Smokin’ in a Blizzard
October 30, 2009 by admin
Filed under Blog, Fatherhood, Virtue
It’s been pretty cold here the last few days. The cold and snow typically get people to bundle up and only go out when they have to. Yesterday, however, I drove past a car with the driver’s side window down. At first, I thought it was because the driver was smoking, which turned out to be the case, but as I took a closer look, I noticed that a young boy was sitting in his car seat in the backseat of the car. Now, this blog isn’t about telling people not to smoke – smoking is gross and everyone already knows that. If someone chooses to smoke, they’ve already given up. What this blog IS about is challenging males to be better, to be TrueMen.
In the case of this father (the assumption here is that the man driving the car is the child’s father), not only was he smoking around his child, which is statistically proven to [enormously] increase the chances of his son smoking, starting at a young age, but more importantly he was playing freeze-out with his two year old in order to smoke! Yesterday’s high was around 28 degrees Fahrenheit! Does it sound to you like the father has his child’s best interest at heart? Or, as it appears to me, does the father have his nicotine addiction as his number one priority?
It’s pretty simple to see what the virtuous thing to do here is. Yes, quitting smoking would be a virtuous thing. However, the virtue of prudence is what this man should be striving for. Prudence would tell him that he 1. shouldn’t be smoking around his child and 2. that he should wait until he’s not in the car to smoke, thus not having to roll his window down when it’s freezing outside and his child is in the backseat of the car. C’mon, brother, put your kid’s needs and best interest before your cancer-sticks.
Man up!
Fallible Blogma’s “Support a Catholic Speaker” Month
I agreed to write up a brief post on a Catholic speaker for Fallible Blogma‘s “Support a Catholic Speaker” Month. Click HERE to see the entire list. I chose to blog about Mr. Richard Lane. Here’s his bio:
“Born in Detroit, Michigan to Mary O. Alexander, retired Educator for the Highland Park School system and the Late Dick “Night Train” Lane; National Football League Hall of Fame Cornerback, Mr. Lane, Jr. attended Morehouse College in Atlanta Georgia and also served honorably for nearly six years in the United States Army Military Police Corps in numerous domestic and international locations.
As a convert to the Faith in April 19, 2003, it was in early 2005 when Mr. Lane was lead to begin proclaiming the Gospel as a Street Corner Evangelist, sharing the Word of God, passing out Bibles, Crosses and other Religious items. Since that time Mr. Lane has been featured on “Catholic Answers Live”, Ave Maria Radio, Relevant Radio, Our Sunday Visitor, the National Catholic Reporter, Sports Review Magazine, as well as Eternal Word Television Network’s (EWTN) the “Journey Home” with Marcus Grodi and is the Co-Founder of Catholic Men for Christ Men’s Conference in St. Louis, Missouri which continues to draw thousands of men each year to hear the Powerful Message of the Gospel.”
Mr. Lane and I are represented by the same booking agency, CMG Booking. CMG Booking is the premier source for Catholic speakers. To book Mr. Lane for your next event, click HERE. If you would like to book me to speak at your next event, please click HERE.
Man up!
The Power to Positively Effect Change
I don’t typically follow mainstream media, news or happenings, and I definitely don’t follow the NBA, so this story was interesting to me when I heard about it. Recently, in an interview with Maxim Magazine, LeBron James (Team Captain of the Cleveland Cavaliers) was quoted, when asked “If there was one guy on the planet you could dunk on, who would it be?”, as saying: “If it doesn’t have to be a basketball player, George W. Bush. I would dunk on his [ass], break the rim, and shatter the glass.” (LeBron is a known-supporter of Barack Obama.)
The friend who told me about this LeBron story wrote this to me in our correspondence: “Boston just beat the Cavaliers with King James and Shaq. After LeBron’s majorly inappropriate comment about wanting to dunk and shatter the backboard over Pres. Bush (more than any other person), I have lost respect for LeBron. How about dunking over Osama Bin Laden? In LeBron’s role model position, you just don’t show that kind of disrespect for the President even if you don’t like him. Not to mention, his poor sportsmanship in losing the playoffs last year… he wouldn’t shake hands after the game. Your manly opinion on this?“
In response, I wrote: “In my humble opinion, LeBron has no class, no leadership and an immaturity that rivals others. He who, in his position, could effect MAJOR POSITIVE CHANGE on a global level. On a manliness scale, he’d rank very very low. No virtue = Not Manly.”
The reason I highlighted positive change (both in my response to my friend and in the title of this post) is because LeBron could bring
about so much positive change in this world, simply because of his stature, his following and his presence in the media. The trouble here, is that if you ask a fan of LeBron if he’s effecting positive change in the world, they’ll emphatically say “Yes!” It’s a clouded judgment that some people can’t see past because he appears to be so influential and such a boost for the sport. A TRUE boost to the sport would be challenging men to live virtuous, moral lives.
