God’s Will Be Done

In our lives, we should desire to seek God’s will and work so that our will may conform to His will.  In living God’s will for our lives, we will experience the utmost joy and happiness, which is what we are all longing for.  In our (personal) current situation, we are attempting to hear God’s call, understand it and heed it.  Speak Lord, your servant is listening.

We have an incredible opportunity pending… the potential merger of TrueManhood.com and The King’s Men (TKM) (www.thekingsmen.org.)  TKM is a Catholic lay apostolate currently based in Philadelphia.  They build up men in the mold of leader, protector and provider.  Mark Houck and Damian Wargo, TKM founders, have been praying about adding a third partner into the ministry for some time.  This may just be the time.  In order for this to happen, several things must take place first.

1. The Board of Directors for TKM (a non-profit) must vote and obtain a majority approval vote.  5 members must vote in favor.
2. Generous donations must continue to come in for TKM budget to be adequately equipped to handle a third salary.  (Information below.)
3. Mark and Damian must feel comfortable that I am the right man for the job.  This is a huge step for them and they want to make certain that this move is right.

Considering all these impediments, and possibly others, I humbly beg for your prayers.  It would be a dream to be able to work full-time in men’s ministry.  To be able to work with such an incredible ministry, as TKM, would make it even that much more special.  I truly believe that God has ordained this partnership and that we will greatly influence the lives of tens of thousands (if not more) men in the coming years.

Although I believe this merger is ordained by God, others must also believe.  This is where your prayers come in. Your financial support could also make this a reality much sooner.  Please consider becoming a benefactor for TKM – any and all donations help.  Recurring monthly donations are preferred, but no one’s picky here!  If you would like to become a benefactor, please email me directly at Dave@TrueManhood.com and I can get you in touch with TKM’s accounting department.

If every visitor to TrueManhood.com last week (merely a segmented sample group) donated $50 per month, we could raise $50,000/mo.  Please consider this.  May God’s will be done!

TrueMan up!

ASK AN EXPERT – BACK TO THE CATHOLIC FAITH

My latest Ask an Expert response on iibloom.com:

QUESTION: What can I do for my 20 yr old son to come back to the Catholic faith?

ANSWER: This question is on the mind of parents everywhere. There isn’t a cookie-cutter answer because your son (and everyone else’s adult child) is unique. Please realize that the answer to the question for you and your son could take years to figure out. And, you have to be able to come to grips with the fact that your son may never return to the faith. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but a reality. On a personal level, I relate closely to this topic because I put my parents, family and friends through the very same thing about 10 years ago when I was 19 years old. I’ll get to the reason why I came back to the faith, but first, let me give a few generic answers for you to consider and possibly act on. 

First off, you may not be the right person to talk to your adult child about their faith life – or lack thereof. On the other hand, you might be just the person. I recommend determining whether you think you are this person or not. Be objective, keeping in mind that, unfortunately, your adult child may not want to listen to you. Objectivity, not subjectivity, is key to making this distinction. As their parent, you want them to “get it,” but it’s not that simple. 

Secondly, there are lots of reasons why people leave the faith. However, I have never come across a person who knew that the Catholic Church was the fullness of the truth and willingly left. This isn’t to say that there’s someone out there like this, but it’s unlikely. The important thing to keep in mind here is that knowing and loving are two separate things. It is simply not enough for someone to have head-knowledge of the person of Jesus and never come into a loving relationship with Him. The loving relationship with Christ comes from a conversion, or turning away from our sinful ways, and turning towards God. Conversion may be the farthest thing in your son’s mind. You can’t make the conversion take place, but you can be like St. Augustine’s mother, St. Monica, who was relentless in her prayer, suffering, penance and example for her son. What she was successful at was knowing her role in the necessary conversion of her son, who was far worse than your son, and who became a doctor of the Church. 

Next, if his catechesis (knowledge of, understanding of and reasoning for the faith) is poor, there won’t be a compelling-enough reason to go to Mass. If his catechesis is poor, it means that Mass isn’t about receiving the Eucharist, the greatest gift God could have ever given to us, His people, but that Mass is an obligation that takes time and energy. Mass in the latter case becomes tedious and boring, something merely to check off a list and not something that is viewed as a privilege and an honor. This is the way that many “fallen away” Catholics view Mass. They were never taught the WHY, only the WHAT. The WHAT never suffices in and of itself. 

There is most likely a disconnect somewhere for him. It is quite possible that you did a lot of great things raising your son and for some personal reason, he is choosing to abandon his faith – the faith you want so badly for him to possess. It is also quite possible that he doesn’t have a foundational understanding of the WHY of our faith and therefore doesn’t believe that the faith is practical, and that emotionally it’s easier to live a godless life than to deal with all the outdated rules, for example. If we, as parents, don’t know, love and live our faith, why should we ever expect our children to? He may have gone to Catholic school all his life, or been in every CCD class your parish offered. That’s not enough because true conversion hasn’t taken place yet. 

We all need role models to emulate. There’s a man in your son’s life that is a faithful Catholic man, that “has it all,” that loves life, that cherishes his wife, that is a man’s man and that your son trusts. Depending on this man, either suggest to your son to go and speak with him, or invite the man to engage your son in conversation. I am willing to bet that in order for your son to go through the necessary steps for true conversion, that a real relationship is going to be an absolute must. This trustworthy man could be just the thing your son needs. It will take time. 

