Changing a Man
Is it possible to change a person? Specifically, is it possible to change a man? I hear this topic brought up a lot, especially in the case of bad relationships. The question is frequently asked in regards to a man who isn’t doing what he’s supposed to be doing. The question is frequently coming after hindsight kicks in and someone recognizes that they picked a less-than-perfect-man to date, marry or befriend.
So, what do you think? Is it possible to change a person? Is it possible for a person with little-to-no-potential to change? I firmly believe so! Why do I believe so firmly in this? Because I changed! I change everyday, I strive to get better, I strive to change my ways – further away from my desires, interests and comforts, and more towards Christ Jesus! I think we all have the internal power to change for the better.
I write this post because I see situations regularly, and some very “close to home”, that cause me to wonder why people (men specifically) don’t change!?! There are so many wonderful things in life to experience, and so much good to be done, and so many people to influence for the positive… why do some people wallow in their filth? It boggles my mind.
I look at my life and notice that I desire change. If my wife isn’t happy with something I’m doing, I don’t become defensive and argumentative, I work on getting better! If my children aren’t responding to my parenting, I don’t blame them, I work to be a better father. If my prayer life isn’t as strong as I need it to be, I don’t get angry at God, I pray more. You see, in my life, I have learned that I must be the cause for the change I want to see. I can’t blame others for things I don’t like. I can’t sit around and stay stagnant. I can’t be okay with mediocre. I must work to grow, to change, to be the man that God created me to be. We all must do this!
One other thing here… If you know a guy who needs to change, give him the chance. Have really high expectations and don’t settle for second best. He has the potential to be better, he just might need to see that someone expects more out of him and that it really does matter how he lives, treats others and believes. However, if you’ve given someone a chance, and they constantly choose to make poor decisions, to wallow in their filth and refuse to grow, be careful how much you invest in them. I’m not telling you to stop investing in them, I’m merely suggesting that you be careful. Ladies – if you are dating a man who doesn’t want to change, be very weary to stay with him. You deserve a man who will strive to be the best he can be. Don’t expect marriage to make it better, it may in fact make it worse.
TrueMan up!
Another Star-of-a-Commercial
Carl’s Jr is at it again, continuing to make smutty commercials. Most of the time when I see a Carl’s Jr commercial, I simply turn the channel. I can see them coming from a mile away, so can you. The latest is terrible. The commercial shows a young male sitting in an auto body shop, watching a crew of workers buff out spray paint on his classic ’60’s Chevelle. The narrator says, “Having three girlfriends is great, until one of them finds out about the other two.” This line is wrong on a number of levels, but highlights the acceptable behavior of a “cultural man”. “Cultural Manliness” is telling even the youngest viewer that “when one of your multiple girlfriends finds out about your other girlfriends, you can just sit around and sneer about it. Just shell out a few extra bucks for a few burgers and laugh as your defiled muscle car gets a rub down to remove the paint from your unstable ex-girlfriend. It’s only a little extra cash.”
The “star” of the commercial sits eating his burger and fries as if nothing happened. He obviously is unscathed from the breakup and could care less about how anyone else feels about what he did.
It’s not okay to date multiple people. That’s not dating, that’s being a swinger. And if a guy’s “just hanging out” with a few women here and there, the women don’t become ravenous and spray paint his car with the words “CHEATER”. Only a (slightly unstable?) woman who thinks her man is committed to her does that. A TrueMan states his intentions clearly to one woman and remains committed and faithful to her. As men, we must demand that other men know what it means to be a man, and then challenge all men around us to act and respond in a manly way.
Man up!
