Dynamic, Outdoor, Experiential

Men, if you’re looking for a great retreat experience and want to be real with yourself (about life, relationships, work, faith, sin, struggles, victories and a whole lot more) and with other Catholic men, then “Into the Wild” is the retreat for you!  Into the Wild (ITW) is the most dynamic retreat experience for men in the Church today.  Period.

We see all kinds of men on ITWs… young, old, rich, poor, fathers and sons and everything in between.  Outdoorsmen, and men who have never been in the wilderness.  Men who are proficient with tools, weapons and outdoor living and men who don’t know the first thing about any of that.  In the end, the men learn from one another and share their skills and talents to build one another up.

August 11-14 at Hickory Run State Park, Pocono Mtns of PA (register by Aug. 4)

September 8-11 at Raccoon Creek State Park, near Pittsburgh, PA

October 13-16 at Allegany State Park, near Buffalo, NY

October 27-30 at Pocahontas State Park, near Richmond, VA

The weekend is Eucharist-centered… because without Christ, we are nothing.  Christ the King is our guide and our model… we are His men.  Every day (Thurs evening through Sunday mid-day) includes Mass, perpetual Adoration, prayer and the Rosary as well as activities directly associated with being leaders, protectors and providers.  A retreat chaplain is with us on each weekend to celebrate the Sacraments and offer spiritual guidance.  (For ITW-Pittsburgh, Bishop David Zubik will be joining us again for a fire-side Q&A and for Confessions.)  Each day also includes activities/skill training and faith in a masculine modality.  We don’t sit around all day and listen to talks (we have one short talk a day)… we are active the entire weekend!  Prepare to be tired yet invigorated!  Overall, men experience something like never before; an experience unique and satisfying, as well as encouraging and fruitful in the lives of the men who attend.

Whether we’re orienteering, sitting around a campfire talking, praying, shooting, hiking, celebrating Mass, listening to a talk or building something, we are renewed and excited about our faith once again!  Come check it out… you won’t be sorry.  Oh yeah, and since we have a 5-star chef on the weekends, we eat really really really well!

For more info, to register and/or to watch the 10-minute ITW video, click www.IntoTheWildWeekend.com.

TrueMan up!

What Makes Porn So Bad?!

So last post (Porn Gone Mobile) I said that I would talk about why porn is so bad.  The totality of the answer can’t fit into this post, so here’s what I’ve got for you today.  A great number of people, even those who do not currently look at, use, buy or sell porn, believe that there is nothing wrong with porn.  This is a sign of a culture that has completely lost its moral compass.  Not only has the moral compass been lost, it has since been replaced with a compass (better stated as a philosophy) that is so far from the truth that it actually denies that absolute truth exists!  This philosophy… moral relativism.  Relativism states that all things are relative.  If you really believe that the composition of the stuff that makes up the ocean is not H2O, but actually H3O7, then in relativism, H3O7 is “truth for you”.

Sure, that’s a silly example, but it can be extended onto any philosophical issue… any issue related to morals, ethics, virtue, choices, life, death… you name it.  You may believe that abortion isn’t murder of a human life, but that doesn’t make your belief true.  The problem with moral relativism is, well, everything.  It denies the absolute truth and leaves everything for the individual to determine.  Not a good place to start.  If relativism is true, then what Christ did on the cross doesn’t matter.  If relativism is true, then God isn’t the ‘unmoved Mover’.  If relativism is true, then there’s no definition to what manliness is.  So…

That brings us back to porn and why it IS so bad.  It’s not that porn is only bad for me and for some other select group of people.  It’s not that I’m ‘trying to force my morality on someone’.  It’s not that only certain kinds of porn are bad.  It’s all intrinsically evil.  Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2354, states: “It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act… It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants… It is a grave offense.”  The production of, distribution of and/or the use of pornography damages the individual, causing them to enter into mortal sin, a total turning away from God.  It is a lie.  It is repulsive.

On another note, porn is intrinsically evil because it destroys our brain’s ability to function properly.  When porn is viewed/used, a chemical bond is created.  The chemical involved is a hormone, called oxytocin.  Oxytocin exists in both males and females.  One of the most commonly known occurrences of oxytocin is in child birth.  It is one of the bonding agents between a mother and a newborn child – a very powerful bond.  Oxytocin is also released in sexual orgasm, thus creating a bond.  When the bond is based on a fantasy, ie porn, the bond is incredibly detrimental.  This false bond distorts the understanding of the sexual act.  Once the distorted bond is in place, often times, the bond continues to deteriorate.  Many men choose to allow this bond into their life and then wonder why real intimacy and actual giving of oneself in marriage is so difficult.

