She Thinks We’re Just Fishin’

This morning, I took my daughters fishing.  They have experienced a bit of fishing before, but this was their first time with me.  Just the three of us went; 2yr old Emma, 3yr old Lily and Daddy.  We drove about 7 minutes to the local lake.  I taught them how to put the rods together, then switched the lefty reel to a righty.  We then baited a hook (lure) and I showed them how to cast and reel.  They took turns and ultimately, had a great time.  We didn’t stay long.  They were more interested in their ice cold water and snack that waited for them in my truck and not so much in casting and sitting still in the hot summer sun.  It was all good.

I had prepared them for this “fishing trip” the night before.  They woke up excited and were ready to go fairly early.  They thought we were going to catch huge fish, but I knew better.  I wasn’t using the right lures and the rods were way too big for them.  Again, it was all good.

It wasn’t about catching fish.  [If it was, they'd call it 'catching' instead of 'fishing'.]  It was about my daughters having time with their father, and it was about their father having time with his daughters.  Time, that’s really all.  And memories.  When’s the last time you took time to make memories with your children?  Your godchildren?  Your nephews/nieces?  Your grandkids?  Go make memories.  Oh, and on the way home from fishing… we stopped in at the adoration chapel at our church for a few minutes of silent prayer with Jesus.  Overall, it was a great morning.

Trace Adkins has a new song out on country radio, here’s the video.  Speaks to what I’m talking about here.  Thanks, Trace.

TrueMan up!

The Case for Sainthood

The Catholic Church has a process by which She determines whether or not a man or woman should be named a saint.  The process can be long and tedious and involves loads and loads of paperwork, proof, documentation, etc.etc.  The “case” is reviewed and then a determination is made.  (For more on this process, click HERE.)  One such man, Fr. Emil Kapaun, has a case being sent to the Vatican as we speak.  The story of Fr. Kapaun is close to my heart, as he was from Wichita, Kansas and a military man.  I grew up just 6 miles south of Wichita and as many of you know, have a long and extensive family (and even a personal) history with the military.  My Father, Tony, just told me about the opportunity that he and my mother had of attending this special Mass that was held at the Cathedral in Wichita on July 1.  We’ll pick up with an Al Kresta story…

“Fr. John Hotze, episcopal delegate for the office of Fr. Kapaun’s beatification and canonization, said the event marks the culmination of years of work and also celebrates the “gift” of Fr. Kapaun.

“The fact that we, unlike any other diocese in the United States, in the world, have been blessed by the example of this saintly man, Father Emil Kapaun, boggles my mind,” he said in a June 30 statement. “How can we do anything less than give praise to God for this gift and strive to follow the example of Father Kapaun’s selfless giving.”  Fr. Kapaun, a native of Pilsen, Kansas, served in the Korean War. He courageously rescued wounded soldiers from the battlefield, risking his own life to prevent their execution at the hands of the Chinese.  He was captured by North Korean and Communist Chinese forces after he volunteered to stay behind on a battlefield with the injured.  The priest’s service to his fellow prisoners has become legendary among those who knew of him. Scores of men attributed their survival to his work tending the starving and the sick.

Fr. Kapaun died in a prison camp hospital on May 23, 1951. The Diocese of Wichita has investigated his life since 2001 and officially opened the cause for his beatification on June 29, 2008.

Andrea Ambrosi, a lawyer investigating the case for the Vatican, told the Wichita Eagle he thinks Fr. Kapaun has a good chance to be raised to the altars.  “He showed that there was not just a devil working on the battlefields of the war, but something else.”  The investigator said Kapaun’s candidacy is unique compared with the hundreds of other cases he has investigated because it is so full of action and detailed. While most cases involve “very holy” priests and nuns who have miracles attributed to them, Fr. Kapaun’s story involves far more deeds of heroism, sacrifice and action.

Ambrosi has investigated two alleged miracles involving prayers for Fr. Kapaun’s intercession.  In 2006 Avery Gerleman, then 12 years-old, was near death for 87 days. She recovered after her parents prayed to Kapaun.  In October 2008 Chase Kear, a college track athlete, inexplicably survived a severe pole vaulting accident. His skull was fractured from ear to ear and caused some bleeding on his brain. Doctors said he would likely either die in surgery or from a post-surgery infection.  However, family and friends joined in petitions to Fr. Kapaun. Kear survived the surgery and left the hospital only a few days after the incident.  Doctors said both recoveries were medically inexplicable.  Ambrosi said the intensity of the priest’s devotees is “incredible.”  Several Catholic parishes and many parishioners pray for Fr. Kapaun’s intercession every week at Masses and many call upon him when loved ones become ill.

