spiritual lives.  In today’s article, I hope I show the importance of discipline in our lives, both discipline in the form of a set of expectations of how we live as well as discipline in the daily, practical applications in our lives.  Becoming and remaining disciplined is difficult, but attainable.  Discipline in the little things makes us disciplined in the big things.

Man up!