If you haven’t been exposed to porn, I urge you to do everything in your power to stay away from it.  Porn is just like meth… it only takes one time.  If you have been exposed to porn, it will continue to bond you to the fantasy, to the sexual act, to the addiction.  If you’re a single man using porn, the distorted bond will damage your relationships, it will be a stumbling block to finding the right spouse, it will become your motivation.  If/When you get married, it will cause you to be selfish in regards to intimacy with your wife, not to mention in day-to-day activities and interactions.  If you’re a married man using porn, I’m almost 100% certain that the intimacy with your wife is distorted by your addiction.  Not only does it distort your relationship with your wife, it distorts the relationship you have with your children, friends and co-workers.

The good news, as stated before many times, is that freedom from porn exists!  I’m walking proof.  I had these distortions in my life.  It takes a ton of hard work to get over them, as well as daily prayer, the Sacraments and God’s grace.  You can do it!  Get rid of the porn today!

TrueMan up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Father’s Edition

To all the men who are fathers… today’s “Tuesdays with Daddy” is for you.  Unfortunately, my opportunity to be home with my girls on Tuesdays will be coming to an end in about a month.  I thought it would be a good idea to put forth a challenge to all the dads out there, to keep you thinking, to keep you purposeful in your parenting.  Read over these questions and be honest with yourself about the answers.  If something’s not up to par, make a change today.  I believe that we are all on a journey towards being the best father that we can be.  The journey requires us to always be moving forward, always toward being better.

• Do you tell your children, not just everyday, but every chance you have, that you love them?
• Do your actions match up with your words?
• Do you love your wife?
• Does your love (action!) match up with your “I love yous”?
• Do your children see you loving your wife?
• Do your children have a healthy and realistic understanding of love, or is it what they see on television, in movies and online?
• Do you prioritize your life well?  Or do you give one (or more) part more attention and neglect the other things you ought to be doing?
• Are you addicted to anything?  Porn?  Alcohol?  ESPN?  Work? etc.
• Are you working to overcome your addiction?  (Ask me if you need resources… Dave@TrueManhood.com)
• Do you strive to grow in virtue?
• Are you faithful to a daily prayer life?  To a Sacramental life?
• Do your children know that you pray?
• Do you pray with your children everyday?
• Are you actively involved in the spiritual formation of your children daily?
• Do you pass on responsibilities and place them on your wife and/or childcare provider?
• Do you rejoice in your children?
• What else do you need to work on?

Man up!

“Our lives change when our habits change.”  - Matthew Kelly

7 Days of Super Bowl Stuff -SBXLIV- Day 3 “Tenacity”

Tenacity… quite possibly one of the most important characteristics of a football player.  Being tenacious means that you hold fast to something, that you’re stubborn and obstinate.  Typically, in football, tenacity refers to winning.  It refers to the heart of a player, a heart that never gives up, never gives in.  A tenacious player will do anything and everything to win.  He’ll play beyond his body’s abilities, when he’s worn down, tired, beaten up.  Tenacity is a quality that a football player must possess because everyone else on the field, especially on the other team, is playing with a tenacity that won’t quit.

How tenacious are you in your faith journey?  Do you hold fast to something?  Do you hold fast to the Gospel Truth?  Are you stubborn about your prayer life?  Do you live the truths of the faith out obstinately?  The other team, Satan’s team, is tenacious in their beliefs.  His team is stubborn and obstinate.  If you come into your “faith game” weak, they’ll tear you apart.  Your tenacity must outweigh theirs.  Your tenacity  must be so overpowering that they can’t even stand to be in the same room as you.  The demons in our lives hate it, they literally hate, when we’re striving for holiness in Jesus Christ.  Being tenacious about the journey toward holiness will send them into a rage and they’ll fight even harder against you.  Your tenacity must continue to increase.  Increase it by praying daily, receiving the Sacraments and keeping your eyes on the prize!

This Sunday, the Colts and the Saints are going to be playing with incredible tenacity.  In the end, I believe the winner will be the team that holds fast to their game plan, to their strategy, to their beliefs.

This video seemed to capture some of the tenacity with which the New Orleans Saints played this season.  It sort of took me back to college, getting pumped for a game, making the big hit, tasting victory.  (I figured since I gave some Colt love on Day 1, I should send it back to the Saints today, Day 3.)  Enjoy.  (2:13)