Just my $.02 today.
Man up!
Virtue – a MUST
I feel like I’m constantly either writing or talking about virtue, but nearly everyday, I realize that we all need to hear about virtue more and more. Virtue is vital to living a Christ-centered life. What is virtue? In short, virtue means manliness (from the Latin virtus). Maybe that doesn’t make sense… how can Prudence, Justice, Fortitude and Temperance mean manliness? They don’t – they mean what they mean. It’s the opposite – manliness means possessing the virtues. Does that mean that in order to be manly a man must be virtuous?
Precisely! Authentic [true] manliness (the whole point of this website!) is living virtue! Plain and simple. Alright, so how do I know if I’m virtuous (or manly)? Take the test; the definition is “Virtue is the habitual and firm disposition to do the good.” You can’t partially possess virtue – it’s all or none. The test: do I perform the virtue as a habit while also doing it promptly, easily, consistently and with joy? If not, you don’t have that particular virtue. If so, then you do.
If you want to grow in virtue, it takes two things: 1. Grace and 2. Practice. The grace part isn’t up to you, but the practice part is. If you want to grow in virtue, practice makes perfect! Ask God for opportunities to practice each virtue. If you ask (sincerely), He’ll give you the opportunity. Try it, you’ll see. I recommend that you think long and hard about which virtue you need/want to work on the most (and soon!) and ask God for it. (I’d like to know how this works out for you – please keep me posted via comments or emails.)
So, then does that mean that women can’t be virtuous, or shouldn’t even try to be? No, not at all. And it doesn’t mean that a woman who is virtuous is manly. In the case of women, they should also be striving for virtue, which also means character, excellence, valor, etc. Women grow in virtue the same way men do, through grace and practice.
For a more concise explanation, check out the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs 1803-1845.
“The goal of a virtuous life is to become like God.” – St. Gregory of Nyssa.
Man up!
Into the Wild
Men, if you’re looking for a great retreat experience and want to be real with yourself (about life, relationships, work, faith, sin, struggles, victories and a whole lot more) and with other Catholic men, then “Into the Wild” is the retreat for you! Into the Wild (ITW) is the most dynamic retreat experience for men in the Church today. Period.
We see all kinds of men on ITWs… young, old, rich, poor, fathers and sons and everything in between. Outdoorsmen, and men who have never been in the wilderness. Men who are proficient with tools, weapons and outdoor living and men who don’t know the first thing about any of that. In the end, the men learn from one another and share their skills and talents to build one another up.
June 9-12 at French Creek State Park, PA
August 11-14 at Hickory Run State Park, Pocono Mtns of PA (register by Aug. 4)
September 8-11 at Raccoon Creek State Park, near Pittsburgh, PA
October 13-16 at Allegany State Park, near Buffalo, NY
October 27-30 at Pocahontas State Park, near Richmond, VA
The weekend is Eucharist-centered… because without Christ, we are nothing. Christ the King is our guide and our model… we are His men. Every day (Thurs evening through Sunday mid-day) includes Mass, perpetual Adoration, prayer and the Rosary as well as activities directly associated with being leaders, protectors and providers. A retreat chaplain is with us on each weekend to celebrate the Sacraments and offer spiritual guidance. (For ITW-Pittsburgh, Bishop David Zubik joined us again for a fire-side Q&A and for Confessions.) Each day also includes activities/skill training and faith in a masculine modality. We don’t sit around all day and listen to talks (we have one short talk a day)… we are active the entire weekend! Prepare to be tired yet invigorated! Overall, men experience something like never before; an experience unique and satisfying, as well as encouraging and fruitful in the lives of the men who attend.
Whether we’re orienteering, sitting around a campfire talking, praying, shooting, hiking, celebrating Mass, listening to a talk or building something, we are renewed and excited about our faith once again! Come check it out… you won’t be sorry. Oh yeah, and since we have a 5-star chef on the weekends, we eat really really really well!
For more info, to register and/or to watch the 10-minute ITW video, click www.IntoTheWildWeekend.com. Additional dates/locations for 2012 are coming out soon. Stay tuned for more info.
Men’s Formation Groups
Interested in joining a men’s formation group? Sometimes they are referred to as a “small group”. (If you are interested, I can connect you with a group in your area or teach you how to start one on your own.)
