BUT… I must say that I am VERY excited about an upcoming movie that is making its way to the big screen tomorrow (Friday, September 30, 2011).  The movie is called “Courageous”.  The producers of this film also produced the movie “Fireproof” (and a few others), which I thought was a good movie.  If “Fireproof” was good, “Courageous” is great!  I had the privilege of pre-screening the movie with my colleagues at our office and have the honor of being part of The King’s Men, one of the ministry-resources for men after they see the movie.

For the pre-screening, I went in very skeptical.  I went in believing that Sherwood Pictures was going to make the movie cheesy with Bible innuendos and very heavy, to the point of burdensome, like they did in “Fireproof”.  Not so.  ”Courageous” was very well done and had just the right amount of the “Jesus-factor” so as to still be relate-able as a tool for evangelization purposes with men who are non-believers.  This movie has action, drama, suspense, thrills, excitement and a host of other great characteristics.  I cannot recommend this movie high enough.  Go see it, even at current ticket prices, and show Hollywood that Americans want good, wholesome entertainment and not the garbage they have been spewing for years.

This movie is real.  It is about real men, attempting to live through some real life issues and situations.  It’s very practical and very helpful.  The acting is top notch, the storyline is right on and the cinematography is great.  Again, I cannot recommend this movie enough. (The trailer is located on our homepage on the right side.)

After you see the movie, you may want to get involved.  If you desire to follow in the example of the men in the movie, and become part of a small men’s group, I have a turn-key solution for you.  The King’s Men offers a men’s small group formation & accountability model that is easily duplicated, dynamic and proven.  We do not charge dues, have no membership and offer incredible support to our leaders.  Don’t try to reinvent the wheel – we have the track record of  a program that works.  Men’s lives are changed because of it.  Men who invest themselves into a men’s small group experience extreme growth and positive change.  Don’t wait another day!  If your parish/church/group/city/area gather enough men together, I can personalize a leader’s training workshop for you and train all of your facilitators in a day-long training session, complete with resource manual and all the how-to’s and nuts and bolts you could ever need.  The calendar is filling up fast, so contact me today!

For a list of existing groups, check out our GROUP LIST.  If one is nearby, all you have to do is show up.  If we don’t currently have any groups nearby, maybe this is the day you step up and start one.  Contact me for all the resources and support you need.  Dave@TheKingsMen.org.

TrueMan up!

In the story below, the author mentions that James will not be undergoing any additional treatments.  This is a decision that his parents left him to make.  He decided that rather than go through more pain, he’d prefer to live the remainder of his life as fully and abundantly as possible.  Please pray for him and his journey through this life… for his parents and siblings and all those close to him.

The story below is a local story written by Adam Himmelsbach.  I’m wishing I would have sent more than just a birthday card.

As his 12th birthday drew closer, James Dobson said he did not need gifts. He has terminal brain cancer and is confined to a wheelchair, and he can barely speak, so at this point in his life he just wanted to know that people cared. He just wanted birthday cards, lots of them. And no one–not the Dobson family, not the U.S. Postal Service–was prepared for what happened next. Before we get to that, though, you have to understand something about James. He loves football the way most people love a day off. His brain tumor was originally found when he was in kindergarten. But the surgery and radiation and chemotherapy did not stop him from attending Chancellor High School’s practices.

His older brother Matt was the Chargers’ starting quarterback, and his father, Danny, was an assistant coach. James was a mascot, manager, water boy and super-fan rolled into one. ”The whole team just adopted him,” Matt Dobson said. “He’ll just walk right up and start talking to you, it doesn’t matter who you are.”

When James was 9, the brain tumor returned. He had surgery once again, and there were complications from treatment. His vocal cords were ravaged, he struggled to walk and he had severe pneumonia. But he fought–goodness, did he fight–and the disease went into remission. Then about six months ago, a tumor emerged that was twice as big as the other two and more aggressive than a linebacker. ”We’d done the harshest things you can do and hit the tumors with everything there was,” Danny Dobson said, “and we just couldn’t stop it from coming back.” James will not go through another round of treatment. Rather than trying not to die, he is spending his final months focused on living. And that brings us back to that special birthday request.

One of James’ former teachers at Battlefield Elementary School knocked over the first domino by putting the word out on her Facebook page two weeks ago. Then Chancellor assistant football coach Chris Lam contacted a friend who runs a recruiting service and has most of the college football world on speed dial. Then James’ story and home address went viral.

