Fr. Emil Kapaun – A TrueMan, and Great Example of Holiness
Father Emil Kapaun of Pilsen, Kansas died a hero at the young age of 35 in a North Korean POW camp in 1951. His message of hope and resolve to never give up still resonates today. The family of Chase Kear hoped that praying to Kapaun would help heal Chase, who was critically injured in 2008. Now the Vatican is investigating whether Chase Kear is a miracle, and whether Kapaun deserves to be a saint. Whether the Church officially canonizes Fr. Kapaun or not, we can all take many lessons from him. He was a true servant, always putting others and their needs before his own. He broke racial and religious barriers by being courageous enough to speak and live the Good News of Jesus Christ as Lord. May He rest in peace. Here is a good site to read more about Fr Kapaun, and now two trailers about a documentary that was made about Fr. Kapaun.
Version 1:
Version 2:
The TrueManhood Code
The singing cowboy, Gene Autry, had certain rules about what it takes to be a cowboy. I think what he had to say works not only for cowboys, but for all men.
If you’ll notice, Mr. Autry clearly stated that a cowboy ‘MUST’ do these things… they aren’t options. A TrueMan, too, doesn’t have the option to tell the truth or not, or to be a good worker only some of the time. A TrueMan can’t only respect women on occasion or have clean personal habits from time-to-time. In order to be a TrueMan, we work to possess the character of a real, authentic man, living out the role that God created us for, and we do it at all times. The life of a TrueMan isn’t simply a switch we turn on when we’re in public, or when we’re in a job interview, or when we’re trying to impress someone. It is a lifestyle, a complete and totally devoted lifestyle in which we surrender all unto the Lord, for He is our master and our purpose. The TrueManhood Code is a life of virtue.
May you always live virtue, and in all things, glorify God.
Man up!
For the Sake of Others
Something that’s been on my mind lately is the idea of suffering… suffering not in the sense of physical anguish or truly desperate spiritual tribulations, but the idea of suffering in the sense of offering up troublesome times for the sake of others. There are plenty of times in our lives when we can look selfishly upon a situation and complain about how bad we have it. There are plenty of times when we have a skewed view of what’s actually happening in our lives. These times call us to a higher standard, they call us to holiness.
I want to submit a challenge to everyone reading this post. The challenge is this: over the next seven days (start today and go for one week), I challenge you to step outside of your own mindset and put yourself in the shoes of those around you. Once you do this, I challenge you to offer up your suffering for them. By offering up your suffering for them, you are asking for grace to be abundantly poured out upon them. You take the little situations (or big) that are hard to deal with, and you place them at the foot of the cross. You do this for others around you, not for yourself. So think about the homeless person you drove past today asking for some spare change, the cashier at the super market, a newborn in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and offer up to the Father all your struggles for their sake. Maybe your sacrifice will lessen the troubles they experience.
This sort of behavior is counter-cultural. It may feel weird at times, and you will probably never know the outcome of your sacrifice, but I guarantee that it will change your life. Anytime you can lessen your selfish behavior and grow in holiness, I recommend taking that opportunity.
This time of year, I often think not only of the birth of Christ, or merely of the uncompromising “Yes!” of Mary, but also, the incredibly manly sacrifice of St. Joseph. Do you realize how hard the journey to Bethlehem would have been? Not only DID HE WALK HIS PREGNANT BETROTHED TO BETHLEHEM 100 MILES AWAY from Nazareth!, he put up with public ridicule, family shame and abandonment for being associated with an unmarried pregnant woman and still chose to raise Jesus. I can imagine St. Joseph (an incredible example of TrueManhood) never complaining, never mistreating Mary, never giving in on anything for Jesus. What an incredible man. May we all follow in his footsteps and be strong for Jesus, even in the face of suffering.
Man up!
To a Child, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E
Please take some time to watch this video. I think it’s easy for us, especially those of us who are parents, to lose perspective of what’s important. This video hit me profoundly and I have been striving to incorporate other’s desires, views and opinions into my daily life.