The King’s Men currently have over 20 active men’s groups that meet weekly with more on the way. Any man is welcome to join, at anytime. The format of the meetings follows the dynamic and highly effective, not to mention time-tested and proven, model created by The King’s Men. No matter what stage of life a man is in, no matter his education or experience, no matter his marital status or career, a formation group is good for every man. A small formation group is intended to be multifaceted; men may experience some or all of the following from being in a small group: friendship, accountability, challenge, spiritual fortitude, fraternity, strength, encouragement, purpose, virtue!
The meetings typically go something like this:
- Group prayer – the Rosary is suggested. 15-20 minutes.
- Discussion based on a masculine resource. 30-45 minutes. (Masculine resources might be “Boys to Men: The Transforming Power of Virtue”, “Be a Man!”, an encyclical/papal letter, “Signposts” or something similar. Each group’s core team leadership has the autonomy to decide on the resource that is right for their group.) The discussion time is facilitated by a leader and kept on-time by the time keeper. The discussion is not a “teaching moment”, but a formation moment where each man has time to share if he so desires. Great trust and bonding, as well as Scriptural “sharpening” (Prov. 27:17) takes place during this portion of the meeting.
- The 4-Cs. Commit, Confess, Challenge, Confirm. This is the accountability portion of the meeting and what really sets The King’s Men apart from the typical men’s group. Each week, each man makes a commitment to something he is going to do over the next week. The commitment should help him to grow in holiness and virtue. It should be attainable, tangible and should be realistic. The next week, he comes back and “confesses” how he did with his commitment. This process continues each week. If a man needs to be challenged, another man may do so. If a man deserves to be confirmed, another man may do so. Approx. 30 minutes.
- Closing prayer, including each man’s intentions and the general intentions of The King’s Men. 5 minutes.
- Total meeting should be 2 hrs or less.
Groups should be kept to no more than 10-12 men. Once a group grows too large, it should be split into two separate groups. This is done so that each man has the ability to share, seek guidance, be formed and grow personally. If a group is too large, it stifles men’s ability to grow. Some groups choose to remain a large group for prayer, reading and discussion and then choose to split up for The 4 C’s, which is a viable option.
For more information on TKM Formation & Accountability groups, contact me at Dave@TheKingsMen.org or check out the list of active groups by clicking HERE.
Home Page Video
CLICK HERE FOR THE ARTICLE, or start reading below… “We are in the time of year when it is quite easy to become enamored by the lure of sports. The post-season is in full-swing in Major League Baseball, football season is flying at us from all sides (both the National Football League and College Football) and the National Hockey League recently kicked off their season. The National Basketball Association will be tipping off in a matter of weeks and NASCAR and the Professional Golf Association are both going strong. There is no other time on the calendar when all of these sports are played at one time. If you are a sports-junkie, you love this time of year. For many of us, sports have always been an important aspect of our lives.” Continue reading HERE. Man up! “Dave, so when you’re writing about stuff on your blog, do you think you’re better than the men you write about? For instance, the dad that left his family to play arcade games?” My response to the question is good for everyone to read and understand, and I want to be clear about my reasons for my blog posts. My response to him was: When I write my posts, and when I critique a man, I critique not the man himself, but his action(s). In some cases, I see something that is clearly not manly and I write about it. Sometimes, I see something that is manly, and I write about that. In either case, I want to highlight the “thing” done or not done. Each man has the same dignity, but not all men live up to the calling of that dignity. It is never my intention to condemn a man, regardless of his actions. Condemnation isn’t for man, only God. I really appreciate questions like this because I want my readers to fully understand me and my position on manliness. If you have questions, comments, suggestions or concerns, please send them my way and I will be happy to respond. So near my office (at the Air Force Academy), there’s a trail from the chapel parking lot over the hill to the visitor’s center. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people trek over this trail every week. Yesterday, as I was walking to my truck at the end of the day, I saw something that was NOT manly. Guys, whether the women around you are your wife or not, HELP THEM OUT! If it’s another guy, struggling to make it up the hill, you should offer to help him out too! Use common sense, be aware of what’s around you and be a man of action. Do something! Man up!Worshipping the ESPN God
Here is my latest article on iibloom.com. The title is “Worshipping the ESPN God”.Do You Think You’re Better Than the Men You Write About?
A man recently asked me the question (from the title):Just Strollin’ Along
A man was strolling along, walking up the hill easily, without a care in the world… while the woman next to him (I’m assuming his wife) – in a skirt and 4 inch dress-shoe-heels, mind you – was struggling to push their stroller, with baby inside, up this trail! I couldn’t believe it! I wanted to yell out – “Hey, you there, the guy NOT BEING MANLY!!! Why don’t you help her out and push the stroller?! And oh yeah, I’m going to blog about you on www.TrueManhood.com“ In an attempt to be civil, I decided not to. (It would have made a scene and would NOT have been the correct way of challenging this guy to be manly.) Oh, how I wish I had my camera.