Fr. Hotze said that the diocese has finished collecting information that will “hopefully, with the grace of God, prove Father Kapaun worthy of beatification and then canonization as a saint of the Catholic Church.”  Ambrosi and other investigators must now closely study 8,268 documents about the chaplain’s deeds and sacrifices in the Korean War. Those documents are being sent to Rome.  If canonized, the priest would become the third American-born saint.”

Clearly, Fr. Kapaun was an incredible man!  What a TrueMan!  Living virtue at every turn.  I wrote another story about him previously, which also includes some video trailers of a film that was made about his life.  Click HERE for that story.  We hope he is elevated to the distinction of “blessed”!

Fr. Emil Kapaun – Pray for us!

TrueMan up!

Father’s Day Novena

It’s a little late for you to join in the prayers during this novena to St. Joseph, but I encourage you to visit the Father’s for Good site to view the reflections from several men about fatherhood and living as St. Joseph (the Foster Father of Jesus) lived.  It’s great stuff and I’m glad to have been a part of it.  Sorry it’s coming late… we were just out “Into the Wild” and had a great experience.  For more information on Into the Wild, visit www.IntoTheWildWeekend.com.

This project was spurred on by the team at Maximus Group, a Catholic marketing firm who is promoting a new movie called Courageous that is coming out in September.  I’ve pre-screened the movie and it is awesome.  More on Courageous to come.

Listen to Mark Houck, Jesse Romero, Steve Pokorny, Bill & Billy Moyer, Chad Faddis and me as we share our thoughts on the great man-saint, St. Joseph.  What a TrueMan!

Click HERE to go to the Fathers For Good website.

Vince DeStefano – Movement of My Heart in Words

My friend and fellow TKM brother, Vince DeStefano, sent me this small excerpt of something he wrote while he was praying this morning.  Vince is real – he’s a TrueMan in every sense of the word, and he’s sincere.  He’s a great man, a great husband, a great father and a great friend.  He’s incredibly generous and humble.

Regardless of what your sin is, read through this and put yourself in the place of “I”.

“Lost in a deep thicket, hidden in an unknown forest, I cry out in desperation.  Christ approaches me directly,cutting through material with pure light and creating a straight path in his wake.  He reaches me, and I feel intense shame and unworthiness.  I plead to him, and though He remains wordless in reply I understand that my sins encumber me, realizing now that my feet are tangled in the brush.  Christ turns and walks back from whence He came, taking with Himself the brilliance yet leaving an illuminated path, still straight, and seeming to implore me to determine the nature of the weeds which entangle my feet in order to destroy them and then fully pursue my purpose. While of course wishing to remain in His intense light of reprieve from temporal encumbrance, I’m left with renewed Faith, Hope, and compelling Love, filled with eagerness and determination to tear myself from Satan’s thorns and run after my Savior.”

TrueMan up!

“Winner at Home”

I saw this on the Father’s For Good website and thought it would be good to post here as well.  Great job, Trever Miller!

“Cardinals’ lefthander, a Knight of Columbus, has challenges on and off the field”

By Brian Caulfield

“As he begins his 12th season as a major league pitcher, Trever Miller is familiar with baseball’s performance measurements: earned run average, strikeout-walk ratio, winning percentage, saves and a dozen other metrics. A lanky lefty reliever with the St. Louis Cardinals, who specializes in retiring left-handed batters in late innings, he even holds a major league record for consecutive mound appearances without a win or loss decision. Having pitched for five teams, the 37-year-old hurler’s lifetime record is a respectable 18-16.

But as a father of a child who was born with two holes in her heart and a genetic disorder so rare that it doesn’t have a name, Miller measures success in life in more basic ways these days – the next breath, a winning smile, a new movement from his daughter Grace. She was not supposed to leave the hospital after birth yet turns a miraculous 7 years old in June.