A few cards trickled in as his Sept. 5 birthday approached. Before long, the neighborhood postal worker was dropping large boxes filled with mail on the family’s porch. Some of the return addresses were startling. There were autographed pictures from Alabama coach Nick Saban and South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier. There was an autographed football from Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville and a birthday card from Penn State coach Joe Paterno. There were letters from USC and UCLA, and care packages from Virginia, Virginia Tech, Navy and Marshall. Southern Mississippi and Idaho both invited James to be their guest on the sideline when they play at Virginia later this season. James received telephone calls from Indianapolis Colts offensive coordinator Clyde Christensen and WWE superstar John Cena. Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin sent an autographed jersey and a football from team headquarters. The Massaponax High School marching band even showed up on his front lawn and played a few birthday songs. Football was just a slice of this story, though.

James received a letter from a U.S. soldier in Japan who said he would write again when he arrived in Afghanistan. Another card arrived from Alaska. James has received more than 2,600 pieces of mail in the last two weeks. His parents have read each message aloud as James sits in his wheelchair and listens to every word. ”It’s overwhelming what’s taking place,” Danny Dobson said. “It’s amazing how many lives he’s touched.”

James does not make it to many Chancellor football practices anymore. Every once in a while his older brother Matt, who is now an assistant coach, rolls him onto the sideline in his wheelchair. He still asks about the Chargers’ final scores. He still tries to draw up plays. But he doesn’t want a fuss to be made over him and he doesn’t want his life to turn into a farewell tour. All he wants, all he’s ever wanted, is to know that people care.

“Thanks, everyone,” James said quietly, “from the bottom of my heart.”

My family is from the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area.  My family, for generations now, has always been Steelers, Penguins and Pirates fans.  This video about Cleveland is especially funny to us and I couldn’t help but pass it along.  I hope you have as great a laugh as I had!

]]> http://www.truemanhood.com/just-for-laughs-no-more-sports-in-cleveland/feed 1 http://www.truemanhood.com/the-ultimate-goal http://www.truemanhood.com/the-ultimate-goal#comments Fri, 02 Sep 2011 21:31:28 +0000 admin http://www.truemanhood.com/?p=2832 I wrote this article at the beginning of 2011 around the time of Super Bowl XLV for iibloom.com.  Now, as the NFL regular season, NCAA FB regular season and MLB postseason, comes near, it is a good reminder of our ultimate goal.  Hope you enjoy.

For professional athletes, the goal of their career is to become a champion. For players in the National Football League, the Super Bowl is the goal. To hold the Vince Lombardi Trophy and forever go down in history as a champion. To wear an incredibly large, diamond-encrusted ring. To have “Super Bowl Champion” added to your name. But how does one become a Super Bowl champion?

For most, the road to the Super Bowl is a long one. Most have played football since their adolescence and made their way through the ranks playing pee wee football, middle school, high school and college football. Some even had stints in arena football, foreign leagues and on semi-professional teams. They have devoted themselves to countless practices, to weight lifting, running, learning, watching game tape, team work and being coached. They have put in endless hours getting better at what they do. They never give up, striving for perfection.

Now, as the players from the two teams heading to Super Bowl XLV prepare for the biggest game of their careers, their “football past” comes to a head. All of the hard work, the determination, the commitment, the struggle…will it pay off? Will they be rewarded for their work? Only one team, the players, coaches and personnel, will be crowned champions.

Let us now correlate this to our own lives and more specifically, our spiritual lives. If we want to attain the goal, which should always be Heaven, we must put in even more work than professional athletes. Unlike the teams in the Super Bowl, we all have the chance to be crowned! We must, each and every day, place our priority on our spiritual well-being. We can look to the example of these athletes, much like St. Paul wrote in the Scriptures, “compete so as to win.” The example that athletes give us, as to how commitment and endurance can pay off, is a great example to follow. However, instead of being committed to physical practices, weight lifting, running and watching game tape, we should be committed to the Sacraments, to prayer, to spiritual reading, to personal growth in virtue and so on. For us, our hard work is not for the temporal world. Our hard work is not for a perishable crown, a trophy, a diamond-encrusted ring, or history books. Our hard work will be the reward of eternal salvation with God the Father in Heaven.

It seems to me that the hardest thing in life (my “game” situation) is that I allow all the little stuff to prevent me from giving it my all, and I get side tracked from the priority of competing with excellence and I fail to train like I used to when I was an athlete. I sort of “let life happen to me” instead of living life. I think about this a lot and constantly have to remind myself to be diligent in my spiritual training. If only I gave my spiritual training the same effort I used to give my athletic training, maybe then I’d reach my ultimate goal.

We see all kinds of men on ITWs… young, old, rich, poor, fathers and sons and everything in between.  Outdoorsmen, and men who have never been in the wilderness.  Men who are proficient with tools, weapons and outdoor living and men who don’t know the first thing about any of that.  In the end, the men learn from one another and share their skills and talents to build one another up.

