The Birthday Wish

This story is about a young man that I have heard about for the past few years and who I have been praying for since hearing about him and his battle with cancer.  My cousin teaches him one-on-one and has kept me up to speed on his journey.  His strength is incredible.  He is an inspiration.

In the story below, the author mentions that James will not be undergoing any additional treatments.  This is a decision that his parents left him to make.  He decided that rather than go through more pain, he’d prefer to live the remainder of his life as fully and abundantly as possible.  Please pray for him and his journey through this life… for his parents and siblings and all those close to him.

The story below is a local story written by Adam Himmelsbach.  I’m wishing I would have sent more than just a birthday card.

As his 12th birthday drew closer, James Dobson said he did not need gifts. He has terminal brain cancer and is confined to a wheelchair, and he can barely speak, so at this point in his life he just wanted to know that people cared. He just wanted birthday cards, lots of them. And no one–not the Dobson family, not the U.S. Postal Service–was prepared for what happened next. Before we get to that, though, you have to understand something about James. He loves football the way most people love a day off. His brain tumor was originally found when he was in kindergarten. But the surgery and radiation and chemotherapy did not stop him from attending Chancellor High School’s practices.

His older brother Matt was the Chargers’ starting quarterback, and his father, Danny, was an assistant coach. James was a mascot, manager, water boy and super-fan rolled into one. ”The whole team just adopted him,” Matt Dobson said. “He’ll just walk right up and start talking to you, it doesn’t matter who you are.”

When James was 9, the brain tumor returned. He had surgery once again, and there were complications from treatment. His vocal cords were ravaged, he struggled to walk and he had severe pneumonia. But he fought–goodness, did he fight–and the disease went into remission. Then about six months ago, a tumor emerged that was twice as big as the other two and more aggressive than a linebacker. ”We’d done the harshest things you can do and hit the tumors with everything there was,” Danny Dobson said, “and we just couldn’t stop it from coming back.” James will not go through another round of treatment. Rather than trying not to die, he is spending his final months focused on living. And that brings us back to that special birthday request.

One of James’ former teachers at Battlefield Elementary School knocked over the first domino by putting the word out on her Facebook page two weeks ago. Then Chancellor assistant football coach Chris Lam contacted a friend who runs a recruiting service and has most of the college football world on speed dial. Then James’ story and home address went viral.

A few cards trickled in as his Sept. 5 birthday approached. Before long, the neighborhood postal worker was dropping large boxes filled with mail on the family’s porch. Some of the return addresses were startling. There were autographed pictures from Alabama coach Nick Saban and South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. There was an autographed football from Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville and a birthday card from Penn State coach Joe Paterno. There were letters from USC and UCLA, and care packages from Virginia, Virginia Tech, Navy and Marshall. Southern Mississippi and Idaho both invited James to be their guest on the sideline when they play at Virginia later this season. James received telephone calls from Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator Clyde Christensen and WWE superstar John Cena. Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin sent an autographed jersey and a football from team headquarters. The Massaponax High School marching band even showed up on his front lawn and played a few birthday songs. Football was just a slice of this story, though.

James received a letter from a U.S. soldier in Japan who said he would write again when he arrived in Afghanistan. Another card arrived from Alaska. James has received more than 2,600 pieces of mail in the last two weeks. His parents have read each message aloud as James sits in his wheelchair and listens to every word. ”It’s overwhelming what’s taking place,” Danny Dobson said. “It’s amazing how many lives he’s touched.”

James does not make it to many Chancellor football practices anymore. Every once in a while his older brother Matt, who is now an assistant coach, rolls him onto the sideline in his wheelchair. He still asks about the Chargers’ final scores. He still tries to draw up plays. But he doesn’t want a fuss to be made over him and he doesn’t want his life to turn into a farewell tour. All he wants, all he’s ever wanted, is to know that people care.

“Thanks, everyone,” James said quietly, “from the bottom of my heart.”

CatholicTV.com Interview

I am blessed to have been interviewed on CatholicTV.com today.  Thank you to Bonnie Rodgers, as well as Jay Fadden and Fr. Reed.  The interview flew by… I wish I would have had a bit more time to discuss men’s issues, as well as promote my talks and retreats that are available for men’s groups, parishes, youth progams, young adult programs, Catholic high schools & colleges and men’s conferences & events.