“Faith goes with the territory,” Miller said last month during the Cardinals’ spring training in Florida. “Grace is my hero and my inspiration. She has overcome more physical tests than I ever have in a lifetime of baseball.”

Miller is a member of the Knights of Columbus’ Our Lady of the Rosary Council 8104 in Land o’ Lakes, Florida. He was brought into the fraternal Order by his father, Terry Miller, who serves as financial secretary for the same council. Father and son are both Fourth Degree Knights in Fr. Malachy Hugh Maguire Assembly 2741.

“I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school” in Louisville, Kentucky, said the younger Miller. He attends Mass each Sunday and when Mass is offered in the Cardinals’ clubhouse through an arrangement with the group Catholic Athletes for Christ.

One of Kentucky’s all-time great baseball stars at Trinity High School, Miller was drafted by the Detroit Tigers after graduating. He spent a few years in the minors before breaking into the big leagues in 1996.

A year earlier, he married Pari, his wife of 16 years, and they have three children: Tyler, 14, who is a member of the Columbian Squires; McKenzie, 13, and Grace. After his youngest child was born, he and his wife had a choice to make about her treatment. The couple opted for life and hope by approving surgery to close the holes in her tiny heart.

Today, she cannot walk or talk, and a simple cold can mean a trip to the emergency room to prevent fluid from filling her lungs. Still, Grace attends school as often as she can and receives regular therapy.

“She’s a battler, she’s tough,” said Terry Miller, her grandfather. “She’s the only child with her condition who has lived beyond one year, so nothing would surprise me, even if she started talking one day. I’m sure she’d have a lot to tell us.”

Trever Miller tells of dark days a few years ago when he was angry with everyone, including God, over his daughter’s condition.

“We were stunned, we didn’t understand,” he recalled. “We had to stress acceptance, and as a father I wanted to fix her situation and I couldn’t. It was a helpless feeling.”

As a man who makes his living by his physical abilities, acceptance has been difficult. “Dads are looked to as Mr. Fix It, but no matter what I couldn’t fix this. It was tough that I couldn’t control this.”

He now pours his frustration into running, completing two 26.2-mile marathons and wearing a t-shirt that reads: “26 for Grace, .2 for me.”

“I think our faith in God and his running was his saving,” his wife said.

Miller agrees. “One thing all this has done is to keep our family praying,” he said. “Because of this, Grace has so many other people praying for her too.”

Trever Miller is hoping for a stellar year with the Cardinals, but he knows that his biggest wins will be at home with his family.”

More Embarrassing Than Anything Else?

This story has been in the news a significant amount over the past 11 months or so, but I thought it good to discuss it here on, apparently, the last stage of the case.  Lawrence Taylor, former NFL Linebacker for the NY Giants, was indicted on several counts of sexual misconduct, prostitution, having sex with an underage female, etc. etc. in May of 2010.  (For the entire case file and details, google or youtube videos for more specifics.)  Yesterday, Taylor was in court for his sex offender hearing.

There are lots of details to this case, but I want to focus on his response on this FOX News show.  Watch it then read below.

If you watched closely, you may have seen some of the glaring problems that I saw.  For instance, LT tried to justify his actions.  He seemed to shrug off the gravity of his actions.  He attempted to answer several of the questions, but as he proceeded, he seemingly realized that his honest answer would “get him in trouble” at home with his wife and he backed off.  As he stumbled through his answers, you could tell from both his body language and his stuttering that he was trying to give the political answer instead of owning up to what he did.  (From the start, LT’s story changed.  Originally, he said he never had sex with the prostitute, a 16 year old girl.  Then he admitted to pieces of the story, then eventually, he admitted – after taking a plea deal – to all of the charges.)  LT, you should have been honest from the start.  Better yet, you shouldn’t have been looking to a pimp to find you a woman to fornicate with.

And, what’s the deal with “then it’s all clean”???  Prostitution isn’t clean.  It does mess with emotions, with the chemical makeup, with relationships.  It’s not clean at all.

And another thing… yes, some of us are trying to shut down the sex trafficking industry!  One by one, 10 by 10, whatever it takes.

And no, Mr. Taylor, not everyone goes to prostitutes.  In fact, most of us don’t.  Please don’t speak for the rest of us.

