The Struggle Through Lent

Lent can be very trying.  So often, we embrace Lent early on as a way to purify ourselves from all the bad habits we have, but fail miserably at fulfilling our intentions for the entire forty days.  I notice that lots of people make Lenten devotions that are nice and good, but not specific to the things they really should be working on.  For instance, someone may need to increase prayer, but instead, they give up eating chocolate.  This is missing the point of Lent – a purification of our sinful ways towards a life in Christ.

Another problem I see pretty regularly is that we lose sight of the point of giving something up and fail to recognize what we need to include/add something to counteract the deprivation.  For instance, if you give up chocolate to improve your will power, but constantly complain about not being able to eat chocolate, you aren’t working on your will power.  Personally, I gave up music while driving.  I didn’t give it up to simply give it up, I gave it up to 1. increase my prayer life (which means I have to pray while I’m driving, instead of listening to music) and 2. experience some silence, even if it is distracted silence.

Often times, we set lofty goals for what sort of Lent we expect to experience and then get frustrated and disappointed that we aren’t as “holy” as we had hoped.  This is often referred to as “dryness.”  Sometimes it works out, but often, we fail to meet our goals.  The frustration, doubt, anger and uneasiness that comes from a “bad” Lenten experience is what the devil wants from you.  Don’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that you were frustrated.

So, with only a few days left for Lent 2010, you can still make your Lenten devotions strong.  If you’ve been doing poorly, you can get back on track and make a change in your life.

Man up!

Tuesdays with Daddy – Selfishness Impedes Service

My daughter has been sick for several days.  Because she is a toddler, it is difficult to really pinpoint what’s happening with her, what hurts and how to make her better.  I’ve been at a loss for exactly what to do, and although we’re trying, she doesn’t seem to be getting better.  At least not as fast I my wife and I would hope.  As I’ve been observing her and contemplating solutions to this problem, I realized something today… selfishness impedes service.  What do I mean?

When you’re in charge of someone else, and their entire well-being stems from your actions, it’s plain to see that they not only rely on you to make good decisions, but to be at their service.  This isn’t to say that I wait hand-and-foot on my children, but it means that my daughters, especially when ill, need me to be selfless in regards to them.  And, I want to be a servant-leader for my family and for the world, which requires me to continually learn how to better serve them.  I look at my life and realize (quite often) how selfish I can be.  I like what I like, the way I like it, when I like it, how I like it.  This gets in the way of my ability to truly serve my family.

Where did my selfish tendencies come from?  Besides my fallen human nature, my tendency toward selfishness stems from my past pornography use.  It made everything I do, even serving my sickly little girl, about me.  Because of this revelation, I realized that the only way to do that is to look to the cross.  I must unite my failures in life to the struggle Christ experienced on the cross so that I am purified of my tendency toward comfort, self-pleasure and ease.  My little girl needs me to be one hundred percent committed to taking care of her and if I don’t watch it, I’ll put myself before her, falling into old patterns and losing sight of the cross.  If this happens, my selfishness has won and drastically impedes my ability to serve.

I urge everyone to take a step back, especially during Holy Week, to evaluate the areas in your life (vicious behavior) that require change.  Figure out how to change those things and continue to work on them until you possess the virtue that overcomes that vice.

Man up!