August 11-14 at Hickory Run State Park, Pocono Mtns of PA (register by Aug. 4)

September 8-11 at Raccoon Creek State Park, near Pittsburgh, PA

October 13-16 at Allegany State Park, near Buffalo, NY

October 27-30 at Pocahontas State Park, near Richmond, VA

The weekend is Eucharist-centered… because without Christ, we are nothing.  Christ the King is our guide and our model… we are His men.  Every day (Thurs evening through Sunday mid-day) includes Mass, perpetual Adoration, prayer and the Rosary as well as activities directly associated with being leaders, protectors and providers.  A retreat chaplain is with us on each weekend to celebrate the Sacraments and offer spiritual guidance.  (For ITW-Pittsburgh, Bishop David Zubik will be joining us again for a fire-side Q&A and for Confessions.)  Each day also includes activities/skill training and faith in a masculine modality.  We don’t sit around all day and listen to talks (we have one short talk a day)… we are active the entire weekend!  Prepare to be tired yet invigorated!  Overall, men experience something like never before; an experience unique and satisfying, as well as encouraging and fruitful in the lives of the men who attend.

Whether we’re orienteering, sitting around a campfire talking, praying, shooting, hiking, celebrating Mass, listening to a talk or building something, we are renewed and excited about our faith once again!  Come check it out… you won’t be sorry.  Oh yeah, and since we have a 5-star chef on the weekends, we eat really really really well!

For more info, to register and/or to watch the 10-minute ITW video, click www.IntoTheWildWeekend.com.

TrueMan up!

What’s happening in these boys’ lives is transforming, and will make an impact on them for years to come.  For boys, you have to engage them with the things that speak to their inner being – the things that make them wild, rough, adventurous and challenged.  This is the way Christ lived, that’s why it’s so appealing to boys.  It’s real, it’s authentically masculine and it’s really fun.

When you can reach a boy, you can teach him and form him.  When a boy is taught and formed properly, he becomes a great man.  Our world needs a lot of great men.

Please take a few moments to watch their video and visit their website.

TrueMan up!

You see, at the fire house, the apparent need to be macho is very prevalent.  ’Cultural Manliness’ in full swing.  It’s been a while since I’ve been around this sort of behavior in this sort of context, but it certainly isn’t new to me.  I played sports my entire childhood life, even up into college (FB and Rugby at BC) and it was very prevalent there, too.  The idea that the more smack I talk, or the better zinger I can dish out, or the more raunchy the joke or the more foul the language, then the more manly I am.  Obviously, if you’ve ever read this blog before, you know where I stand on this issue.  These behaviors and characteristics don’t make you more manly, in fact, they diminish a man’s ability to live TrueManhood.

So, as I look forward to getting fire calls, attending training and potentially saving property and lives, I look forward also to the sort of impact I can make in the lives of my fellow brother firefighters.  I plan to make in-roads with men individually and once a relationship is forged and I gain trust and moral authority with them, I will begin to challenge them to not act like the rest of the guys.  We are a small fire company, but have great potential due to our leadership and equipment.  This will be the true test of my ability to live the faith and set a good example.  Most of the men who were present last night did not come off at first glance as being believers, but as with every man, their core is good.  A little refinement (I continue to need LOTS of refinement) will do them some good and they in turn will do even more good than that!

I turn this around on you… where in your life are you surrounded by cultural manliness?  Are there men around you that act like this?  Maybe you’re a firefighter, athlete, military serviceman, salesman, waiter, CEO, construction worker, missionary, or some other profession… where can you make an impact and live as a TrueMan instead of a cultural man?

TrueMan up!

The King’s Men ministry does many things, but one that I want to encourage you to become involved with is called “Into the Wild.”  (www.IntoTheWildWeekend.com)  Into the Wild, or ITW, is an experiential, outdoor retreat program centered around men becoming leaders, protectors and providers in a Catholic modality.  As far as retreats go, it is THE MOST DYNAMIC RETREAT EXPERIENCE FOR MEN IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TODAY.  Mark my words – there is nothing like this retreat and nothing so dynamic for men to avail themselves to.

On the retreat, men experience more things than I could possibly list here and certainly could not do justice to with mere words.

The King’s Men are hosting 5 ITWs this summer.  One has passed – four additional retreats will take place in 2011… August 11-14 at Hickory Run State Park in Jim Thorpe, PA, September 8-11 at Raccoon Creek State Park near Pittsburgh, PA, October 13-16 at Allegany State Park near Buffalo, NY/Erie, PA and October 27-30 at Pocahontas State Park near Richmond, VA.  For more information and to register, click HERE.

Here’s a 10-minute video about ITW.

Attend – you will be glad you did!

TrueMan up!

