What We Do

TrueManhood Men’s Ministry is a Catholic ministry for men who want to grow in authentic masculinity while following the TrueMan… Jesus Christ!  TrueManhood is operated by Dave DiNuzzo Sr. who founded the ministry in 2008 in an attempt to help men dive into what it really means to be a man. We work to fight the culture by doing the following:

What We Do: #1 – Teach Virtue! #2 – Fight Porn!  #3 – Fight “Cultural Manliness”.

How We Do It: Dave does 1, 2, & 3 above in a variety of ways.  He puts on men’s retreats, delivers talks at men’s conferences and other venues, operates “The TrueManhood Podcast”, is frequently on Catholic radio, writes blogs and books, is in the occasional video, and spreads a positive masculine message on social media.

Thanks for your support!  To book Dave for your next event, please email us at Info@TrueManhood.com.  Click the social media links on the right to follow, like, subscribe, and share!

WELCOME

Welcome to TrueManhood.com – the Home of TrueManhood Catholic Men’s Ministry. Dave DiNuzzo Sr. founded TrueManhood in 2008 as a way to help men dive into what it truly means to be authentically masculine. What we hope you find here is a source of inspiration to live as a TrueMan, as well as some formation and education to help you overcome your weaknesses and live virtue!

Please note that Dave continues to struggle with health issues related to his battle with COVID. He is not currently traveling to speak or organize retreats but hopes that the site still provides resources and encouragement for men everywhere.

Re-Post: The Miracle Baby (7 Years Later)

***This is a re-post, originally from February 9, 2011.***

With great pride, and extreme joy, I write this post about my first son, David Walter DiNuzzo Jr.  I pray that the story of his journey from womb to world is inspiring, faith-sharpening and encouraging for all those read it.

The starting point of this story is ambiguous to me, because I believe that to successfully trace the steps back far enough we have to go way back into my past.  I don’t want to prolong the story here, so I’ll skip those past details for now and move right into this most blessed and miraculous story.

On the last Sunday in January 2011, my wife Catherine, now thirty-nine weeks and one day pregnant (why do they jip women out of the 10th month?  40 weeks, which is full term, is 10 months!) noticed some significant bleeding.  Concerned for what this might mean, we went into the hospital’s triage area.  This was visit #4 to triage for this pregnancy.  Nothing came of this visit because the baby sounded great on the monitor and it appeared that the bleeding had subsided.  Later the same day, Catherine noticed that the bleeding had begun again.  Again, we made our way into triage and this time, received an ultrasound.  Trip #5.  The ultrasound hoped to determine, and possibly pinpoint, the source of the blood.  The ultrasound was unsuccessful.  We returned home, exhausted and concerned.  Catherine had an incredibly rough night of sleep, thanks to the severe contractions she was experiencing.  On Monday, she woke up to much more bleeding and a heightened amount of contractions.  Throughout all of this, Catherine remained calm and purposeful, desiring to give our baby the best start possible.  I love her for that, amidst a million other reasons.

After speaking with our CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife), we decided to head to the office for a check.  There, again, nothing could be determined, especially the cause of the bleeding.  Because of the ambiguity, it was decided that labor needed to be induced.  Although we are all-for natural, drug-free labors and births, we knew we had to secede here and do what was best for our boy.  We headed to the hospital.  Once we arrived and got settled (yeah, right), the drugs were administered and shortly thereafter, Catherine began to labor and WOW! she was doing incredible.  She was being a champ, doing better than I had ever seen her do previously.  After some time in labor, Catherine sensed that something was wrong.  She felt something coming, but knew it wasn’t the baby.  I suggested that our CNM check her.  While performing the check, our CNM Sharon (an incredible woman) noticed the problem – a prolapsed umbilical cord.  This means that the cord was going to be birthed first, which would have caused immediate rupture of the cord, as the head would have put immense pressure on the cord as it pressed against the cervix.  Next would have been loss of blood flow and oxygen, which would have been certain death for our son, not to mention potential death for my wife from blood loss through internal bleeding.