Man up!
Man-ifesto, Needs Context
A message about the Docker’s “Man-ifesto” came through my inbox today and I wanted to draw some attention to it. The point of what Dockers is trying to do comes across, however, I think it needs some explanation in order to make it better. This explanation sets the context of what manhood is, why it is vital and how a man can live TrueManhood.
I really like the parts about gentlemanly behavior. I tend to believe that chivalry is dying, but I know that it can be resurrected from the dead if men would take a few extra seconds here and there to help women out (it needs to then become a mindset) AND if women allow a man to be a gentleman. The loss of masculinity in our culture is overwhelming, which is a big reason why I operate this website. Males tend to give into societal pressures (vanity and pride are big here) and because of the idea of “cultural manliness” (if you don’t know what this is, you need to read more of my writings here! Use the search box to find CULTURAL MANLINESS!) are often rewarded for doing so. If you haven’t heard Brad Paisley’s song, “I’m Still a Guy”, he mentions lots of stuff about the decline of masculinity: “These days, there’s dudes gettin’ facials, manicured, waxed and botoxed. With deep spray on tans, and creamy-lotiony hands, you can’t grip a tackle box. With all of these dudes linin’ up get nudered it’s hip now to be feminized…” It’s funny, haha, but true. A way for us to gauge our own behavior and motivations is to look at the most manly men we know. This doesn’t mean Chuck Norris and Charleston Heston, this means TrueMen, like St. Joseph, St. Thomas More and Jesus Himself! These men exemplify manliness, they are our guides.
The Dockers Man-ifesto takes jabs at stuff like salad bars, misbehaved children and complacency, but it never answers the question ‘why’.
The term “wear the pants” is typically misconstrued and misused; typically the term means something similar to dominate, or rule over. This is NOT the role of a man. A TrueMan leads, yes, but not with an iron fist. A TrueMan makes decisions, but not by force. A TrueMan loves and honors and respects. (In the coming days, as soon as I have my voice back, I’m producing a video talking more about this topic.)
And let’s be clear, the “call to manhood” is to live virtue! In Latin, virtus means manliness!
I urge men and women to read through Docker’s Man-ifesto and determine what areas should be worded differently if it was the TrueMan-ifesto. Maybe I’ll do that too, and post my thoughts on it. Your comments are appreciated.
Man up!
Congratulations on Graduation Day, Thomas!
Today is a monumental day in the life of The Avolio Family, and for the family’s friends. Today, Wednesday, December 16, 2009,
Thomas Avolio is graduating from the United States Air Force Academy and will receive a commission as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Air Force. Although many young men and women graduate from the Air Force Academy each year, none come anywhere close to measuring up to Thomas’ life.
In 2006, Thomas was hiking a mountain directly behind the cadet area, called Eagle’s Peak. To summit Eagle’s Peak, the hiker must exert a significant amount of energy, which all becomes well-worth it once atop this hallowed peak; the view is marvelous. For Thomas, the last time he hiked the mountain would change his life forever.
Due to a loss of traction, Thomas took an incredibly vicious fall, falling 200 vertical feet. His body was mangled, his limbs were broken. Luckily, three young men were hiking below and rushed to his aid. Thanks to their quick thinking and previous first aid training, they were able to stabilize Thomas and call for help. Hours and hours went by as authorities attempted to save his life. Flight for Life was called in and flew Thomas to a local hospital. With the loss of blood, the trauma to his brain and the severity of his injuries, the doctors showed almost no signs of hope. However, in an incredible miracle directly from God, Thomas managed to fight for his life.
I was present for a great deal of Thomas’ recovery. I visited him in the hospital, spent countless hours praying and offering Mass for his recovery and spent many long days with his family at the hospital. It appeared, early on, that Thomas would be devastated by the fall and that he would rely on machines, apparatus and other’s loving care to make it in life. At this point, it was a real-life miracle that he was even alive. All the odds were against him, but Thomas had a different plan. From the first time that Thomas came to (out of his coma) and was able to coherently think and talk, he spoke of returning to the Academy one day and becoming an officer, as he had dreamed of in the past. His determination was strong and fierce.
