Great Opportunity
This video is for a conference that will change your life. The FOCUS National Conference 2010. It will take place Dec 30, 2009 through Jan 3, 2010 in Orlando, Florida. It’s a great opportunity and I highly encourage you to attend. If you’re a college student and/or young adult, you won’t regret going to this conference. Check it out at www.FOCUSConference.org. This year’s conference will be my 8th FOCUS National Conference!
I’m most excited about Thursday, December 31st… this is the day that I’ll be giving two impact session talks for the men in attendance. You don’t want to miss this.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh9Jtixn8II]
Man up!
Are You Fighting?
Men,
Are you fighting? Are you ready for battle? Have you been training? When temptations come your way, are you ready for war?
If you haven’t read through the page (above) titled “Fighting Porn” I urge you to read it and put it into action. If you’ve read it, re-read it. Another day gone by without training and a battle mission is another day you will be held in slavery to the grave evils of pornography and masturbation. These are mortal sins, meaning that they cut off the life of grace from the Father. These grave evils will ruin your life, and every single relationship you have in the future. Don’ wait, stand up and fight.
Don’t try to kid yourself. Stop justifying your actions. You can achieve freedom from pornography and masturbation – I am a walking testimony to this fact. Never stop fighting, never let your guard down. There is a way out, you must actively work towards it and allow God’s grace to fill your heart, your mind, your life. You can do it! Go, and do it!
If you need assistance with your plan, or how to figure out your plan, or how to start accountability with your brother(s), or any other assistance, please email me at proveritasspeakers@gmail.com.
Man up!
Clarification on Previous Post – "Examples All Around" from Sep 22, 09
I really appreciate the comment from a reader who asked me to clarify why I think the descriptions from the previously-posted Facebook status update (posted originally on September 22, 2009) was so horrible. Here goes:
As you can see, the Facebooker updated their status with one of those “quizzes” to rate yourself on “What Movie Badass Are You?” His initial response was “Guns, Girls and Cars… isn’t that the definition of a badass?” I first want to mention that most guys want to appear “hard” or, in this case, a “badass”. It’s that thing inside us, a territorial thing, an “I can kick your butt” thing. There’s a connotation that goes along with that feeling… that in order to really be hard, you must get as many women as possible, you’ve absolutely got to have a sweet ride and the more guns and ammo you have, the harder you must be. (I could continue on with other categories – how much money you have, what kind of house you live in, what you do for a living, how many employees you have, how many vacations you take, how much power you hold, how many and what kind of scars you have, etc.) This is an example of “cultural manliness”.
The idea of cultural manliness is that, as you accumulate more wealth, as you sleep with more women, as you buy more stuff and as your power “ranking” goes up, the more manly you are. Cultural manliness never takes into account your virtue, your faith, your relationship with God and/or others, how you treat your wife/children/family/friends/strangers/etc. Cultural manliness is a facade, a lie, a demeaning and empty way of living. The glamour of being a “culturally manly” man will wear off in time. How many people will a culturally manly man hurt along the way?
Back to the post… the description (in this case, of James Bond) mentions traits that might be good, if explained more and in the correct context. However, in the context they are in, these traits (strong, fast, clever, refined, etc.) lead only to one trait, “…and still get laid in the process.” These traits aren’t listed in order to positively affect the world or in order for you to become the best man you can become, they’re listed in order to lead towards women sleeping with you. There is a great disparity between these two distinctions.
Let me make myself clear here… there’s nothing wrong with being attractive, refined and clever. There’s nothing wrong with women being drawn to you. The problem here is that the motivation to be those things and to possess those traits is skewed and misguided. Deep down, inside every man, there’s an urge to be “manly” – to be courageous and daring, attractive and intelligent. Listen to what God is saying through your urge to be manly, so that you know what He wants from you. Once you feel the urge and know exactly what God wants you to do with it, you’ll be living a purposeful life for God!
I hope this clarification helps.
Man up!
