Celebrity Infidelity Scandals Linked to Pornography?

Here’s my latest article from iibloom.com…

There has been a great deal of drama in the tabloid news lately about celebrities engaging in infidelity. Almost every show, whether it be on cable, radio or online, has at least mentioned these stories, namely the Tiger Woods saga and the Jesse James saga. Society is caught up in the drama, wanting to know each and every piece to the puzzle. Society is enamored by the infidelity of these men, men who have an incredible scope of influence. 

The interesting aspect to these stories is that these men seemed to “have it all,” yet they show us that they are incredibly empty inside. These men had power, influence, riches, everything and anything money could buy, respected corporate endorsements, celebrity status, beautiful children and incredible wives; what was missing that they had to act out in sexual infidelity? I will venture a possible scenario: could it be that these men have/had an addiction to pornography? This assertion may seem off-base and farfetched at first glance, so please allow me to explain.

When a man has an addiction to pornography, his body becomes programmed to search out the next sexual-fix, similar to someone who is addicted to a chemical drug. As this man continues to ascertain more and more fixes, he becomes desensitized to “the little things” and desires more and more, lowering his guard and accepting acts, thoughts and/or fantasies that he may once have been opposed to. The only way to fulfill these desires is to act on them, which may lead to promiscuity, secrecy, infidelity and increased sexual behavior. At the heart of an addiction to pornography is selfishness, a selfishness that disregards responsibility, relationships and ultimately, God. Could it be, then, that Tiger and Jesse were involved in the use of pornography leading up to and during their marriages, which includes their sexual exploits?

It’s not the same for every man…

Simply being a celebrity does not mean that someone is a good role model. So often in society, the media portrays men and women of celebrity stature to be role models. The portrayal seemingly stems from their time in the limelight. If people are interested in you, then obviously you are qualified to be a role model. (Wrong.) The more someone is discussed on TMZ, Extra or YouTube, the more their proverbial stock rises. A celebrity’s stock may rise because they just won an award for a great role in a movie, or because they were just awarded MVP of their sport, or possibly because of a charity event they sponsored that raised money for a worthy cause. However, a celebrity’s stock may also rise if they’ve been arrested, are getting a divorce or have just entered “rehab.”

The scope of influence that a celebrity has, especially celebrities like Tiger Woods and Jesse James, is astronomical. Young children, and even grown men, alter their lifestyles to be more like these kinds of guys, all because their lifestyles look glamorous. When the glamour fades away, and the truth is exposed, we see clearly the emptiness and hurt that remains.

Cultural Manliness Catches Up With You

In this video, Tiger Woods issues a public apology for his actions.  Tiger was living a life of cultural manliness, living for money, power, sex and stuff.  It caught up with him, as it does every man who lives it.  His words ring true… he must show his remorse and his changed way of life not by speaking, but by his actions.  It appears to me, an untrained eye, that he is sincere.  He appears nervous and timid, and obviously, when you read a speech from paper, your demeanor is different than when you speak from the heart.  I don’t know that he’ll back up what he says, but I think that his tenacity and determination to be the best, which has made him so successful in golf and business, will aid him in succeeding in this journey towards being a leader, a role model, a good husband and an engaged, active and loving father.

Note: Tiger speaks about Buddhism towards the end of this clip.  Buddhism doesn’t hold the answers to life, however, Tiger is grasping for truth and something to guide him in life.  If I had the chance to speak with Tiger, I would challenge him to live a life for Christ, a life filled with joy, happiness and fulfillment.  If you can’t view the clip, click HERE.

Wood’s words are merely words, yet, he’s right.  He needs to live a life of integrity.  He let people down, and must make amends.  He led people, especially children, astray.  He knows that he needs help, and seems intent to continue to seek guidance and counseling.

I wish Tiger all the best.  “To whom much is given, much is expected.”

Man up!

No Idea Where to Take It

Since my first post about Tiger (nine days ago), an incredible amount of information has surfaced in this story.  Obviously, we’ve all seen or heard at least some details.  At this point, I have no idea where to take it.  There’s so much to talk about, I don’t care to get into it.  To me, Tiger has become another Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears/A-Rod/John&Kate+8 tabloid star.  In light of this, I probably won’t blog more about him or this situation unless something really sticks out to me.

In response to a comment I received, I’d like to clear up a few things.  Here is the comment:

While I certainly do not condone his behavior, I think you are being a bit judgmental – especially when you state that “I won’t forget.” You are carrying a grudge against him and seem as though you are unwilling to forgive him for his transgressions. Hate the sin, not the sinner.

Tiger is at a low point in his life. He obviously has some major problems that he needs to deal with. On the news this morning, I heard reports of even more affairs and a possible addiction to pain killers.

Advent is a time of forgiveness and repentance. We need to forgive him. Tiger needs to repent. Pray that he understands the ramifications of his actions and that he is able to deal with these issues head on (repent).