Although it took lots of time in rehab and time learning how to talk, walk and think, Thomas never said can’t. He demonstrated an amazing attitude, something we can all learn from and strive to possess. Today, Thomas is proving that hard work, determination and prayer can get us through anything.
Thomas is a TrueMan. He is a man of deep faith. He strives for holiness. He works on living virtue. He shares his life with those around him. Thomas, keep up the great work, my friend. You deserve many blessings. Way to Man up!
Camouflage and Christmas Lights
Please take a moment to watch the following video. Even more important than the pictures, are the words to the song. The song “Camouflage and Christmas Lights” is sung by Rodney Carrington. Typically, I do not recommend his stuff, as it is usually vulgar and crude, however, this song is well-worth passing along.
I want to thank my brother (unnamed) for what he does for all of us. He’s deployed now, for the third time, and will be away from home for Christmas. Come home soon, bro.
A great friend of mine is also deployed, and will be missing Christmas with his wife and daughters. Justin, be safe.
To all our service men and women, a sincere thank you.
Man up!
Great Resource in the Fight Against Porn
I’m familiar with various software that tracks visited sites and believe that they can greatly aid a man in his fight against pornography addiction. There are many ways of going about this fight, I urge you to find out what battle plan works for you. If you need a place to start, check out my 5-Step Plan.
I’m posting these videos here not specifically because I support or endorse Covenant Eyes, but because of the words of the men and women in these videos. If you have an addiction to pornography, or know someone who does, you may want to look into this software. In this situation, a man can use his pride, his desire for integrity, his need for strength, as tools to aid him in the fight against porn. If you need it, spend the money and do it. Do it today. Please take the time to watch these videos, I think they have some great information in them.
Man up!
No Idea Where to Take It
Since my first post about Tiger (nine days ago), an incredible amount of information has surfaced in this story. 
Obviously, we’ve all seen or heard at least some details. At this point, I have no idea where to take it. There’s so much to talk about, I don’t care to get into it. To me, Tiger has become another Lindsay Lohan/Britney Spears/A-Rod/John&Kate+8 tabloid star. In light of this, I probably won’t blog more about him or this situation unless something really sticks out to me.
In response to a comment I received, I’d like to clear up a few things. Here is the comment:
While I certainly do not condone his behavior, I think you are being a bit judgmental – especially when you state that “I won’t forget.” You are carrying a grudge against him and seem as though you are unwilling to forgive him for his transgressions. Hate the sin, not the sinner.
Tiger is at a low point in his life. He obviously has some major problems that he needs to deal with. On the news this morning, I heard reports of even more affairs and a possible addiction to pain killers.
Advent is a time of forgiveness and repentance. We need to forgive him. Tiger needs to repent. Pray that he understands the ramifications of his actions and that he is able to deal with these issues head on (repent).
I’ve discussed the topic of “judgmental” before, but I’ll clear up the confusion. Typically, the term ‘judgmental’ is misused in our society. Although I may receive some flack for this, to be judgmental is good… we judge actions of individuals to determine whether or not they would be good friends. As a parent, I judge the actions of individuals to determine whether or not they can have contact with my children. We judge decisions, records and work-ethic of political figures to determine whether or not we should vote for them. We judge moral decisions. We judge a great deal of things. In this case, I was judging Tiger’s actions. The confusion, I believe, comes when judgmental is used in place of “condemning”. When we condemn others, we put ourselves in the place of Christ, taking the position of “you’re going to hell because of…”. Condemning others is not our place, nor will it ever be. Judgment is a virtue, in fact, you can read about it in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 1806, under the heading of Prudence.
