In Response – Are You Serious?

I received a comment from a blog reader today and I believe I need to post her comment and my response. Thoughts are appreciated in the comment section below!

Dear *commentor*,

Thank you for your comment on my website today. I would like to engage in conversation about the issues at hand, and attempt to shed light on the way a man’s brain works. You wrote:

[“I don’t like to use the word dumb but are you serious???? I’m pretty sure there are worse things in this world than posting a bra color and some weirdo commiting a “sin” (masturbating) to it. And Man Up?? How about you man up and realize that porno isn’t just a woman’s issue and if women stop taking their clothes off I’m pretty sure that gay men-on-men porno would still exist. And if you’re one of those men that are struggling with seeing a color posted then get off of Facebook and seek help ASAP. Woman up!’]

I sometimes get negative feedback about things I write, and I’m more than capable of handling the critiques. Please allow me to clarify. Yes, I’m very serious on this subject. Are there worse things in the world than this? Yes, absolutely. Does the content of the topic have effects on some men, yes, most definitely. I question your use of the word “weirdo” in this context – it seems out of place and unnecessary. Most men (even faithful Christian men) have/do/will have addiction issues to pornography and/or masturbation, and whether you know it or not, both are mortal sins. Bras are more to men than simply a piece of fabric, they represent more than just an undergarment. Bras are enticing and intriguing and may get a man’s mind racing with thoughts and emotions, and for some men, the chemicals in the brain plays tricks on them when the image or even thought of a bra pops in their heads. I know this may sound silly, and a bit off-base, but it’s the truth. Women’s minds don’t work like men’s minds do, but even the slightest image/thought can provoke a man to give into sexual temptations, thus leading him into sin.

The term “Man up!” is a term that I end all my posts with. It means, in simple terms, “Be a real man, live virtue!”. If this is offensive to you, that was not my intent.

The reason why I brought up women in pornography was not to place blame or shuck responsibility for men, but to bring to the light that the issues of pornography are occurring because of both genders. If the women of pornography held a higher standard for themselves, there would be no women in porn. The issue of homosexual pornography is all-together something different.

By stating that “if a man is struggling with seeing a color… seek help ASAP” you are missing my point. The point is that even the slightest sexual temptation can lead a man to sin. Men need women to help them along in the journey to holiness, not hinder them. It may seem ludacrous to waste time talking about things like this, but we have to talk about even the seemingly “small” issues. I assure you, the more we turn a blind eye to situations like this, the more we will allow ourselves to be okay with where the world is going. I am not okay with it, and that’s why I’m attempting to shed light on it.

Thanks for your time. If you have any thoughts, comments or questions, please send them my way.

Respectfully,
Dave

Imagining Bras… a Facebook Stunt

Today, female Facebook users everywhere united against an evil that has claimed the lives of many women, breast cancer.  What many of them don’t know, is that their unity may have led some men into serious sin.  Here’s what happened.  Women on Facebook sent around messages among themselves (attempting to leave all males out of the loop) so that all women would put their current bra color as their status update.  Obviously, men caught wind of this, and the secret is out of the bag.

I don’t have a problem with uniting behind a cause.  I don’t have a problem with women wearing bras (I prefer that they do, for modesty’s sake, and their comfort, or so I’m told).  What I have a problem with is when women don’t actively insist on proper behavior from men.  You’re probably thinking to yourself, “How did he jump to that ideal from where he was?”  Easily.  Women should require of men an attitude of service and an attitude of perfection.  When women allow men to act in certain inappropriate ways, it opens the door for men everywhere to “blow it”.  WOMEN, you play a role in men being TrueMen!

Women, when you talk about your bra color, you’re not merely mentioning a bra color, but you’re VIVIDLY describing your breast(s) to a man!  I know it sounds crazy, but your “harmless” act of awareness probably caused many men to sin, I hate to say.  For most guys, they don’t see or think of a bra and stop simply at the fabric and color.  A bra is an intimate thing and makes a man think about other intimate things.  I have to break it to you, men don’t simply stop at the color.

I wanted to share the thoughts of a Naval Officer on this topic: “I know breast cancer awareness is a good thing, but I don’t think the mission was accomplished.  Either 1) guys won’t figure it out and they  will move on with watching the BCS Football Game, or 2) they will pick up on and be drawn down a slippery slope to sin.  I am sure the women did not have this as their intent; they were trying to be fun, flirty and mysterious.  I just cannot condone it.  I personally have not struggled with fantasies for some time, but I led Bible studies for two years while in college, and I know how other men struggle with it.  I guess I just wanted women to know that some men struggle with it, and this is not helping.”

Take heed.  And, on a related side note, did you all realize that if women stopped being in pornography, it would stop?

Man up!