“Cardinals’ lefthander, a Knight of Columbus, has challenges on and off the field”

By Brian Caulfield

“As he begins his 12th season as a major league pitcher, Trever Miller is familiar with baseball’s performance measurements: earned run average, strikeout-walk ratio, winning percentage, saves and a dozen other metrics. A lanky lefty reliever with the St. Louis Cardinals, who specializes in retiring left-handed batters in late innings, he even holds a major league record for consecutive mound appearances without a win or loss decision. Having pitched for five teams, the 37-year-old hurler’s lifetime record is a respectable 18-16.

Star pitcher Trever Miller with his daughter Grace.

But as a father of a child who was born with two holes in her heart and a genetic disorder so rare that it doesn’t have a name, Miller measures success in life in more basic ways these days – the next breath, a winning smile, a new movement from his daughter Grace. She was not supposed to leave the hospital after birth yet turns a miraculous 7 years old in June.

“Faith goes with the territory,” Miller said last month during the Cardinals’ spring training in Florida. “Grace is my hero and my inspiration. She has overcome more physical tests than I ever have in a lifetime of baseball.”

Miller is a member of the Knights of Columbus’ Our Lady of the Rosary Council 8104 in Land o’ Lakes, Florida. He was brought into the fraternal Order by his father, Terry Miller, who serves as financial secretary for the same council. Father and son are both Fourth Degree Knights in Fr. Malachy Hugh Maguire Assembly 2741.

“I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school” in Louisville, Kentucky, said the younger Miller. He attends Mass each Sunday and when Mass is offered in the Cardinals’ clubhouse through an arrangement with the group Catholic Athletes for Christ.

One of Kentucky’s all-time great baseball stars at Trinity High School, Miller was drafted by the Detroit Tigers after graduating. He spent a few years in the minors before breaking into the big leagues in 1996.

Trever and Pari Miller (left) with their three children and extended family.

A year earlier, he married Pari, his wife of 16 years, and they have three children: Tyler, 14, who is a member of the Columbian Squires; McKenzie, 13, and Grace. After his youngest child was born, he and his wife had a choice to make about her treatment. The couple opted for life and hope by approving surgery to close the holes in her tiny heart.

Today, she cannot walk or talk, and a simple cold can mean a trip to the emergency room to prevent fluid from filling her lungs. Still, Grace attends school as often as she can and receives regular therapy.

“She’s a battler, she’s tough,” said Terry Miller, her grandfather. “She’s the only child with her condition who has lived beyond one year, so nothing would surprise me, even if she started talking one day. I’m sure she’d have a lot to tell us.”

Trever Miller tells of dark days a few years ago when he was angry with everyone, including God, over his daughter’s condition.

“We were stunned, we didn’t understand,” he recalled. “We had to stress acceptance, and as a father I wanted to fix her situation and I couldn’t. It was a helpless feeling.”

As a man who makes his living by his physical abilities, acceptance has been difficult. “Dads are looked to as Mr. Fix It, but no matter what I couldn’t fix this. It was tough that I couldn’t control this.”

He now pours his frustration into running, completing two 26.2-mile marathons and wearing a t-shirt that reads: “26 for Grace, .2 for me.”

“I think our faith in God and his running was his saving,” his wife said.

Miller agrees. “One thing all this has done is to keep our family praying,” he said. “Because of this, Grace has so many other people praying for her too.”

Trever Miller is hoping for a stellar year with the Cardinals, but he knows that his biggest wins will be at home with his family.”

If you ever have trouble praying, or simply want to attempt to prevent distraction and daydreaming in prayer, I suggest that you get a well-made crucifix or a well-done painting/picture of Jesus.  Gaze upon the crucifix and allow the reality of His sacrifice to sink in.  Personally, I used to carry around a very special St. Benedict crucifix that was gifted to me from a friend who attended the Toronto World Youth Day and had it blessed by Pope John Paul II.  (I say “used to” because all the time in my pocket, day-in and day-out, wore the metal of the crucifix down and the corpus of Jesus became distorted, so instead of continuing to damage it, I stopped carrying it.)  On my home office desk, I have a crucifix statue that stands near my laptop.  In every room in our home, we have a crucifix.  At all times, I carry a Rosary in my pocket with the crucifix.  Why?  So that I can, at any time, gaze upon the man I want to be like.  I want to serve like He served.  I want to be strong like He was strong.  I want to love as He loved.

For many of us, we’ve heard “Keep your eye on the ball.”  or, “Keep your eyes on the prize.”  I say, Keep your eyes on the Cross.

TrueMan up!

PS: If I get a request from at least 3 readers, I’ll explain more about the significance of the St. Benedict crucifix that was purchased for me at WYD in Toronto.  Send them via the comment section below or via email!