Beyond the first interview, (in part 2) LT talks about his 5 year old son.  He appears to believe that his son will be a better man because of what he (LT) has gone through.  Let me tell you something… it doesn’t work like that.  Little boys act like their daddies, whether good bad or indifferent.  For the bad daddies, unless someone, hopefully their daddy himself, intervenes and sets a better example, the little boy is prone to bad behavior.  That’s painting the picture with broad strokes, but it’s the statistics.

In the end, I’m not saying there’s no hope for this guy.  I’m not saying that he won’t make it through.  I’m not saying that he’s going to use prostitutes again, or that his son is hopeless, or that a conversion to our Lord isn’t possible.  What I’m saying, similar to what I said about Tiger Woods, is that men like this, who have loads of influence and power, are detrimental to manliness because of their lack of knowledge and implementation of virtue.

TrueMan up!

Couldn’t Disagree More

In this video, Ted Haggard spouts off about forgiveness and restoration.  Haggard, an ex-evangelical preacher, you may recall, was caught up in a web of lies when his gay male prostitute “mistress”, also a meth addict, outed him and exposed him to not only his wife and children, but to his congregation (New Life Church in Colorado Springs – a non-denominational mega church) and the world.  Haggard was destroyed in the tabloids, the news, the reports, on the web and especially in Christian circles.  He was a fraud and led many astray because of his actions.

When Haggard speaks of restoration, he speaks as though he deserves it.  Although he can be forgiven, his attitude doesn’t seem (at least not to me) to be in the right place and it doesn’t seem that he wants to take any responsibility.  I’ve seen him in other videos and have always felt the same about those interviews.  He seems to place a lot of blame and like he doesn’t want to accept his consequences.  Not very manly, if you ask me.  ”…Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

I couldn’t disagree more with what he says in this video.  He speaks of “the church”, as most Protestants do, as the group of people who believe in Christ.  As Catholics, we speak of “The Church” in a different way and I think that, as She always has, The Church does a great job of restoring people.  It’s frustrating to see a video like this because this ex-pastor, who still has influence on people and can give them reasons not to believe, feels like he can say whatever he wants with complete disregard for who hears it or who he affects.

Watch it and see what you think.  Leave me comments.

TrueMan up!

Most. Disgusting. Thing. Ever.

Have you heard of the couple in Minneapolis that is putting the life of their child up to the results of a “Life or Abortion” poll?  I hate even giving them any publicity because of how heinous and disgusting their actions are.

The couple, who won’t be named, have decided to create a poll on their website, also not named, to let the public determine whether or not they should keep their child or abort their child.  The couple is pregnant, and almost 20 weeks along.  If you visit their site, you’ll see all sorts of stuff, and namely, you’ll see relatively new ultrasound pictures.  They speak of their child as if it is a human child, not merely a blob or a muscle mass, or tissue, or any of the other “choice” words used to diminish the truths of nature.  The couple claims that this isn’t a publicity stunt (clearly it is) and that they aren’t swayed one way or the other just yet.  I’m disgusted by this father’s utter lack of manliness in this situation. Absolutely disgusted.

First off, a TrueFather does everything in his power to protect his children.  He does not put them up for auction, for spectacle, for amusement.  He does not harm them.  He does not take them for granted.  He does not murder them.

Secondly, a TrueHusband does everything in his power to protect his wife.  He does not exploit her. He does not make a spectacle of her.  He does not harm her.  He does not make choices that will cause long-lasting negative emotional, physical and psychological effects.

This male is not a TrueMan.  He’s not being a good father.  He’s not being a good husband.  In fact, he’s completely disregarding everything that is manly (virtue!) and choosing vice.  I am incredibly saddened for this couple, for their child, for everyone who has been exposed to this sort of crap and to anyone who actually considers this legitimate.  Let us unite together in prayer for the conversion of this couple and for the end to abortion and all attacks against human life.

NOTE: It has been speculated that this is, in fact, a publicity stunt in favor of the pro-life movement.  Regardless of the actual intention of the couple, this is incredibly stupid and should not be considered pro-life.

TrueMan up!

An Act of Heroism

This clip isn’t easy to watch, and my heart goes out to this mother and child.  What a great example of virtue and TrueManhood from this husband and father.  The man’s father puts it well by saying that love will fix the situation.  It may seem ridiculous to some, but love heals.  Afterall, do you think God liked seeing His Son dying on the cross?  Not a chance.  But, the love which Christ poured out for us, by giving up His life, was love at its core.  This man, Brian Wood, knew what it meant to love.