Ask An Expert
This was a question I responded to on www.iibloom.com today:
What is the best way to get back in the groove of going to Church?
Asked on September 23, 2009
Throughout High School I attended Church on a regular basis with my parents. In college, I would go out on the weekends and would have a tough time regularly attending Church on Sunday….not an excuse…just reality. Now that I am out of college the same routine persists. I’m a baptized Catholic and consider myself Catholic and I have a deep hunger to grow deeper in the faith and prioritize my life. Aside from the lame excuse of my nightlife I have found it very hard to find people to attend Mass with me and I don’t feel comfortable going alone. Any advice?
Answer
Great question! The motivation to regularly attend Mass, after not attending for a while, MUST come from within you. You state, “I have a deep hunger to grow deeper in faith and prioritize my life. ” This is wonderful! No one else can make these decisions for you, so you must come to an understanding of where your motivation “lives,” in order to feed your deep hunger. If your motivation isn’t where you want it, make changes (small or big) to get to where you want to be. I heard it said one time, “Our lives change when our habits change.” These changes don’t come easy and they don’t simply happen because you want them to. It takes action and determination to make these incredibly important changes in your life. You can do it!
I believe that part (a BIG part) of the motivation to attend Mass comes from our understanding of what is happening at Mass. If we understand what Christ did on the cross for us, we’ll better understand what He instituted at the Last Supper and what happens at each and every Mass. We are there to celebrate the Heavenly Banquet, here on earth! Who knew Mass was a big ‘ol party?! (For more on this, I would research “Eucharistic Celebration” in the Catechism of the Catholic Church or speak with your local priest. If you don’t have a Catechism, I highly encourage you to get one and learn how to use it. It will be a wonderful tool for you!)
Blessings,
Dave
Answered on September 23, 2009 by Dave DiNuzzo
Site Update
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FnvBgIWKBU]
Examples Are All Around
There are examples of what not to do all around us. The idea of cultural manliness (this ideology that the more money, power, sex and stuff I have, the more manly I’ll be) is completely absurd. This idea is rampant, yet many times, we’re so desensitized to its ugly face, that we hardly even notice it. I noticed it today… I snagged this post from Facebook today. It’s quite simple, and best explained directly from the picture. Please note, my red circular marks direct your attention to the parts that are most important, and quite honestly, most appalling.
I’m not sure if this guy just wants to fit in or what, but his comment is ridiculous and the words written in the description are horrible too. See for yourself.
Man up!
iibloom.com is Up and Running!
A new site for Young Adult Catholics is up and running. Check out www.iibloom.com. I am a featured content provider. Check out my article, “What is Real Manliness in Today’s Society?”.
More on iibloom.com soon.
Man up!
Fly a Flag Today, Too
Today is Sunday, September 13, 2009. A relatively meaningless day in the overall scheme of the history of the United States of America. Fly an American flag today. I fly an American flag outside of my home every single day of every single year. My father taught me this, by his example, of flying the red, white and blue outside of our home when I was a child; he continues to fly it to this day. Now that I have my own home, I proudly follow in his footsteps and proudly fly “Old Glory” as a sign of my patriotism. True patriotism isn’t simply about specific days of heroism, victory, defeat or tragedy. Patriotism is about supporting our troops, our freedom defenders, our public servants, our rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Fly a flag today, and every day, with pride, honor and glory.
I mean no disrespect to “flag days” – Independence Day, President’s Day, Memorial Day, Veteran’s Day or 9/11. I simply want to call to mind the importance of this flag of ours. I (we) can fly it because of the sacrifice of others who have gone before us. Be proud to be an American and if you don’t/can’t/haven’t served in the military or as a public servant, find a way to support those who do/can/have. Here are a few ways I do:
- I work in forming the Catholic men and women of the United States Air Force Academy in their faith, as people of faith & character and inspire them to live virtuous lives. Without strong, Catholic leaders in the military, our military strength would not be what it is today.