Here’s the video of the show.  (My segment is around 9:25-15:18.)  If you can’t view the video, click HERE.

Back to Campus

With most schools starting recently (or soon), I thought it would be good to address some issues about how a TrueMan behaves on campus.  A college campus, as we all know, can be a hostile place for an ardent follower of Christ.  It can be a treacherous minefield of explosive situations, abusive and vulgar language, uncomfortable environments and disagreements with unbelievers.  In order to deal with these difficult issues, here are a couple suggestions.

• Be yourself.  If you love and serve God, don’t be ashamed of it.  Live it out, your witness will come through – people will want what you have.
• Don’t give in to negative peer pressure.  Negative peer pressure is stupid… Real friends don’t force you into bad situations and surely don’t lead you into sin.  We call these people “nasty friends”.  If you’ve got ‘em, get rid of ‘em.  Don’t ruin your life holding on to people who are ruining theirs.
• If you are struggling, and think that you’ve got it bad or that you’re really suffering for the increase of the Kingdom, read about St Paul in 2 Corinthians 11/12.  That’s some good perspective, huh?!
• There’s a big difference between being a strong Catholic man who stands for something good as compared to a “culturally manly” guy who wants the “glamorous” lifestyle of money, power, women and stuff.  College campus life increases these bad desires exponentially.
• Many women on your college campus won’t understand the chivalry you extend to them.  Do it anyway, with charity and a smile.  Be a radical change on your campus.
• Being a Man of God doesn’t mean you can’t have anything to drink, or that you can’t go to any parties.  It means that you put yourself in good situations, that point you towards heaven and you act in moderation and with prudence.  Remember, Jesus hung out with sinners, but not when they were sinning.
• Strive for excellence in all things.  Start by being sober and chaste.  If you conquer these two areas, you’re well on your way.
• As much as it seems untrue, women don’t want to marry the dirtball, drunkard, C-minus-student types.  They want a gentleman, a man who’s going to provide for them, a man who loves them and shows their love by respecting them and by being self-sacrificing.  They want a man who is going to be a great dad and a hard worker.  There’s nothing wrong with stacking the deck on this topic!  Put all the cards in your favor from the get-go!

All in all, college is a great time for a young man.  Live it up.  Enjoy it.  In all things, be focused on Christ, live virtue and especially, live joy.

Man up!

Summer Time Spirituality

Since many of TrueManhood’s readers are in college, I think it’s important to take some time to talk about a spiritual life during the summer months.  Many of you have a strong faith community and spiritual support system while on campus and many of you are heading home (or at least away from your group) for the summer; how do you keep a strong spiritual life going?  Well, it’s easy to get back into old, bad habits when you go back into an old environment.  Some of those old, bad habits might be as simple as forgetting to pray everyday.  They might be more serious (with lasting effects on the rest of your life) like excessive drinking and promiscuous sexual activity.  That said, here are a few suggestions of how to keep your spiritual life going – and growing!

1. Pray daily.  Take time (whichever part of the day is best for you) to make this a priority.  As with any relationship, it requires that you speak and listen to the other person.  God, in this regard, is no different.  Talk to Him.
2. Make Sunday Mass a priority, and get to daily Mass as much as possible.  The grace received from the Eucharist will help you fight temptations toward old, bad habits.
3. Stay in touch with your friends from campus.  (Your good friends – NOT your nasty friends.)  A support/accountability/prayer connection helps a person significantly.  We are relational beings – created to be with one another.  Your friends want to help you, so talk to them.  It’ll probably end up helping them too.
4.  Do spiritual reading.  Find one or more (good/orthodox) Catholic spiritual books and read.  This might also include taking notes, journaling about what you read and/or about how it applies to your life or talking about it with someone else.
5. Do your best to keep Christ first and foremost.  I listed this last, but it’s not the least priority, but yet the highest priority.  I write about Christ last so that you remember that it’s all about Him.  Keep Him #1.

Man up!