 

 

 

This piece shows me several things:

1. Our society has a drastically obvious double-standard about pro-life issues.  Notice how this pregnancy happens to be a baby – in this setting – but in most others, it’s simply a blob, a tissue-mass or an embryo.
2. Our society drastically misunderstands virtue.  If you notice, several times the gentleman’s actions were misinterpreted, saying that he made a choice and acted.  Although he did make a choice to sacrifice himself, he acted out of virtue.  The virtue of courage was obviously a part of this man’s life.
3. Our society will likely see a video clip like this and continue to abuse alcohol and drugs.  Selfishness runs rampant in our culture.  Fight it by not being selfish.  Be a selfless servant.

My condolences to the family.

TrueMan u!

A Message from Dads.org Founder, Steve Wood

Here’s the latest message from Dads.org Founder, Steve Wood…

Raising Boys to Men in an Effeminate Culture

I’d like to extend a special welcome to the three hundred new subscribers who recently signed up for this newsletter after seeing the re-broadcasts of my EWTN series The Carpenter’s Shop.

The re-broadcast of this series brought to mind my interview with Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, author of A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality. Dr. Nicolosi, an orthodox Catholic psychologist, is the world’s leading expert in treating youth experiencing gender identity confusion, or struggling with homosexuality. This interview also sparked my desire to reprint one of my favorite articles that I’ve written over the years: Lessons for Dads from Secondhand Lions.

Lots of Christian parents who had assumed homosexuality could never strike a loved one in their family now realize how wrong they were to be complacent about this terrible threat.

If you think homosexuality can’t possibly strike any of your children, take note of a survey of 34,706 12-year-olds from Minnesota. The survey found that 25.9 percent of these kids weren’t sure whether they were homosexual or heterosexual. That’s astounding. However at the age of 12 a child isn’t suffering from homosexuality but rather a gender identity confusion, which is a fixable problem.

Much better than trying to fix a problem is preventing it. Dr. Nicolosi is crystal clear that the best way to prevent homosexuality is for a father to be lovingly involved in his son’s life. A son’s attachment to his father as he matures throughout boyhood and adolescence is the key for his healthy masculine development. To put it simply – it takes a man to make a man out of a boy.

I strongly recommend the following four steps to learn how a father (grandfather, uncle, coach, scout leader, or a mentor) helps a boy become a man:

Step 1 – Read the article below, Lessons for Dads from Secondhand Lions

Step 2 – Watch the movie, Secondhand Lions

Step 3 – Read A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality

Step 4 – Watch Secondhand Lions a second time

The four-step plan outlined above is perfect for individual fathers and it is an ideal study plan for a men’s small group.

The most frequent parenting mistake I see is the failure to anticipate the needs of teenagers during early childhood. Another mistake is failing to anticipate the needs of young adults during the teenage years. Make no mistake: you have to be at least one or two steps ahead of your children. Take action now to prevent your children from getting caught up in the worldwide spread of homosexuality.

Lessons for Dads from Secondhand Lions

My movie recommendations are hopelessly obsolete since by the time I get around to seeing a movie it is usually about to leave theaters. So this article isn’t a preview, but a reflection on a fascinating film for fathers.

Secondhand Lions featuresWalter, a shy and awkward boy being raised by an irresponsible single mom with multiple boyfriends. Walter is abandoned for the summer when his mother drops him off at the rundown, rural Texas home of his great uncles.

At the difficult stage of life when a boy needs to mature into his manhood, Walter seems to have every conceivable strike against his healthy development. Yet Walter’s manhood miraculously matures as a result of his relationship with two cranky old men.

Garth and Hub (Michael Caine and Robert Duvall) are the gruff-talking, shotgun-toting, anti-social, rough-around-the-edges, great uncles. They sure don’t have Ph.D.’s in developmental psychology, and at first they don’t seem particularly interested in helping to make a man out of Walter. In fact, Garth and Hub seem like the worst possible father-substitutes for this semi-orphaned boy. Yet they do a marvelous job in helping Walter make the transition from boyhood to manhood.