I’ve discussed the topic of “judgmental” before, but I’ll clear up the confusion.  Typically, the term ‘judgmental’ is misused in our society.  Although I may receive some flack for this, to be judgmental is good… we judge actions of individuals to determine whether or not they would be good friends.  As a parent, I judge the actions of individuals to determine whether or not they can have contact with my children.  We judge decisions, records and work-ethic of political figures to determine whether or not we should vote for them.  We judge moral decisions.  We judge a great deal of things.  In this case, I was judging Tiger’s actions.  The confusion, I believe, comes when judgmental is used in place of “condemning”.  When we condemn others, we put ourselves in the place of Christ, taking the position of “you’re going to hell because of…”.  Condemning others is not our place, nor will it ever be.  Judgment is a virtue, in fact, you can read about it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1806, under the heading of Prudence.

I’m not “unwilling to forgive” Tiger, nor am I carrying a grudge.  My point in the previous post about Tiger was that he is in the lime light and can’t simply turn that off because he made some mistakes.  His actions (morally right, wrong or indifferent) will have lasting effects on society.  You may say I’m stretching it here, but there will be men who think to themselves, and some who actually say the words out loud, “Tiger did it, it’s okay for me to do it too”.  His influence is (was) too powerful for that not to happen.

Also mentioned was the topic of forgiveness.  Yes, we are in Advent; it’s not a time of forgiveness or repentance, as stated in the comment.  Advent is a time of preparation and expectancy for the coming birth of the Christ child.  So, let’s look at this in the context of the Tiger situation, how does Advent play a role in how we look at everything?  First off, it’s not my place to forgive him, he has not trespassed against me… that’s for God and Tiger’s wife Elin.  Next, it was necessary that Jesus came into this world, to unite us to the Father because of our failings.  Our (mankind’s) sins were so grave that God Himself HAD to take human form, lowering Himself to human status, in order to redeem us.  Tiger, the same as all of us, needs God’s grace, His forgiveness and His mercy.  In this time of suffering and struggle for Tiger, I wish him healing.  I pray for a conversion of his soul.  Tiger obviously needs God, he might not know it yet, but he needs him.  And yes, you’re right, “hate the sin, love the sinner”.

I highly recommend that we all take a break from this tabloid saga and concentrate on more important things, like manning up!

Man up!

“Maybe NOT ‘Just Do It’ Like Nike Says”

If you’re not familiar with the “world’s greatest athlete” Tiger Woods, you have probably been living under a rock for the past 10 years or so.  Actually, you were probably dead under that rock.  Tiger, besides being an incredible, dominating force on the golf course, is highly endorsed by corporate sponsors.  Living the good life, you could say.  (Living the “cultural manliness” life, I would say.)

Recently, Tiger has been in the news everyday, and not just the sports news.  He’s been on every show that has anyone talking on it… TV, online, radio.  Literally, ever single show.  And don’t forget the newspapers, magazines and tabloids.  He’s been in the news because of some very poor decisions he’s made.  Those decisions finally caught up with him and now the “$#!) is hitting the fan”, as they say.  Tiger was “caught” by his wife in an affair, details of which are still speculation and may never become known fact in full.  What is known is some of Tiger’s interaction with a NY cocktail waitress… listen in to Tiger’s voicemail as he attempts to grovel his way out of his mistakes.  Here’s a video about this whole mess, please excuse the celebrity gossip feel and images…

Yesterday at the gym, I watched SportsCenter on ESPN and quite honestly, I was very disappointed in the coverage and even more so on the comments from Tiger’s golf colleagues – except Jesper Parnevik.  Parnevik and his wife set up Tiger and Tiger’s wife, Elin, and now, Parnevik is regretting his match-making.  He said some pretty impressive statements that don’t typically come out in the news.  I like what he had to say.  Check him out in this video clip.

One of the things that every show seems to harp on is whether or not this is any of our business, and they’ve continually reported that Tiger has requested privacy for himself and his family.  Let’s make it clear, you can’t separate the “good life”, the lime-light, the sponsorships and endorsements and then also expect the world to look the other way when you “make transgressions against your family” (quoting Tiger himself).  The whole world knows your business and that’s the way you liked it.  Just because you messed up, it doesn’t mean they’re going to stop following you.  Tiger, you asked for it, and no, the world isn’t going to give you privacy.  When you have the influence you have on  the world, you can’t take that responsibility lightly, as it appears you have.  Simply because you ask for privacy, doesn’t mean that you deserve it.  One golfer, Rocco Mediate (who one time had a 19-hole playoff with Tiger) said that “he simply made a mistake like the rest of the world, we all need to get over it.”  Mr. Mediate – the rest of the world doesn’t cheat on their spouses, only cheaters do.

Men and boys all over the world emulate you, Tiger.  They buy your products, dress like you, play your video games, hit your Nike golf balls.  They drive your Buick, they drink your “G”, they are in love with you.  You blew it and you blew it big time.  You were the world’s greatest athlete, a husband and father and now, you’re just another cheating deadbeat.  I’m with Jesper, I’ve lost all respect for you.  I know the world will probably forget about this in time and you’ll go back to being the world’s favorite (sort of like A-Rod, Kobe and others who have cheated and gone on to be world champions in their sports, with continuing success and more corporate sponsorships.)  I won’t forget Tiger, and a lot of other people won’t either.  You blew it.  You are not a TrueMan.

Man up!