Tuesdays with Daddy – Father’s Edition

To all the men who are fathers… today’s “Tuesdays with Daddy” is for you.  Unfortunately, my opportunity to be home with my girls on Tuesdays will be coming to an end in about a month.  I thought it would be a good idea to put forth a challenge to all the dads out there, to keep you thinking, to keep you purposeful in your parenting.  Read over these questions and be honest with yourself about the answers.  If something’s not up to par, make a change today.  I believe that we are all on a journey towards being the best father that we can be.  The journey requires us to always be moving forward, always toward being better.

• Do you tell your children, not just everyday, but every chance you have, that you love them?
• Do your actions match up with your words?
• Do you love your wife?
• Does your love (action!) match up with your “I love yous”?
• Do your children see you loving your wife?
• Do your children have a healthy and realistic understanding of love, or is it what they see on television, in movies and online?
• Do you prioritize your life well?  Or do you give one (or more) part more attention and neglect the other things you ought to be doing?
• Are you addicted to anything?  Porn?  Alcohol?  ESPN?  Work? etc.
• Are you working to overcome your addiction?  (Ask me if you need resources… Dave@TrueManhood.com)
• Do you strive to grow in virtue?
• Are you faithful to a daily prayer life?  To a Sacramental life?
• Do your children know that you pray?
• Do you pray with your children everyday?
• Are you actively involved in the spiritual formation of your children daily?
• Do you pass on responsibilities and place them on your wife and/or childcare provider?
• Do you rejoice in your children?
• What else do you need to work on?

Man up!

“Our lives change when our habits change.”  - Matthew Kelly

The Fight – Clear and Present Danger

I write about “The Fight” a good bit on this site.  I urge men everywhere to realize that we are in a battle for souls.  Most of the time, the battle is spiritual – fighting demons, spiritual unrest and concupiscence.  Sometimes, however, the battle is physical.  In this video, the persecution of Christians shows us that the battle is a clear and present danger.  The persecution of Christians in America is far from as brutal as these persecutions of Christians by Muslims in Nigeria, but still real.  In no way am I attempting to compare the two forms of persecution – clearly, the are different.  However, there’s nothing to say that they can’t become as real in America as they are in other parts of the world.

If you can’t view the video, click HERE for the link.

Men, we MUST first learn what it means to be a man, then jump into action!  We are called to action!  Without TrueMen who step up, lead and fight, mankind will continue to suffer.  We cannot sit around and wait for this sort of hatred to permeate our culture any more.  Step up and do something!  How, you ask?  How can I possibly help these poor, defenseless people in Africa?  Start at home, so that it doesn’t happen here.  I’ve been known to joke on occasion about a “Muslim Invasion”, that I want to be armed and ready to respond to this sort of thing.  It’s not funny any more.  How ready are you if this were to happy in the US?

A note about the traffic on my site: in February 2010, my site was visited by people living in 36 various foreign countries.  6 of those 36 countries were African countries.  This is more real for them than me.

My Priority

If you bare with me on this post, I’m going to share something very personal.  I’ve really been struggling with something, and I’ve been letting my wife down in regards to this struggle.  In short, I tell her that she’s my number one priority, but my actions don’t line up.  My intentions are to make her my top priority, and to do everything I can for her, our kids, our family.  I really want this to be the case.  Unfortunately, I’ve really been dropping the ball on proving it to her.  I want badly to be the man that she needs, wants and deserves, however, I fail often.

I have no excuse.  Even though our work schedules are almost opposite, and when they happen to line up we both have other responsibilities that our family depends on for survival, I have no reason why I can’t prove to her that she’s my honest-to-goodness number one priority.  It’s the little bit of time that I should give fully to her, that I’ve been failing in.  It’s not even like she wants that much from me, just a little effort.  My effort has been completely lackluster and I owe her a huge apology.  But you know what?… she doesn’t want an apology, she wants change.  She wants to hear what I’m going to do and then see me do it.

The important thing to remember is this: in order for my words to mean anything, my actions must back them up.  The ol’ “Put your money where your mouth is” or better yet, the famous, “Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.”

Our marriage isn’t perfect and those who know me know that I’m far from perfection.  I run this website and blog and speak to men all over the country not in the sense that I’m trying to teach you everything there is to know about being an authentically manly man… I’m on this journey with you.  I learn something new everyday, and I’m constantly working to be better.  The thing that I think sets a TrueMan apart from other men is that he knows there are areas in his life where he needs to improve and he not only wants and tries to change, he takes action.

I challenge you to look at your own life and see the areas where you’re dropping the ball.  Pick the ball up and get back on track.  Don’t just talk the talk, walk the walk.

Man up!