Put Them First

March 31, 2009 by  
Filed under Fatherhood

It’s really easy to get busy with lots of things in life and, consequently, push our wives and children to the back burner.  I want to challenge you to guard against this.  If you’re not a husband or father yet, you can apply this to the important people in your life currently, but keep it in mind for your future – that’s when it really counts.  How can a guy who’s so busy with work, taking care of the house and vehicles and working on other projects manage to put his wife and kids first?  Simple – It’s a choice.

With everything in life, you have to choose.  Don’t just talk, act.  Don’t just wish, make it fact.  It’s rewarding to know that my children know me, love me and learn from me – daily.  In my life, here’s what I do to guard against pushing them out of the first spot:

I take every opportunity to be with them.  This might mean feeding them, changing their diapers and/or putting them to bed at night.  Whatever it is, I make an honest effort, daily, to do it.  [As often as possible, I do the “extra” or “other” stuff when they are napping or asleep.]

I make myself present to them… that means that I’m interacting with them, reading to them, playing with them, holding them, kissing and hugging them, etc.  This involves shutting the TV off and being actually present.  This doesn’t mean simply being in the same area as they are.

I take every opportunity to be with my wife.  If it can be with her and the kids at the same time, that’s what I prefer, but obviously, alone time is crucial.  A strong marriage, between faithful, committed spouses, is a perfect example to children and one that can’t be replaced.  It’s crucial to spend the alone time together to work on the foundational relationship within the family unit.

It’s easy to talk a big game.  It’s Truly Manly to back it up with your actions.

Man up!