Thanks to quick thinking, solid understanding of the situation, as well as some divine intervention, Sharon actually kept Dave Jr.’s head from pressing on the cord anymore than it already had been.  As she kept pressure on his head, away from the birth canal, she hopped up on the gurney and rode all the way into the operating room and remained in that position until the crash c-section was performed and Dave Jr. was out.  (From the time Sharon checked Catherine until the time Dave Jr. was out was a total of only four and a half minutes.  Incredible.)  At this point, I was unable to be in the operating room.  This was quite difficult and a very telling time for me.  (I’ll explain that more below.)

Fast forward… Sharon came out and told me that Catherine was doing fine.  She was still under, because of the general anesthesia, and would be under and then quite groggy for a decent amount of time.  Then she broke the news to me about Dave Jr.  He wasn’t breathing and had a heart beat of around 40 beats per minute.  He was still in the operating room, and I was anxiously waiting to see him wheeled out.  He had to be resuscitated with CPR and intubated.  He was given a shot of epinephrine to the heart, and was shocked twice with the paddles.  He was without oxygen for approx 4-6 minutes.  A respiratory nurse was “bagging” him, and they finally wheeled him out and headed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).  About a minute later, I was allowed into the NICU.  I witnessed as a team of nurses and doctors performed various procedures on him, including placing IV feeding tubes into his belly button (through the remaining umbilical cord stump) and placing him on a ventilator.

Initial discussions of Dave Jr.’s time in the NICU were anywhere from one to two weeks or even more.  It was amazing that Dave Jr. made it, many babies don’t, let alone what happened next.  Almost immediately, Dave Jr.’s body color turned to a perfect pinkish tone.  He began to kick and punch.  His heart rate was regulating itself.  His breathing was getting much better and he was extubated.  (I actually witnessed him reach up with his fingers and pull the nasal tube out himself!)  He was only on the ventilator about an hour and a half.  His vital signs were great, his organ function was all normal and he was regulating his own temperature.  Then, he began to eat normally and perform normal bowel functions.  Everything was coming into place.  What he was showing is, what I believe, his will and determination that will take him very far in life.  It matters not that he was without oxygen.  It matters not that he was close to death.  What matters is that he is here with us now and that God has great things in store for him.  I truly believe that he will have an incredibly abundant life and that his witness to the precious nature of life will speak volumes to those he comes in contact with.

My time in waiting, as I mentioned above, was very telling for me.  It showed me a bit of who I am and what I’m made of.  The situation was chaotic and troubling.  I was unable to help, unable to assist the doctor, the nurses, my wife or son.  As I waited, alone, for what seemed like hours, I could hear nurses and doctors, but never heard a baby crying.  I knew it wasn’t a good situation.  I had to decide what I was going to do.  I could have denied what was happening, believing some other sort of (un)reality.  I could have panicked.  I could have thought the worst was going to happen.  I could have been overly emotional.  I could have placed blame.  I could have gotten angry.  (I could have gotten angry and placed blame on God.)  I could have struggled with my faith.  I didn’t do any of that.  I chose something different.  I chose to pray.  I chose to surrender.  I chose to relinquish any and all control that I thought I may have had at some point or another.  I chose to trust.  I placed all that I needed, all that I cared about, all that I hoped for, all that I worried about at the foot of the cross.  I gave it to Him.  I asked Him to give me strength.  I trusted and my faith prevailed.

I figured that if I wavered, or if I lost trust in God, my Creator, that the last many years of my life would be for not.  That everything I’ve said, prayed, preached, wrote, spoke or posted would be a contradiction to what I actually believe.  I would have to quit my ministry job and move on to something else.  I would not be the TrueMan I hope and strive to be.

Instead, I remained strong.  I’m proud to say that!  I didn’t waver.  I didn’t lose trust.  I held on to everything that I have learned, prayed about, desired and knew that was in me.  So when Sharon came out to tell me what was going on, before I knew that Catherine and Dave Jr. were okay, I could honestly look at her and tell her that I was okay.  She was very concerned for me, assuming that I would really be struggling.  I wasn’t, I let my faith in God’s plan comfort me.  I put my emotions in check and responded reasonably and rationally.  Although we haven’t spoken about it much lately, virtue is the key… it is what got me through.  I don’t profess to have any of the cardinal virtues, but I believe that I have the virtue of faith.  I feel blessed to have that virtue and even more blessed that my wife and son are alive and well.

Here’s to my little TrueMan – TrueMan up!