The reason I came back to the faith had nothing to do with my family, it had everything to do with joy. I was on my college campus, an anti-Catholic, Evangelical, sola-scriptura Christian. I fought with people about the faith, I pushed the faith aside and I hated Catholicism. Soon, my life turned to despair, hopelessness and was riddled with doubt. I looked around at all the people who I considered to be my friends and they all had something I wanted. They had joy, in the deepest sense of the word. Their joy caused me to rethink everything I had turned away from. I went on a long journey and through their example, returned to the vibrant faith that I now know and love. 

Keep the faith and pray that your son will have a conversion and come to understand and love the faith which we hold so dear. Blessings, Dave.

Good Friends Bring Joy to Our Lives

Good friends bring joy to our lives.  Good friends build us up.  Good friends challenge us and hold us to a higher standard.

Are you a good friend?  Are you a living joy?  Are you building up those around you?  Are you holding those around you to a higher standard?  If you aren’t, check yourself, make a change and start to.  If you are, you are greatly affecting change in this world.  Living this type of life is not only a great benefit to others, but it affects us in a positive way too.

For the men… being a good friend means that you are living a life that challenges, encourages and leads your male friends to something more than drunken women-chasing.  It means real, tangible efforts to build each other up.  One of my favorite passages of Sacred Scripture is from The Book of Proverbs.  It’s short and sweet, to the point, no frills.  ”As iron sharpens iron, so man sharpens his fellow man.”  (Proverbs 27:17).  Iron is a very tough metal and the only way to sharpen an iron sword is to use another piece of iron.  Once this piece of iron is sharp, it can be used for it’s purpose – fighting in battle.  In order for a man to be a sharp man (ready for battle and ready to be used for the purpose in which he was created) he must have been formed by other men.

It is imperative for men to have good man friends.  More on this next time.

Man up!

Embracing Life

Still on vacation… had another experience I needed to blog about.  This story is a simple one, yet it contains an incredible life lesson.

Last night, we had a shuttle driver take us from the water park to our resort.  Stan showed up right on time, came around the vehicle to let us in and proceeded to very skillfully drive us through the night’s traffic.  We began in small talk, and eventually began talking about life.  Stan, a married man of many years, had moved to Florida some 15+ years ago with his wife.  Just over a year ago, they moved to Orlando to find work.  Stan had worked in construction, installing windows and doors, for many years.  After losing his job, he took it upon himself to find more work, any work.  With the Florida’s economic failings, building was way down and construction jobs weren’t available.  As he told us about the tough times that he and his wife experienced, we experienced a side of Stan that I wish everyone could experience.  Pure joy.

Stan exemplified joy.  He was happy, pleasant, energetic and sincere.  Stan spoke of the hardships of losing work in a way that told me that he knew that in order to live (to provide, to be a man) he needed to take whatever work came along.  Being a shuttle driver isn’t glamorous, powerful or high-paying – it’s long hours, sometimes unrulely patrons and small wages.  He was simply happy to have a job and knows that many others don’t.  He knows he is truly blessed.  Stan chose to look at his job as if the glass was not only half-full, but that it was overflowing.  Stan told us about grabbing as much over time as he could, about the full benefits that his company offers and about how he wakes up each morning wanting to go to work, simply glad to have a paycheck. 

The life lesson… live joy.  Joy is a powerful tool.  I’ve blogged about it before, but in a different context.  Stan’s story shows us that no matter what the world throws at us, we can live a happy life.  Stan knows that money and possessions are not what rules his life, but loving his wife and giving 100% at work is incredibly honorable and manly, and that dictates what he does in life.  Stan shows us all that a TrueMan does what he has to, when he has to, no matter what, in order to live and provide.

Stan… the skies are blue for you, my friend.  There will be great things for you in your future – stay positive, energetic and hardworking.  Your wife is a lucky woman – keep treating her as your queen.  Best of luck to you.  I’m a better man after meeting you.

Man up!

7 Days of Virtue; Day 7 – Love

Think of virtues like your muscles.  You work your muscles out so that they can perform for you when needed.  Virtue is the same way.  You practice, work on the virtue and then, when the time comes, the virtue is there and ready.

Day 7 of the 7 Day Journey through the Virtues: DAY 7 – LOVE.

Love, also called charity, is the form of all virtue.  Love is friendship with God and love leads us to God.  An important aspect of love is that it is a verb; it requires action from us.   To perform acts of love, we must surpass our own abilities; we require supernatural grace.   (Supernatural = super –> beyond… natural –> nature… beyond our nature.) 

Society often tells us that love is something that we get, instead of something we give.  We’re often told to seek it for our good, instead of the good of another.  This leads us to selfishness and seeking our our passions, desires and wants.  Instead, we should love unconditionally, especially our spouse and our children – making a freely given gift of ourselves and our lives.  Love brings us:

• Joy – seeing love in others.
• Peace – right relations, when we are united (or under reconciliation)
• Mercy - a compassionate heart for another’s unhappiness.   (The greatest virtue in relation to others.)

Love also occurs in:

• Passion – the desire for something.
• Natural virtue – when you want what is best for someone else.
• Theological virtue - the Holy Spirit dwelling in us. 

Man up!