- I proudly volunteer as a Patriot Guard Rider (www.patriotguard.org). Everyone and anyone can join this great organization. It’s free and you don’t have to be a veteran or a motorcycle rider to join. You just have to want to support our troops and their families.
- I actively participate in the community’s events that honor and support out troops and public servants. (Just yesterday, my family participated in a local fire department’s open house.)
- I personally thank each and every soldier, policeman, firefighter and EMT for what they do. It’s very easy and can remind that person why they do what they do. Try it.
- I proudly send care packages and letters/notes/messages to soldiers who are fighting the war on terror.
- I proudly support and pray for the spouses and families of soldiers who are fighting the war on terror.
- I honor those who have gone before us by flying the flag that they gave their life to defend.
Man up!
The Past is the Past, Live for Today
There’s a young couple that I know that inspired this post. They know who they are. The idea came up the other day when speaking to them, that although her past was rocky and riddled with struggle, pain and sin, that he is strong enough, as a man, to move beyond what happened in her past. He is being a TrueMan. She is striving for holiness and he sees that. He encourages her, builds her up, helps her to know that she is great and a wonderful daughter of God the Father. He is encouraged and challenged by her lifestyle, and that makes him better. He realizes that her mistakes of the past are overcome by Christ’s sacrifice. Although the emotional baggage can be difficult to work through, he knows it is well worth the fight. His response could be much different.
Instead of being so loving, understanding and positive, he could choose to react harshly. He could choose to end the relationship. He could choose to be mean, hurtful and condescending. If this was the method he took, he would be forgetting his own brokenness. He would be forgetting the fact that he, as well as she and everyone else, needs the power of Confession and forgiveness from Christ.
I challenge all of my readers to take some time to think about your perspective of today. Is today’s behavior based on mistakes from the past? Are you unable to move forward because of pain from past choices? Do you try to live today in order to right the wrongs from the past? Is the past guiding your today too strongly?
Do you forget about today because of the promise of tomorrow? Do you have an unhealthy assurance that you’ll be alive tomorrow? Do your daily actions, choices, words and thoughts warrant Heaven as a reward of a good and faithful servant? These questions, and so many more, are important. Our attitude is a vital part to our lifestyle.
If we see the past as “fixable”, or today as a waste, or tomorrow as the only thing to live for, then we are missing the boat. We’re called to holiness in every moment of today. This moment may be our last, so we must live it to the full. The past is the past, live for today.
Man up!
Control Your Emotions
I’ve realized, lately, that I often tell my oldest daughter, who is now a new two year old, to control her emotions. Some might think that it’s over the top and too advanced for a child her age, I disagree. I’m trying to convey to her, in a time of an emotional up-and-down, that she has the ability and the power to control her actions in regards to her emotional status. Sometimes she immediately changes her behavior, other times she doesn’t. The realization that I’ve had is that most adults can’t do this simple task.
Emotions are highly overrated and, when used in decision making, volatile. I’m thinking back to several encounters (some of which I have posted about on this site) that I’ve had with adult men over the past several months. The regular and recurring theme between many of the encounters that have gone badly is that the man couldn’t control his emotions. He allowed his emotions (regardless of what they might be) to get the better of him. It’s a shame, really.
By allowing your emotions to be in control, you are saying that your brain isn’t strong enough or smart enough or formed enough (etc) to make a change. I know better than that. Your brain is capable of being in charge and putting your emotion in their right and ordered place. Try it next time… when you’re frustrated in traffic, relax, be a gentleman and keep on. When you get bad service at the restaurant, remain calm, let it roll away – you can still demand customer service, simply do it in the right way. When someone mistreats you, act out of charity… stand firm in the truth and remain vigilant for justice. When you disagree with your spouse, put her needs first, even when it means that you won’t get your way – be a servant-leader. No matter what the situation, you have the ability to control your emotions. I guarantee you, without a doubt, that you’ll like yourself much more and other people will like and respect you more.
Man up!