***UPDATE: This re-post is being written in February 2018… 7 years after Dave Jr. was born.  He defied all the odds, and is an incredible young man.  He functions at an incredibly high level, excels at school, is a multi-sport all-star athlete, and a very kind and generous little soul.  He is a gentleman, and professes to want to be a priest when he grows up!

Los Levantadores – A Culture of Fit, Hard-working Men

I recently watched an awesome documentary put out by Rogue Fitness titled “Levantadores – The Basque Strongman.”  It’s only about 30 minutes – I think it’s well worth your time.

My good friend and fellow strongman Jared Zimmerer posted about it and shared many good thoughts (click this link or the photo above for his post), so I’m going to point you to his post instead of simply repeating everything he’s already said.  What I will write about to catch your attention are the following points:

1. I am highly intrigued by the father-son relationships that take place in this culture of the Levantadores.  The fathers pass on the lifestyle of being a strongman, which means much more than simply how much a man can lift.
2. These men are not only strong, they are determined, exude perseverance, and are faithful.  Without knowing these men personally, able to watch them, and judge their daily actions, it’s clear to me that they are tending towards virtue.
3. At the heart of this culture is faith and family.
4. Their culture isn’t self-serving or self-centered… they are united in common bond, for the greater good, and the improvement of one another.
5. Their strength is incredible.
6. Their fitness is functional, meaning that it’s usable and they use it!  This is what I strive for with my workouts through CrossFit.  Functional fitness for a healthy lifestyle.

Here’s the video.  Enjoy!

After you watch the documentary, please send me your thoughts on social media comments or via email. Dave@TrueManhood.com.

TrueMan up!

Living Balance? No thanks, I’ll stick with Order.

A lie flying around in our culture – one that is very prevalent, and common-language for many – is the encouragement to “Live a balanced life.” (or other variations of it.)  It’s sneaky in the way that it is extremely mainstream while still flying under the radar.  It’s subtle, yet dangerous.  I’ll explain.

Living balance is the commonly held idea that — if a person does things in a balanced way, or at least in a way that doesn’t emphasize something too much or too little, that he’ll be living rightly.   And thus, by living rightly, he will become happy.  If everything in a person’s life is “just right”, and nothing tips the scales one way or the other, the balance they experience will make all things right.  —  There are many problems with this idea.  First, living balance isn’t rooted in anything tangible, ie: what does ‘balance’ even mean?  Doing merely what I want to do (balance), even if in a moderate fashion, doesn’t mean that I’m doing what I ought to do (order.)  What we ought to be doing, regardless of who we are or what our state in life may be, is to live virtue.  Living virtue allows us “not only to do good acts, but to give the best of our self.”  (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1803.)  Giving the best of myself is what I ought to do.

The “balance lie” would state that as long as the individual isn’t negating some aspect of his life, or at least not too much, he can do each activity in a balanced fashion.  The truth about order is that, I’m called to living a life that is worth the very best.  Choosing activities merely because I want to do them, isn’t necessarily pointing me towards that very best.  Depending on what activities I’m doing, they may or may not be evil in-and-of-themselves, yet they may not be quite what I ought to be doing.  Here, the question must go deeper (again, more than simply what I want to do) and ask the question, do I possess the virtue of temperance?  Am I exercising justice?  What about fortitude?  Am I living prudently?  Are my actions pointing towards charity?  In attempting, however, to live virtue and do the greatest good, I’m challenged to order those things, along with others in my life, so that ultimately, I’m able to possess the virtues and live as closely to the example set by Christ as possible.

Here’s a video where I explain this idea a bit further.  Live order.

TrueMan up!

Learn It, Then Earn It (For Dads)

Dear Fellow Fathers,

There’s a difference between maleness and manliness.  A person is a male by virtue of his sex (gender), his DNA.  A male is not a man simply because of his age, his profession, his marital status, whether or not he’s a virgin, what he owns, or any other arbitrary factor.  A male becomes a man when his life is manly.  What is manliness?  Virtue.  This is one of the 3 main tenants of TrueManhood.com – nothing new for the readership.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church, in paragraph 1803, states that virtue is “the habitual and firm disposition to do the good.”  The CCC clarifies that virtue is an action… doing… a verb.  So when does a male become a man?  When he does good.  You’re a male reading this… are you a man or are you simply a male?