Here are Garth and Hub’s secrets for turning this boy into a young man: Shoot, fish, eat, work, ride in the truck, and have lots of fun as guys – not really too complicated. They just did all this stuff together and, despite having every social strike against him, Walter grows into a well-adjusted man.

It takes a man to convey and confirm masculinity to a boy. It doesn’t come via auto-pilot. It doesn’t come from the most committed and talented mother, or female teacher. Dad, let me repeat this: It takes a man to help a boy develop his masculinity. I wrote this in The ABCs of Choosing a Good Husband:

“A young boy is naturally drawn into a close attachment to his mother. Being a ‘mama’s boy’ under seven years of age is fine and healthy. And yet for a boy to mature fully in his masculinity, he needs to ‘detach’ from Mom and form a closer attachment with his father throughout older boyhood and adolescence.

A boy matures into manhood through this close identification with his father. Once a young man has fully matured in this way, he’s ready for a close reattachment to a woman — his wife. But it’s extremely difficult for a boy to mature in his masculinity without the presence of a father.”

When boys don’t have men to help them mature, they turn out haywire – hoods and homosexuals are just two extreme types of boys who don’t make the transition to manhood.

The hoods in Secondhand Lions who pull switchblades and try (quite unsuccessfully) to rough up Robert Duvall were asserting their pseudo-masculinity. After the fight, Duvall befriends the hoods and takes them home. He recognizes that these young toughs have a deficiency of real manhood. So he gives them his “man talk” to help them become real men. After observing this, Walter wisely senses his own need for the “man talk” and desperately pleads for one.

Although frequently unacknowledged, homosexuality and gender-confusion also stem from the failure to make the successful transition from boyhood to manhood. Homosexuality is now a common phenomenon among Catholic teens and twenties.

What should Catholic parents of a homosexual or gender-confused child do? The last thing I would advise is heeding the document, “Always Our Children.” I also advise keeping your children far from anyone or anything associated with the National Association of Catholic Diocesan Lesbian and Gay Ministries . Homosexuality and gender confusion are serious problems requiring solid psychological advice.

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi is on my short-list of reliable Catholic psychologists. Every Catholic dad should read his book, A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality.

Dr. Nicolosi, who has spoken with hundreds of homosexual men over the past fifteen years, says, “I have never met a single homosexual man who said he had a close, loving, and respectful relationship with his father. I have never known a single case of a homosexual man who was not wounded in his relationships within the male world.”

Dr. Nicolosi asserts, “Fathers make men.” He describes how boys have a critical developmental task that girls don’t. A boy needs “to disidentify from his mother and identify with his father” if he is to grow into a normal heterosexual man. “Every boy has a deep longing to be held, to be loved by a father figure, to be mentored into the world of men, and to have his masculine nature affirmed and declared good enough by his male peers, his male elders, and mentors.”

On a recent live radio show with Dr. Nicolosi as my guest, we received a call from a concerned mother about her son’s masculine development. Dr. Nicolosi asked her, “How is your son’s relationship with his father?” She said, “Oh it’s great. They’re buddies, they play sports together all the time, and they hunt and fish together.” Dr. Nicolosi said, “Everything’s okay, there will be no problems.” The mother, not entirely convinced, went on to voice additional concerns when Dr. Nicolosi interrupted her and confidently predicted that this boy will turn out just fine thanks to his relationship with his father.

Secondhand Lions is an encouraging film for dads raising sons in our gender-confused and lack-of-genuine-manhood culture. If Garth and Hub, a pair of cranky and slightly crazy great-uncles, can lead Walter into his manhood, you can too. Garth and Hub weren’t perfect by a long shot, but they did share their lives and their manhood with Walter. It was a priceless gift.

Don’t let yourself be absorbed by your career and your personal sports and hobbies apart from your sons. You’ve got to be with your sons in order to share your manhood with them. Your wife can’t do this job for you. Expensive toys will not fill this void in your son. It takes you to lead your son into his manhood.

So, sweat with your sons while doing physical work together. Fish and go boating this summer. Shoot some skeet next fall. Maybe fix up an old truck and go places (boys really like going through dirt and mud). Finally, engage in some slightly risk-taking fun with them – deeply religious dads sometimes forget this vital “risky-fun” component of fathering sons. (My attorney advises me against giving specific recommendations, but I’m sure you can come up with something!)

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