I’m not “unwilling to forgive” Tiger, nor am I carrying a grudge. My point in the previous post about Tiger was that he is in the lime light and can’t simply turn that off because he made some mistakes. His actions (morally right, wrong or indifferent) will have lasting effects on society. You may say I’m stretching it here, but there will be men who think to themselves, and some who actually say the words out loud, “Tiger did it, it’s okay for me to do it too”. His influence is (was) too powerful for that not to happen.
Also mentioned was the topic of forgiveness. Yes, we are in Advent; it’s not a time of forgiveness or repentance, as stated in the comment. Advent is a time of preparation and expectancy for the coming birth of the Christ child. So, let’s look at this in the context of the Tiger situation, how does Advent play a role in how we look at everything? First off, it’s not my place to forgive him, he has not trespassed against me… that’s for God and Tiger’s wife Elin. Next, it was necessary that Jesus came into this world, to unite us to the Father because of our failings. Our (mankind’s) sins were so grave that God Himself HAD to take human form, lowering Himself to human status, in order to redeem us. Tiger, the same as all of us, needs God’s grace, His forgiveness and His mercy. In this time of suffering and struggle for Tiger, I wish him healing. I pray for a conversion of his soul. Tiger obviously needs God, he might not know it yet, but he needs him. And yes, you’re right, “hate the sin, love the sinner”.
I highly recommend that we all take a break from this tabloid saga and concentrate on more important things, like manning up!
Man up!
“The Physical Part is the Hardest for Us” – Get Rid of the Porn
I recently received an email from a loyal reader of the website. Inside the email contained a story that I have heard many times. The story of a young man, striving for holiness, in a relationship with a wonderful young woman, also striving for holiness. Yet, undoubtedly, this couple has “weakness of the flesh”. Just yesterday I received an email from another young gentleman, a first-time reader of the site, who told me similar information. How does a couple prevent this sort of temptation? How does a couple who has already experienced physical intimacy with one another bounce back and live chastity? How does a couple know when they’ve crossed the line?
Let’s be honest… it’s normal to be physically attracted to someone you are in a romantic relationship with! Duh! 
It’s usually a tell-tale sign that the relationship isn’t going anywhere when you aren’t. That’s not usually the problem. Typically, the problem is that one or both of the persons in the relationship have had physical relationships before. One may think that the other expects certain things, or they may think that in order to keep them, they need to “do things”. They may also think that “it’s normal” or that “it’s what people in love do”. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the majority of relationships that are prematurely physically intimate, one or both of the individuals in the relationship either have a problem with pornography, are infatuated with the media or feel some sort of pressure to perform. I believe that without these major stumbling blocks in the way, a couple is more apt to lead healthy, chaste relationships.
Why do these stumbling blocks matter? If someone is involved with pornography, their entire perception of truth, as related to sexuality, is skewed. They are unable to see the beauty which God created and intended sex to be. If someone is infatuated with the media, they often put themselves in the place of their favorite star, character or role. This becomes fantasy and is problematic when reality sets in. Either way, neither individual is in a place where they are even supposed to be giving themselves as a free-gift to their significant other simply because they aren’t married yet! Living a life of selfish, hedonistic motivations leads only to more selfishness. Selfishness kills relationships.
You may be wondering why I’m bringing this up. I know, from my countless discussions with hundreds and hundreds of men from all over the country, most of whom have/had addictions to pornography, that most of us would not have issues with physical intimacy (prior to or in marriage) if it weren’t for our weakness and failures associated with our addiction. I urge you to get rid of the porn! It is secretly destroying your life. You may not be able to see it, but I speak from personal experience… it’s creeping in where ever it can and it will pounce at the right time. If you want to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship, with the woman of your dreams (I have this!!!) work on your personal chastity starting RIGHT NOW! Work on being self-giving, instead of self-serving. Selfishness is a horrible trait, so get rid of it.
Coming up soon, keeping our eyes on Christ on the Cross.
Man up!