Thankfully, with the definition that the Church gives us, we don’t have to wonder whether or not a male is a man, which means that we don’t have to wonder whether or not our sons (or the males interested in our daughters) are men.  It’s the benchmark by which we “grade” them.  When we know that, we can move forward to help these males continue to live in a manly way.  This brings me to my point…

Manliness isn’t given, manliness is earned.  Before something can really be earned, someone must know what they are earning, thus males must first learn what manliness is before they can earn it.  As fathers, it is our responsibility to not only live out manliness (ie: virtue) but to teach it.  The world gives various versions of counterfeit manliness for our boys to shoot for (search “Cultural Manliness” on this site for more on the world’s main version) and if we don’t teach them what authentic masculinity is, their only option is the world’s option.

The world’s option isn’t an option for me.  It’s not an option for my son, Dave Jr.  It’s not an option for my daughters Lily, Emma, and Maria.  The world’s option is a lie.

Let’s work together as Catholic fathers to teach our children (male and female) what masculinity is.  If you ever wonder, just refer back to the Catechism, to TrueManhood.com, or to the “Guide to Virtue” found on my site.  More to follow on dads teaching their sons what TrueManhood is all about.

TrueMan up!

A TrueMan’s Marriage – Happy 50th Dad & Mom!

I’ve had a front row seat to one of the greatest marriages in the history of time.  Today, my parents celebrate 50 years of marriage!  A tremendous feat!  I’m extremely proud of my parents and want to publicly acknowledge their love, their sacrifice, and their unfailing commitment.  You make me better, you aid my marriage, and I am so grateful for you.

I’ve written (and moreso, spoken) about my Dad on many occasions.  He’s an amazing man, and is/was a leading example for me in my pursuit of TrueManhood.  He has tons of characteristics that I love and admire, and I wouldn’t be half the man I am today if it wasn’t for him.  Here are some of the major highlights:

• My Father loves my Mother unconditionally; everything he does is directly related to my Mother’s well-being, her concerns, her likes, her desires.  His example of how a man cherishes his wife is second to none. #awesomehusband
• My Father serves my Mother unfailingly.  For the entirety of their marriage, my Father has worked his tail off so that my Mother could have safety, security, comfort, and so that she would be able to do what she was created for. #whenamanlovesawoman
• My Father is the consumate gentleman.  As a child, the example of being a gentleman was constant from my Father.  My virtues related to being a gentleman (mostly in the area of Justice) is 100% correlated to my Father’s behavior and high standards. #gentleman
• My Father cherishes all women.  Sincerely, my Father has a heart of service towards the fairer-sex… never failing to serve a female, no matter what the need may be.  He’s always polite, always charitable, always deferent to the women he encounters.  I cannot recall, even once, when I’ve seen my Father choose himself over a woman.  He has always cherished my aunts and female cousins (there were far fewer of them than male cousins), and treated every female stranger with the utmost respect.  #womenarethecrownofcreation
• My Father is a hard worker.  Still today in his 70’s, with both knees repaired and a major back surgery, my Father does his own maintenance on his house, takes care of his vehicles himself, serves in numerous ways at his parish, helps me and my brothers, and serves on a non-profit board.  The spirit of our bluecollar family, passed down from generation to generation, comes to me from him.  #hardworker

I would also be remiss, especially on this most somber of days for America (9/11), if I didn’t mention my Father’s 30-year career serving our country as an enlisted serviceman in the United States Air Force.  30 years!  Talk about dedication.

My Mother – I certainly don’t want to leave my Mother out of the conversation… and in fact, I couldn’t talk about my Father without talking about my Mother as well.  She is a huge part of my Father’s character.  From the moment they met, my Mother has challenged my Father to be who he is.  She brings the best out of him, and holds him to the very highest of standards.  It wouldn’t be a shock to tell you that their complementarity is so perfect that they make each other more holy; the point of marriage!  The perfect way that my Mother fits my Father, and returns his love and service with more love and service, is a testament to her devotion and care for him.  They truly are the perfect spouses for one another.

Jesus had Joseph and Mary – the Holy Family.  I have Tony and Charlene – great examples of love, service, dedication, and faithfulness.  Thanks Dad and Mom – Happy Anniversary!

TrueMan up!

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